Libra man problems urgent please help—!!!!

Im a Gemini girl, typical Gemini, i used to lie and cheat and deceive and fuck around for many years because i was insecure and messed up, I have never truly loved anyone until I met this Libra guy. He is sweetest, he is everything I have ever wanted in a person. We met when I went back to my home country to visit my family, I was healing after a mental breakdown, so I kept everything light hearted, he was numb for a long time, he told me later he hasnt fell in love with anyone for 7 years since his first sweet heart highschool gf.

We hung out for 3 weeks with no expectations or promises. We fit like a jigsaw. But then the day I had to leave to go back to where I live came, we were so drunk and we poured our hearts out. He confessed his love and feelings for me. And i said i love him back. He then promised he would come visit me (i live in his home country, i know, we are in a very strange situation).

Basically we spent 3 months away from each other with him and me, not promising anything, but we didnt date anyone else or fuck around. Thats how much I love him and he loves me.

We spent a month together and then separated again. But this time I think distance has caught up with us. The truth is Im going back to see him for 4 weeks, and we had a fight few days ago. I blew, he blew. It wasnt okay. I said lets give us a oneweek break and when we see each other we figure it out. He ignored me.

The day after I texted him, saying “it hurts so much”, cause i couldnt stand the thought of us broken up, he said “its ok im here”, we talked, and he said “i will always love you and want you, but I cant be responsible for your happiness, you are beautiful and kind and you make my heart feel full, i only want days of laughter and silly chats, Im not the man to give you the promises I made, at least not now. Im just dialing it back, cause its been really intense”

I am very cautious when i first met him cause i got hurt many times before so I try to avoid getting myself into situations i know i can get hurt. Whenever he makes promises i make sure he thinks thoroughly and i expect him to keep it, cause i keep mine. And he said so himself, he still want to do all the promises, but he is not ready yet.

And then I asked him what does he want to happen now, he said, just come here with me, be around each other. So Im still coming to see him (?) while not knowing where we stand right now.

And then he stopped initiating conversations, i texted him saying stupid stuff to lighten his mood but he just ignored me.

I dont know what to do. Right now this is a lot for me to bear. I feel like my chests are gonna explode any moment. I know he needs space right now, so I repressed my pains to give him the space to think and consider his emotions. But I cant stop thinking about when im back with him, everything might fall apart, and i will be hurt terribly. I dont want to come back to see him if hes gonna break it up with me anyway, but now if I ask, he will think Im being negative and not giving him time. So here I am, writing this, looking for help. Just something as some peace of mind. I know its a long story but im really grateful that you read it. Thank you.

Note :

He promised he wouldnt break my heart

Also promised to come back on my bday (like moving back for good)

And he promised he wouldnt break up with me



It took him a fairly long time to say those out loud and i never pushed him into saying anything he doesnt want, or pressuring him ever so i always felt safe thinking hes serious and committed

But now hes taking all the promises back while still saying He will always love me, iam just lost. Dont know what to do. Or to say. Im seeing him in 4 days ;( i feel like if i dont prepare myself for whats gonna happen (bad things) i will be broken for good. And it terrifies me.

The fight was THAT bad and he ran.

Tell me Gem, when you said "you blew" what exactly did you say to him?

honestly, don't believe a libra says until it happens. for me it's a case of i'll believe it when i see it. until then, it's just lovely talk and talk is cheap.

you'd be foolish to let you get yourself carried away with anything at this point.

Posted by Dolluxxe
The fight was THAT bad and he ran.

Tell me Gem, when you said "you blew" what exactly did you say to him?

I said “closer to the day i feel like you are further away from me”, “im not sure if i still want to get on the plane next monday and see you because of how i feel”, and “maybe we should take this one week as a break and calm ourselves down”.

It was little arguments adding up day by day the past 2 weeks, before that everything was good and we were patient to each other. I honestly think the distance has caught up with both of us. But im not sure what he thinks.

I have matured from previous relationships so Im trying to get this as right as i could. But LDR is hard and we tried and succeeded so far but now were kinda falling out.

Posted by jeane
honestly, don't believe a libra says until it happens. for me it's a case of i'll believe it when i see it. until then, it's just lovely talk and talk is cheap.

you'd be foolish to let you get yourself carried away with anything at this point.

Weve been together for 7 months, i mean its probs not a long time. But both of ur are quite mature and the idea of LDR sounded super ridiculous at first. It took us 3 months (we didnt evn get to be together) to finally commit. I genuinely think he is serious...

