Need some advice on Libra male intentions

Hi, i am virgo woman and know libra male 3yrs. He started flirting with me a month ago n now he is full on cos he nows i like him. Says he felt somtin first time he met me but i dont even remember first time we met. Says so many times he wantd to tell me but shy, so many times he wantd to just grab me - can't believe i didnt see any signs of this at all. Since his very sudden declarations (which have only been by txt) he has txt me almost every day, somtimes 3,4,8 times a day but we not seen each other since as he is away. But he b bak soon n i really like him but he is married (20yrs)and has suggestd we get to no each other beta before we do anything daft. Also says he not done this before. Seems so full on but is he for real or just want a fling. Can any libra men out there give me some advice, please?

I couldn't really understand what you said, but I saw what amethyst2002 said and I'm going to go with that.

i no ino, he is married and i told him that is my only problem with this whole situation. So then told me lets just get to know each other beta and if we both still feel this way then we can take it from there - obviously nothing physical. I told him i will not be someones bit on the side, i am single and not prepared to be his 2nd choice. I havn't seen him flirtin with other women and didn't pick up on his feelings for me so is it he because he is really shy, but then to be so completely open with me? I don't understand this guy and really would like to know if he is genuine or just can't help himself ? Maybe he is a serial cheater and this is all too familiar to him, but his personality that i know has only ever shown a really, really nice guy? Did i get him all wrong?

Have some self-respect and walk away.

Posted by amethyst2002
...he's married? What more is there to know?

This.

If you like him - go meet him, when you see him in person you would get a much better impression of what intentions he really has.

this thread touches the darker side of humans so closely. Can a guy keep being happily monogamous after 20 yrs of marriage? Yes. How many of them? around .. 25% ? Out of those, how many are really happy and how many are just resigned to the reality of no sex but they're too afraid to walk away?

Pls keep in mind, there's astrosigns to which a wedding ring on someone else's ring on the finger doesn't mean anything (ex. Virgo). There's signs (Aries, Scorp) who think they own their partner once they have them. Aries won't usually go after someone else's spouse. And there are signs who keep looking for that perfect partner. A Libra, married or not, will look as long as it takes untill they find that someone.

There's obviously something you have that the Libra is after. I suggest you assume it's the booty and act extremely cautiously. Maybe he IS unhappy and wants out; is it with you, though?? If you do decide to pursue this pls believe me you'll have alot to suffer. If Libra decides you're not the one he will run back into the marriage, you'll end up angry and upset etc. You end up feeling betrayed although you're not even the wife, society makes it that you're the negative character in the story, short, not a very good mix of feelings to have. Better not go there ..

Posted by LisaLeo
this thread touches the darker side of humans so closely. Can a guy keep being happily monogamous after 20 yrs of marriage? Yes. How many of them? around .. 25% ? Out of those, how many are really happy and how many are just resigned to the reality of no sex but they're too afraid to walk away?

Pls keep in mind, there's astrosigns to which a wedding ring on someone else's ring on the finger doesn't mean anything (ex. Virgo). There's signs (Aries, Scorp) who think they own their partner once they have them. Aries won't usually go after someone else's spouse. And there are signs who keep looking for that perfect partner. A Libra, married or not, will look as long as it takes untill they find that someone.

There's obviously something you have that the Libra is after. I suggest you assume it's the booty and act extremely cautiously. Maybe he IS unhappy and wants out; is it with you, though?? If you do decide to pursue this pls believe me you'll have alot to suffer. If Libra decides you're not the one he will run back into the marriage, you'll end up angry and upset etc. You end up feeling betrayed although you're not even the wife, society makes it that you're the negative character in the story, short, not a very good mix of feelings to have. Better not go there ..

Damn am speechless.......very good advise....miracles do happen. Listen virgo lady!!
This advise tick all the boxes.

