need help understanding my libra guy

My libra bf and I had been together for 2 yrs he is 10 years younger than me (im 38 hes 28)and from the beginning his parents harassed me for dating him because of the age difference but we fell so in love and soon moved in together. His parents continued to cause problems, I was never included in any of his family events and was not accepted by his friends because of the problems it caused his family, but I accepted it all because I loved him dearly. As time went on the problems with his parents took its toll on our relationship and we began arguing almost on a daily basis. Things got bad and his dad physically forced him to move out last October.
Every day since that happened he begged me to hold on that he would work things out with his parents and we would work our problems out as well.
A few weeks ago I picked him up to take him to the store and his parents saw us and his mother verbally and physically threatened me even told me she would kill me if I didn't stay away from her son, my bf cried and apologized and said he loved me with all his heart and would straighten things out that he didn't wanna lose me.
Then over a week ago out of the blue he broke up with me, he said he cant be with me, he seems cold no tears or sadness in his voice. He went days not texting or calling, then when he did text it was to tell me that he was gonna look for another to date or maybe just hook up. This is totally out of character from him, he was never into 1 night stands and just moving on so suddenly. He went the past 3 days no texts from him and he told me to never contact him again so I didn't, then this morning he texted to tell me he saw me yesterday, I replied and he just told me to let him go and not contact him anymore again. I respected what he wanted and didn't contact him and only replied becaused he texted me, then he started hinting at he was going on a date tonight or tomorrow night, telling me that he loved me but I had to be strong and move on and that hes doing whats best for him and he told me if I ever got a future urge to text or call him he would have to get a restraining order. Im respecting what he wants, I don't contact him at all but he has me so confused..why does he contact me just to tell me he's going to date someone else then when I reply he pushes me away again and threatens me? He sees how much its hurting me but doesn't seem to care. This isn't like him at all. What do you all make of this? Is he playing games, why is he sudden

Why is he suddenly acting so cold?

can't understand the push and pull? nothing makes sense? welcome to his internal dialogue.

No he is no longer dependant on them but still lives with them. He is an only child and was pretty much expected to walk a tight line with his parents much of his life. He never lived out on his own except with me. His mother and him were very close and I assume still are despite all the tension our relationship caused. His parents thought the age difference was a terrible thing, they said he needed someone his own age to really live life the way he was meant to. They harassed us daily beating on our door screaming, even tried to have us evicted so he would have to move back in with them. My bf finally ended that by calling the cops and ending contact with them for 3 wks, however once he initiated contact they started their antics and bullying all over again. His mother spent months trying to convince him I was cheating on him, we had so much turmoil because of them. I think in ways hes afraid to stand up to them his dad can get violent and even had me put in jail once, and his mother can be violent also. They do anything and everything they have to to keep us from even seeing one another. I don't think he really wants to break up but feels he has no alternative. I think he wants to avoid all the hardship we endured before by them.

I am heartbroken beyond anything, I don't wanna lose him, but I have no clue where the answer lies. This whole situation is totally in his hands and he has to be the one to correct it and make the call. It hurts to know hes seeing other girls and just dropped me like I was nothing.

I agree I don't think hes as mature as he should be, he seems to let his parents run his life. Heck they wont even let him leave the house unless they know who he is with and sure he is not with me. He needs to stand up to them but wont do it.

Hes been telling me recently im not worth it and accusing me of cheating. Just a few wks ago he couldn't live without me and said he would always be there no matter what. Now days go by and I hear nothing from him and when I do hes so cold and unloving. Hes heard me break down on the phone and cry but he remained unemotional, I just don't get it, how do u not shed even a single tear when u break it off with someone u claimed to love so deeply just a few wks prior? We were always so close and so deeply in love despite tensions from his parents, sparks flew the very second we laid eyes on one another and we could never stand to be apart, his behavior now is tearing me to pieces.

