Another Libra Leo question-Competition

I also posted on the other thread. Sorry, I keep forgetting that there is a Libra section. Below is my question. Thank you in advance for your help.

How are Libras with competition? I've been going out with a very sexy Libra man but he's started to slow down and showed a bit of distance and non connection half way down the week then goes after me aggressively the other half. I also started to see someone else since Libra man says he doesn't want anything serious so I started to look. So now I'm going out with two, ONLY intimate with Libra man, of course. If he found out that there was competition would he fight back? I'm a Leo if that even matters any. I know we have strong chemistry and have real great talks with each other. Its just one thing I haven't told him is the other guy. Will he get jealous and if so will Libra fight back? In my heart I only want Libra but if he's not there then I may have to walk.

Any advise?

Yes, I think they like competition and challenge... however, it seems a bit .. uhhh.. unwise, maybe?.. to play the Jealousy Game. In this case, it will likely be ineffectual, and could potentially backfire. (How would you feel of Libra said sincerely, "I'm glad you're dating others. I'm dating others too!" I mean, dating others is fine... but if you're still having intimate relations with Libra, how is any of it relevant to Libra? Libra's still got you where he wants you, which is sleeping with him despite not having a serious or committed relationship with him. Libra is thinking, "Why rock the boat?" Libras don't have an urge to fix things that aren't broken to them...

You really want to shake things up, give him a chance to decide what he really wants? Stop sleeping with him. Still go out together, or whatever. Date (or don't date) other guys. Love yourself FIRST, the rest falls into place.

Love your comments. I do have to stop sleeping with him but the chemistry between the both of us is just amazing. So hard for me to say no and vice versa. No matter how tired we both are we make time to see each other. We do go out to do other things but of course, we end up in the sack. All amazing times. I have to find the strength to put sex aside.

To answer the main question yes we are competitive but you have to be careful. With myself and other Libra's I know our ace up our sleeve is winning through not giving you what you want. Playing by our own rules if you will.

Having been in the situation of your Libra guy my competitive style was to play it off like there was no competition between the other person, cut them out completely and at the same time by maintaining the initiative in the situation still have the time to figure out what I really wanted to do.

You have created a game, or what could be easily interpreted as a game. The Libra guy will first decide if it is worth playing, change the variables in the game to his advantage and then....well....win.

"Stop sleeping with him. Still go out together, or whatever. Date (or don't date) other guys."

I am not saying don't do this but this is an ultimatum when it comes down to it and we don't do well with ultimatums...we will get our cake and eat it too out of spite of being put in the situation a lot of times.

The sex isn't the problem, this is like putting a band-aid on your forehead to affect a headache. If you were willing to be intimate without commitment before then the only thing that has changed potentially in his eyes is your confidence in yourself and what you actually want.

My advice is to arrange to meet him in a way that is not part of your normal routine. Be honest, tell him what you want, what you are doing and why you are doing it. He might appreciate the openness and honesty so much that it overrides the things he is dwelling over and preventing him from considering a committed relationship.

I would admire this and it would subdue any reservations about the character of the other person.

The goal is to show your spirit and human element without holding him accountable for your emotions.

The problem with the sex is not the act itself - it's that she's clearly falling for him. When it started out as an amazing, chemistry-charged, fun no-strings affair, she had no problem with their casual sexual relationship. Now that her emotions are getting involved, she's become much more concerned with how he's being a typical Libra LOL, blowing hot and cold with her. This is the biggest reason I suggested she stop sleeping with him, for her OWN peace of mind. Otherwise, she runs the risk of making the mistake many women do - getting too emotionally wrapped up in a man before he's ready for that, and scaring him off. Libra expecting her to continue sleeping with him, even though her feelings and motives have changed would be unreasonable, and Libras tend to be quite reasonable and fair. I don't suggest she does it as some sort of game at all. And yes, I heartily endorse open and honest communication with Mr. Libra.

I know you probably won't stop, jsharck, but I had to suggest it. If someone had told ME to stop sleeping with my Libra beloved, I don't believe I could/would have! And in fact, I dated another Libra before my current Libra. Some eerie similarities in your situation, jsharck. And one of my "good friends" demanded I stop sleeping with him, because she was afraid I'd get hurt. I refused to allow her to dictate my personal life - I'm a grown woman. She said she could no longer be my friend if I continued sleeping with him, and that was the end of our friendship. And that's sort of sad - if she'd only waited a few weeks, *I* chose to end the sexual relationship with him on my own terms, because I'd decided it wasn't the situation for me, not the way it was. Incidentally, it only took him a week or two to regret it and try coming back. I don't honestly know if he'd truly changed, or if he was trying to get back into my pants. I didn't find out, because I realized that I didn't want him back at all, once we weren't having sex anymore and it wasn't clouding my mind and twisting up my emotions. I put it down as a valuable learning experience and moved on from a very good place - the place of loving and valuing MYSELF, which then quickly attracted the attentions of my current Libra.

Oh - and one more advantage of me loving myself first... when my current Libra went through his "deciding" phase and started pulling away and blowing hot and cold around two months in (two months seems to be THE push-comes-to-shove time for Libras! I've seen and heard of it over and over! LOL)... well, I'd seen it before. I was content and centered enough to quietly sit by and let him decide without pressuring him. I continued to love and care for myself, shouldering the responsibility for my own emotions and feelings, secure in the knowledge that if it was to be right for ME, it must be right for HIM too.

No, I won't say it was easy, and yes I was afraid he would find me lacking in some important way and would leave me in that infuriatingly reasonable and sweet Libra way, and want to stay "just friends" with me like they do! Well, he decided I was indeed The One, apparently - we're still in a fully committed and very happy relationship to this day, and someday we'll probably be married. I didn't have to slow down sexually with him though - HE did it, probably to clear his mind and make sure his Big Head was doing the thinking LOL Good thing HE took on that one, because I would not have. I have the dubious ability to keep love and sex entirely separate under most circumstances; very rarely do they get accidentally tangled with me. I prefer to intentionally meld them like I have with my Libra now.