I'm Pregnant ---- Libra Hates Me

I know this goes beyond astrology, but I'm trying to sort this out from all angles, so...

My now-ex boyfriend (libra) and I (gemini) were in an LDR for 6 months. Things were beautiful for the first three, but rocky the last three. He said he had a lot of stress at work and things would be better once his work was better and he got himself sorted out, so I tried to be understanding. He could get pretty mean to me sometimes, though, despite still always telling me he loves me.When I confronted him about it he said it was stress, and ALWAYS reassured me that I had NOTHING to fear in terms of our relationship. I went out o go see him recently, we did the deed, and now I'm pregnant. (Ladies: the pill is NOT 100% effective! Just be aware...)

When I told him, the first thing he told me to do was have an abortion. I told him I couldnt do that. He got nasty, said it wasn't his baby. I told him we coud to a DNA test but he doesn't want to take one. He said I tricked him into getting pregnant (I reay did not, because this is horrible). He said he was going to find some random woman to marry if I didn't abort, and if I did abort then things could be fine again. The manipulation got to me a bit and at one point I was in the clinic, but I coudn't do it. He finally calmed the heck down and spoke to me like a norma human, and laid out the reasons why he isn't ready for a child yet. I told him I understand where he is coming from, but he knew my views on abortion before we got into a relationship, and as illogical as it may be I've chosen to keep the baby.

He says he hates me. Doesn't want me to contact him for anything. Doesn't want to know about the baby. Tells me I ruined our love. He only text or calls if its about a loan that he is repaying (thank god he is actually repaying my money). He has stopped saying manipulative things and yelling, but still adamanty hates me and our baby. He never *actually* broke up with me, so I broke up with him. I immediatey regretted doing so. I told him that and he told me to go die. I know he is being a complete shitwad, but he is the man I love and the father of my child, and quite frankly, I don't want him to go. Is he really abandoning us? Might he come back? Is his Libraness contributing at all to him acting like this?

Ick, why would you want him back?

He hates you, and your baby... He's worthless..

His "Libraness" isn't the problem, however, the fact that he is an asshole, is.

Im sure it's hard to understand why Id want him back, and it's hard to explain to people. To be honest it makes me feel horrible about myself for wanting him back and hoping he changes his mind because everybody, just like you, thinks Im crazy and disgusting for it. Maybe it's just hormones or maybe it's because of the love we had before. Maybe if I wanst the one IN the situation I would feel the same as you.

That poor baby. .. so sad.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
That poor baby. .. so sad.

I hope you realize that by saying "poor baby" youre implying that I am incapable of being a good parent to my child. Which is pretty cunty.

The pill is effective assuming the user is taking it correctly. You fucked up, not the pill.

I never missed a day, wasnt on antibiotics nor on any medication that could interfere with it. Same pill Ive been taking for years. But the birth control is not the issue here.

Posted by buyonegetone
Im sure it's hard to understand why Id want him back, and it's hard to explain to people. To be honest it makes me feel horrible about myself for wanting him back and hoping he changes his mind because everybody, just like you, thinks Im crazy and disgusting for it. Maybe it's just hormones or maybe it's because of the love we had before. Maybe if I wanst the one IN the situation I would feel the same as you.

No, you're just being a silly bitch who thinks that this is the same guy that you saw in the first 3 months. When you date a guy, give him 3 months to show you who he really is. He did that. What you are seeing is what you will get.

The comment "that poor baby" is a reflection on both of you. You're a selfish asshole to want to keep him around because your lady bits are dictating your logic. This man and this situation will NOT prove to be the best to raise a child in. You have this immature, self absorbed asshole who manipulates and says terrible things to you, as the sperm donor to this kid. That is all he is because he has shown NOTHING that proves he will be a decent father.

There is nothing to explain on your part. You are being irrational and emotionally selfish. You're clinging on to the facade that he gave you, which disappeared 3 months ago. Honey, he is NOT that fairy tale dude you saw in the beginning. This troll of a human being is who he will be. So the question is, what the hell is your insecure deal that you think you need to keep such a terrible human being around? It's nothing but bad for you and the kid.

You know those stories in the media where the mom lets the boyfriend do terrible things to her kid because she is so desperate to keep a man in her life? That's the potential of this situation. You need to start thinking a bit more logically for that kid.

Posted by buyonegetone
I never missed a day, wasnt on antibiotics nor on any medication that could interfere with it. Same pill Ive been taking for years. But the birth control is not the issue here.

Still, pills are too much room for error. The pill is so severely outdated given there are other, more effective forms of birth control now. I never even contemplated the pill because of that margin of error. ...and I'm shit at remembering to take pills.

Nuvaring and IUD ftw.

I read all the previous comments, and to my astonishment, the judgmental remarks are unbearable. The OP did act responsibly. She was on the pill. There are some natural, unpredictable occurrences that even modern science can't explain.