I am sorry for you and I tell you this happened for me too once. After met some of his friends , they did not agreed with me and him probably, and later I found out that "friends" in fact was some family members , as the customs are in Asia, first they introduce you to some relatives and they say they are his friends . He always told me to be strong then, he disappeared for long time, then back and so on. Libra are easy influenced . What I want to tell you is, if he really would loves you, he would be with you, no matter what, BUT if he is Asian ( your story is similar to Asian story) , then he must follow his parents wish and what they say, no matter how much he would love you. This is a very sad thing for someone who is not Asian, but treated like this by an Asian . Everything you want to do, he will can't change this because he can't change tradition and family rules. He may loves you, but not 100% . This kind of men never love 100% and they are ready every time to give up you just for their peace. You don't deserving this treatment, no matter what the reasons are. He is not a fighter ! Libra men are never fighter and are easy influenced by friends or family.
And his last actions, show that he really don't care about you, and your sufferance if he told you he go with ONS girl and things like this. I think he took to you very cold also , nothing as before. If he really care , he would just move on without to show to you he is dating other girls. Please move on and let him go, later he will regret you, but you deserving a man who can show you to everyone, who can treat you nice and everybody round him to welcome you !

Posted by 19virgo76
No he is no longer dependant on them but still lives with them. He is an only child and was pretty much expected to walk a tight line with his parents much of his life. He never lived out on his own except with me. His mother and him were very close and I assume still are despite all the tension our relationship caused. His parents thought the age difference was a terrible thing, they said he needed someone his own age to really live life the way he was meant to. They harassed us daily beating on our door screaming, even tried to have us evicted so he would have to move back in with them. My bf finally ended that by calling the cops and ending contact with them for 3 wks, however once he initiated contact they started their antics and bullying all over again. His mother spent months trying to convince him I was cheating on him, we had so much turmoil because of them. I think in ways hes afraid to stand up to them his dad can get violent and even had me put in jail once, and his mother can be violent also. They do anything and everything they have to to keep us from even seeing one another. I don't think he really wants to break up but feels he has no alternative. I think he wants to avoid all the hardship we endured before by them.

I am heartbroken beyond anything, I don't wanna lose him, but I have no clue where the answer lies. This whole situation is totally in his hands and he has to be the one to correct it and make the call. It hurts to know hes seeing other girls and just dropped me like I was nothing.

Yes, please confirm to me if he is Asian and I can tell you lots of things about this way and culture. I am living in Asia since 10 years.
Everything he did , he only wanted to show to you that he is fighting, he is trying, but if he really fighting, he would be with you now, remember ! No matter the reason was, parents, friends, jobs, this all are only reasons in the front of love. But Asian don't put love first.
Passing a similar story as yours, I was unable to contact my own family for about 8 months, due to the sufferance this story gave to me and I did not wanted share it with anyone . I did not wanted make my family cry and sad . If you need someone talk with you and support you pass this moment from your life, you can contact me and I will send to you my yahoo id. Do not be sad. I can feel what you feel and I am rea

really sorry for your time , but I pray for you things will get better in your life .

Delia no he is not Asian, just an only child and his parents pride and joy.

His mother once told me she never liked any of his past gf's, and the longest relationship he ever had only lasted 2 months, it makes me wonder why..was it because of his parents or because of him.

I heard from him last night at 3am, he called after having just left a bar with his friends, he was trashed and asked why I sounded sad and then told me he had fun and told me to come f*ck him. I told him I didn't want to be used for sex and especially not after he was out looking for other girls to hook up with. He said he realized he missed me, I wish that were true but I believe it was just the liquor talking and he just wanted a booty call. My heart broke a little more after that phone call last night, I tried talking to him abt things but he passd out and fell asleep on the phone, I got so upset and not being able to take anymore pain I changed my number, this morning when I woke up I felt I acted prematurely so I texted him numerous texts explaining how he had hurt me so badly and that I love him deeply and cant take anymore of what he is doing. He simply replied "whatever."

