libra ex back in contact after 9yrs, Advice Please

Okay sooo let me say i meet this guy when i was at least 14 him 16 we didnt start dating until i was 16 him 18, it was a feeling i still could never explain, but anyway we dated for bout a year then it was him whom broke up with me, yeah i was heartbroken, flashing forward 9yrs later we recently meet up thru a dating site, so he proceeded to adding me to fb where we did most of our talkin he informed me how him and his kids mother went their separate ways, so i asked u know why allll this time does he wanna pop bk in my life now his reply" i been on his mind and always wondered what couldve been" granted i felt the same, so months went by we talk here and there to where it gets personal, sometimes emotional, then its like he backs off than i dont hear from him for a little while, i mean i guess my question is, other than him just wanting to see what ive got going on in my life since him,im just curious as to for libra men do you have a thing where u reconnect with an ex just to be nosey or is it those whom are special to you that u wish to reconnect with, also would u be willing to start a relationship with an ex even some 9yrs later, what would be the motive—?

He may have an interest based on past experience but it was a decade ago and you were kids. Maybe he just wanted to check in and say hi. If he backs off when the conversation gets personal or emotional, he isn't interested in anything too serious.

I've held fantasies before of "what might have been". Usually it's pure fantasy though. This might sting but I ain't trying to be mean... maybe a few conversations snapped him out of the fantasy and that's why he wandered off. He walked off leaving you shocked and confused before, maybe he remembered why.

Posted by LibraSid
I've held fantasies before of "what might have been". Usually it's pure fantasy though. This might sting but I ain't trying to be mean... maybe a few conversations snapped him out of the fantasy and that's why he wandered off. He walked off leaving you shocked and confused before, maybe he remembered why.

Yea i feel what you're saying, thats why ive just pretty much just left it just that, the past. Thanks for your input by the way_??

Posted by tiziani
So far I've reconnected with one ex and it was short-lived. I can't remember what my motivation was, it was ages ago.

I'm all in favour of starting a new relationship with anyone who's time I enjoy, including an ex. I've never done it, but I don't see anything wrong with it as long as both people are capable of treating each other for who they are here and now.

If the personal and emotional things were just reliving things from 9 years back I would most likely stop talking, too. I personally have yet to meet anyone where I enjoy taking a trip down memory lane. Most of the time it can be a drag, frankly. You feel weighed down by it.

Everyone has fantasised about the "making it work with the long lost love" scenario like Sid said, but in reality it's a drag if the past can't stay firmly in the past.

Yes you are correct also, i cant lie it was one of those things where "what couldve been" but like sid said also while talkin it reminded us both why its better off left as that. Thanks for the advice_??

Haha. Dude's full of shit. He's feeling lonely and hitting up the ex pool.

I highly doubt he's looking for anything significant- just validation for any feelings he's coping with in regard to his break up with the ex. When someone comes sniffing around after a break up, you really can't take them seriously. They're basically reacting to the emotions that occur during the "mourning" phase of it all.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Haha. Dude's full of shit. He's feeling lonely and hitting up the ex pool.

I highly doubt he's looking for anything significant- just validation for any feelings he's coping with in regard to his break up with the ex. When someone comes sniffing around after a break up, you really can't take them seriously. They're basically reacting to the emotions that occur during the "mourning" phase of it all.

Well said _— thanks

I know others have heard my stories, but I'm going to share it again-

Former crush from high school got back in touch like 5-6 years later or so. It was revealed we had mutual crushes and that guy was attempting to chase me like no other. I didn't know wtf to think because it had been so long. He was on a mission to settle down and I was the first one in his sights, wanting to chase high school feelings.

Then he disappeared.

Turns out, he met his (now) wife and I barely heard from him after that. Glad he found someone who was on the same life track he was (ready to settle down, highly religious, etc. SO not me, btw) but it was a bit annoying because he made me feel like some implusive whim. It's like wow, self serving much? Libra guys are so damned fickle with this stuff sometimes. Some come back around after being broken up with because THEY feel that things aren't finished and want to ruin the last shred of hope by "trying again." I've yet to hear of a situation like this turn out to be a long term thing. With yours, since he did the breaking up, who knows wtf his motivation is. I really doubt it's as genuine as he thinks.

I know there's things like timing and being in the "right" place in life, but I don't think it's as common as the former scenario of chasing after "what ifs." They get a bit delusional because some are a bit too obsessed with the IDEA of love and romance. Doesn't mean they'll live up to the expectations that they have of others.

Its in the air wondering about exes... Even fucking dreamt about one .. Maybe its just pondering of how far i have gone through with all the crazy years that has been happening. libra got whipped by uranus last year This year is quiet time and its too quiet that ive been asking myself "now what?" .... Maybe your ex just wants to fix everything that happened in his past because that may have been the only thing thats not perfect... Its like a wrinkle in a newly pressed shirt you need to smooth it out or it will ruin everything.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I know others have heard my stories, but I'm going to share it again-

Former crush from high school got back in touch like 5-6 years later or so. It was revealed we had mutual crushes and that guy was attempting to chase me like no other. I didn't know wtf to think because it had been so long. He was on a mission to settle down and I was the first one in his sights, wanting to chase high school feelings.

Then he disappeared.

Turns out, he met his (now) wife and I barely heard from him after that. Glad he found someone who was on the same life track he was (ready to settle down, highly religious, etc. SO not me, btw) but it was a bit annoying because he made me feel like some implusive whim. It's like wow, self serving much? Libra guys are so damned fickle with this stuff sometimes. Some come back around after being broken up with because THEY feel that things aren't finished and want to ruin the last shred of hope by "trying again." I've yet to hear of a situation like this turn out to be a long term thing. With yours, since he did the breaking up, who knows wtf his motivation is. I really doubt it's as genuine as he thinks.

I know there's things like timing and being in the "right" place in life, but I don't think it's as common as the former scenario of chasing after "what ifs." They get a bit delusional because some are a bit too obsessed with the IDEA of love and romance. Doesn't mean they'll live up to the expectations that they have of others.

Sorry so late posting back but you are sooo right, like now he seems to be just doing his disappearing act pops up every now again asking questions like this one incident after i left from a male friends house he later texted me askin what i did today and when i answered long the lines of "just chilled" his reply was them facts didnt add up lol pretty much as if he was watchin me and knew for a fact i wasnt or hadnt done what i told him rather..lol nw whn i think about it it was as if i was explaining myself to my bf or some like why am i arguing with him when we're not even on so much as a FWB status or w.e

Posted by libra08
Its in the air wondering about exes... Even fucking dreamt about one .. Maybe its just pondering of how far i have gone through with all the crazy years that has been happening. libra got whipped by uranus last year This year is quiet time and its too quiet that ive been asking myself "now what?" .... Maybe your ex just wants to fix everything that happened in his past because that may have been the only thing thats not perfect... Its like a wrinkle in a newly pressed shirt you need to smooth it out or it will ruin everything.

Hmmm i didnt think of it that way, thats just odd tho for someone to be holdin that in alll these years like i wouldnt like thinking i had that much of a negative aspect on his past