Weve come a long way and falling in love with someone on the other side of the world is painful. Im just not ready to give up just yet but he is full of conflicts now and i cant read him at all.

Update:

So I took the risk and asked him if he still wants to move back to the uk with me, (hes in asia now),

He said hes coming back but not sure when. (So hes not coming back for my birthday as he said he would).

I was really exhausted and this thing going on between us is beyond confusing. So i kinda just moved on with my life and stopped talking to him. Then he texted me and said it looks like ive calm down and relaxed now, (few days ago when i posted this topic i was a mess), he started initiating conversations and hes back to what he was like before. I asked him to please let me go if he cant love me the way he promised me, cause i dont want to be in this no-man land where he doesnt let me go but also isnt ready to be the man he promised to be. He said yes, but he also said he will never stop loving me.. HOW MUCH MORE CONFUSING CAN HE BE? - i thought out loud.



Now were kinda back to normal except from the fact that Im kinda withdrawing myself a bit (cause i dont want to risk getting hurt again). Hes desperate to see me in 2 days 🙂 but were not sure whats gonna happen. We both confessed were scared of the future now. But also very excited.



I still dont know what to do and still am in the dark. I think it would clear my head when i see him again in person but if it doesnt, what should i do?

Should I keep withdrawing myself and prepare myself that this is the last time ill be with him ever? Or should I just go with the flow? Or should I just end it now and not see him anymore? I dont know whats on his mind, but he keeps telling me please trust his love for me? But honestly after he took the promises back now i dont find his words mean much to me anymore.



Still though I love him. But Im a Gemini and once ive done the withdrawing process Im gone for good emotionally and mentally... i really want him to be the last person I love.. any libra please give me some advice!! Xxx



Thank you guys so muchxx

Posted by Dolluxxe
The fight was THAT bad and he ran.

Tell me Gem, when you said "you blew" what exactly did you say to him?

Like jeane said, a Libra wouldn't be the best person for an LDR. If I were you I wouldn't hop on the plane to see him. Leave it be.

Posted by Dolluxxe

Posted by Dolluxxe
The fight was THAT bad and he ran.

Tell me Gem, when you said "you blew" what exactly did you say to him?

Like jeane said, a Libra wouldn't be the best person for an LDR. If I were you I wouldn't hop on the plane to see him. Leave it be.

click to expand

No i booked the ticket months ago, its also where im from so im basically back to see my friends and family as well.

I said i dont think its a good idea to come back and see someone who doesnt even know what he wants, i dont want to get hurt. He talked and convinced and talked and convinced me to come back.

So itd be a waste if im not going. But im not sure about seeing him when im back there. Eventhough i told him to stop saying sweet words and esp the 3 words i love you, he kept saying it, and begged me to believe his love no matter whats gonna happen between us. I didnt say anything back except from “ok” but my heart is just weaaaaakkkk lol

So i dont know now, my heart says go see him but my brain says im gna get hurt lol

Meanwhile hes back to who he was before this long intense stress between us, and hes awesome.

I dont know if at some point my depression came in between us. He didnt say anything about it. But not sure



Im his 2nd gf and the first one was 7 years ago so i really hope hes in this relationship because he actually loves me

Posted by bluebird235

Posted by jeane
honestly, don't believe a libra says until it happens. for me it's a case of i'll believe it when i see it. until then, it's just lovely talk and talk is cheap.

you'd be foolish to let you get yourself carried away with anything at this point.

Weve been together for 7 months, i mean its probs not a long time. But both of ur are quite mature and the idea of LDR sounded super ridiculous at first. It took us 3 months (we didnt evn get to be together) to finally commit. I genuinely think he is serious...

Weve come a long way and falling in love with someone on the other side of the world is painful. Im just not ready to give up just yet but he is full of conflicts now and i cant read him at all.

click to expand

7 months isn't a long time. i was still unsure about my partner a year in to our non-ldr. plus 6 months is always a tricky stage in a relationship. everyone sort of hits a wall there.

he probably does love you but if he can't give you what you want then what good is that love? if you're happy to wait in limbo on a promise that someday you might get what you want then go for it. personally, i wouldn't. men will move mountains and grab the moon out of the sky for the women they love and it seems like this guy is not doing that for you.

but yes, go see him. get a measure of the situation and decide if this up and down, push and pull, emotional roller coaster is something you want to continue for time being. i get the feeling that it is. sometimes we need to have the experience.