Idk what to do, I told him goodbye and that I love him but he has changed so much and I don't recognize the guy he has become. Do you think he meant what he said abt realizing he misses me, or was it just the liquor? All he wants to do now is drink and go to bars, he was never like this before. He started hanging around buddies that make a game of "pulling pussy" as they call it. He has changed so much. But how does a person change so drastically just over a 2 week period of time?

Its like I mean nothing to him now, hes being so selfish and cold, doesn't he understand how much he is hurting me? Where do I go from here, what do I do, I said goodbye to him but its not really want I want, but at the same time I cannot handle the pain he is putting me through. Any advice anyone? I feel like the only thing I can do is let him go. I wonder if he means it abt wanting to hook up with other girls, is this some phase hes going through?.. I just dont get it. Ive been wracking my brain trying to figure out what hes going through but hes cold and distant and wont talk except to tell me hes going out or looking for someone else. He is acting so reckless and irresponsible. I just cant understand why.

Posted by 19virgo76

Idk what to do, I told him goodbye and that I love him but he has changed so much and I don't recognize the guy he has become. Do you think he meant what he said abt realizing he misses me, or was it just the liquor? All he wants to do now is drink and go to bars, he was never like this before. He started hanging around buddies that make a game of "pulling pussy" as they call it. He has changed so much. But how does a person change so drastically just over a 2 week period of time?

Its like I mean nothing to him now, hes being so selfish and cold, doesn't he understand how much he is hurting me? Where do I go from here, what do I do, I said goodbye to him but its not really want I want, but at the same time I cannot handle the pain he is putting me through. Any advice anyone? I feel like the only thing I can do is let him go. I wonder if he means it abt wanting to hook up with other girls, is this some phase hes going through?.. I just dont get it. Ive been wracking my brain trying to figure out what hes going through but hes cold and distant and wont talk except to tell me hes going out or looking for someone else. He is acting so reckless and irresponsible. I just cant understand why.

this all sounds like he is upset and is trying to negate his feelings. to me it looks like he is trying to sever his feelings for you by being reckless and distant. it's not what he feels but he is trying to move on the best way he knows how; drinking with his mates and getting laid by random people.

it's up to you if you want to hang on and wait for him to work through his emotions and thinking.

Thanks for the help and support everyone.

I heard from him again and he said it was just the booze talking last night that he didn't mean anything he said, he doesn't want to be with me, we're done, and hes going out again tonight. I tried one last time to express my feelings to him and he shut me out completely told me to leave him alone or he would go to police if I ever decided to text him.

I told him I just wanted to understand what it is hes going through and help him if I can, I explained that if he still loved me one night stands and drinking wont change what he feels in his heart and will only leave him feeling empty in the end.

He pretty much ignored everything I said to him I've tried everything I know to do, I love him but maybe the best thing is to set him free for the sake of both of us. I know I cannot take anymore mentally or emotionally, as I am drained and shattered. And I only seem to be making things worse the harder I try.

I agree that if he really did want to be with me he would find a way, and if he ever did come back after this "phase" or him trying to "negate his feelings" I don't know if I could ever forgive him for sleeping around and the coldness he has shown me.

Theres so much I don't understand, yet he holds all the answers and wont answer or explain much. I wanna hang on so bad but just don't know if its the right thing to do and if I have the strength to go through everything hes doing.

Every day im a bundle of nerves wondering whats coming next, how will he hurt me today. Its difficult when he never done anything before to ever hurt me, this is a side of him I've never experienced and don't like at all. I love him so much, so very much. But if he truly wanted me he would find a way and not be doing this to us.

Thanks again everyone I'm gonna need all the support I can get to get over this and over him.

Just an update everyone. I found out last night my libra ex has been seeing someone and had an interest in her for months. He kept me hanging on until he was sure of his decision to be with her.

Its heartbreaking to know after 2 yrs together that I became nothing, just a back up plan.

He moved on so easily, just cut off all emotions, went completely cold towards me. My virgo mind cant stop analyzing the situation, im a bundle of emotions and hes calm happy and content.

Do libras ever come back to the one who at one time meant everything to them?