No one has a right to make reproductive decisions for the OP----but the OP.

As for this man she's professing her love for, there was NEVER a relationship, just a long distance booty call, unbeknownst to the OP of course.

My personal opinion, if you take an adamant unwanted pregnancy + Long Distance relationship ... you have a man who is either married, engaged or committed to someone else.

The news of a pregnancy can expose a scandal.

Don't buy into his manipulation tactics....and don't expect him to be there for you.

Think long and hard about this decision.

Remember it's your choice, no one else's.

Good Luck, and I hope everything works out for you.

Posted by TaurusBull1977
I read all the previous comments, and to my astonishment, the judgmental remarks are unbearable. The OP did act responsibly. She was on the pill. There are some natural, unpredictable occurrences that even modern science can't explain.

No one has a right to make reproductive decisions for the OP----but the OP.

As for this man she's professing her love for, there was NEVER a relationship, just a long distance booty call, unbeknownst to the OP of course.

My personal opinion, if you take an adamant unwanted pregnancy + Long Distance relationship ... you have a man who is either married, engaged or committed to someone else.

The news of a pregnancy can expose a scandal.

Don't buy into his manipulation tactics....and don't expect him to be there for you.

Think long and hard about this decision.

Remember it's your choice, no one else's.

Good Luck, and I hope everything works out for you.

So condoms were out of the question?

Of course you're hoping your birth control works and shouldn't have to worry about condoms. But again, pills... just too much room for error. Same exact time daily and sometimes shit happens. It's lame. I hear more "whoops" stories when it comes to the pill than I do other forms.


But overall, yes, she needs to focus on the kid's needs as well as her own (that don't revolve around her emotional greediness). This guy sounds like a total lunatic. I know I was harsh, but Jesus fuck, what the hell is wrong with these women that come here? The guy they're here about is a total nut job asshole and she wants to know how to KEEP the guy?? *headdesk* Desperation is so pathetically sad. More women gotta stop and ask themselves why they think a guy like that is worth keeping around. They're usually clinging to the good times from ages ago that have disappeared for good. That is NOT a good reason to keep a loser around.

Thanks for everyone's responses. @rockyroad, I know you mean well, but women who fall pregnant unintentionally will always be blamed for it. I suppose I should have had an IUD and using a condom and a sponge too just for good measure, and because I didnt do that then, well, I that warrants finger pointing from the world.

@Taurus, I don't think there is another woman in the picture, although I could be very wrong. His siblings have assured me that, as far as they know, I was the only one in his life. His mother has known about me as well. His family is equally as angry and confused by his actions, which I suppose that sentiment combinedwith the countless online stories of babydaddy-freakout-comes-back-happy have kept me clinging to hope that everything will end up nice and pretty.

But, as everyone has said, he is an ass. I never expected this sort of behavior from him. He has always upheld the concept of fairness as the most important thing, so I thought, at the worst we would go our separate ways but he would want to be a part of baby's life (seems fairest). I had HOPED his initially response was just a super bad reaction out of pure fear and that he would come to terms with whats going on. But the fact that he has now been like this for awhile makes me think that even if he does come back, there is no guarantee he will stay. And if he stays, no guarantee he will be good to the child. And even if he is good to the child, no guarantee he will be good to me.

Posted by buyonegetone
Thanks for everyone's responses. @rockyroad, I know you mean well, but women who fall pregnant unintentionally will always be blamed for it.

Given your claim of taking it regularly and religiously, no I don't blame you at all. I never really did, just only under the impression that you screwed up taking it, which is what happens often in all the cases I've heard from women who had "whoops" moments. That, or were just fucking morons who never learned about the pill they were taking and whoops, antibiotics. "I DIDN'T KNOOOW."

Personally, even though I'm on birth control, I've always used condoms regardless. Shit happens and I have ZERO interest in worrying about that miniscule percentage (that, and who the hell knows where some dudes have been, you know? STDs have been on the rise like whoa). The way I see it, is if you don't see yourself pairing off with dude to have kids with, be careful always, even if it means doubling up.

In regard to asshat's response to all of it, it just speaks volumes about his maturity. Guys like him just want all the fun without the responsibility. When reality hits, they react like spoiled children who just want to avoid that responsibility. Be glad he showed you now so you can decide now.

Keep in mind, this was going on ONLY for six months. SIX MONTHS. Do you seriously think something could come of this from someone you barely know for six months?? I've had people in my life who I'd known for YEARS do a 360 on me because they hid the fact that they were really fucking psychotic. What makes you think that you can expect a lifelong commitment like this from someone who you were screwing around with LDR for a mere several months?

Can't fault you for having some sort of glimmer of hope, but you should try to focus on the reality of what's REALLY going on and if he so happens to come around, hooray, added bonus. Until then, it's just you and this kid.

PS: nail his ass to the wall for child support. I can't help but think he's bullying you to get you to go away so he doesn't have to face the problem he created for himself.