The question isn't about if men can be happily monogamous after 20 years... no one says he has to stay with his wife if he wants out. The problem is that he is married right now. If he wants out he can leave. Cheating is never acceptable.

Also, as to the comments that society makes cheaters the negative character... hogwash!

The cheater shows their negative character by cheating! Relationships have rules. Follow the rules or don't play the game. Let's play tic-tac-toe, I get the first three moves...

This isn't a question about Libra men or Virgo women or Scorpio whatevers, it is about personal integrity.

Posted by LibraSid
The question isn't about if men can be happily monogamous after 20 years... no one says he has to stay with his wife if he wants out. The problem is that he is married right now. If he wants out he can leave. Cheating is never acceptable.

Also, as to the comments that society makes cheaters the negative character... hogwash!

The cheater shows their negative character by cheating! Relationships have rules. Follow the rules or don't play the game. Let's play tic-tac-toe, I get the first three moves...

This isn't a question about Libra men or Virgo women or Scorpio whatevers, it is about personal integrity.

oh, theoretically? it's exactly what you say, LibraSid. still, the Libras I've known, males and females, will cheat if unhappy in their marriages. it's just that to them it's called ''quest for the perfect partner''; they need a good partnership, can't help themselves but look for one. it's so pointless to judge, just don't get caught up in a game too complicated for you because they DO have the abilities to charm you and you end up suffering.

character? they say a Libra is capable of using whichever morals they suit them, adapt morals to the given situation in order to fit their own needs.
this is in no way meant to be offensive to the Libras hosts of this board. every sign looks for happiness and defends itself the way they can. others can judge, criticise, but nobody lives our own lives. my perception about this true justice is a bit more pessimistic, but anyways, this is an excellent debate.

I know that people of all signs cheat. Libras have a bad reputation for it because we do search for perfection and we do flirt and charm naturally. However, it is still an issue of the individuals integrity. To me it has nothing to do with theory either. This is my life, I make my choices.

One of the things I was taught at a young age and still live by is, "No one can take your integrity, it is yours to keep, make sure you do". There are very few things in life we can truly call our own. Integrity is one of these few things. So much else can be given or taken away by someone else. You can build a mansion and it can be burned down. You can make a fortune and lose it in a stock collapse. The only way I can lose my integrity is if I give it away.

These are the things you control.
Integrity - like I said, it's mine to lose no one can take it.
Memories - You will keep these forever, be sure you like the ones you are making.
Dreams - These can be shared but no one has the power to take them.

My morals do not change based on situation. I have a strong sense of right and wrong. I do not make promises that I cannot or do not intend to keep.

Sorry if I come off preachy or hostile, it is not my intent. I enjoy a good debate too.

This is one area that I feel very passionately about.

Of course you do, LibraSid.. your wife cheated. So you're the flip side of this scenario.. zaffron's got a married Libra male making moves on her, presumably/likely to cheat on his wife. You're the Libra male who watched his world cave in when his wife cheated on him repeatedly. No wonder it raises your hackles!

But I agree with everything you said. Married is married is married. It's NOT single, it's NOT available. It's not honorable to cheat. Unhappily married?... so LEAVE... THEN start something with someone else. Anything less is despicable, regardless of your selfish reasoning and justifications for your poor choices/behavior that are affecting a whole bunch of people other than yourself.

I knew someone would bring up my ex. It certainly doesn't hurt the beliefs I have, but that situation did not create my beliefs either.

Oh Lordy, Sid... I didn't mean to imply that your marriage (or its failure) created your belief system! Your belief system was already in place... otherwise, it wouldn't MATTER to you how many times she cheated on you... without your belief system, it would have meant no more than the color of her eyes or how she likes to sing off-key in the shower.

I merely said the reason you get SO rankled, just straight up TRIGGERED, is because of your experiences. (Experience is EVERYONE'S emotional trigger, across the board! Without the experience, there's no Big Red Button or Code Red Switch!) And no, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Certain things deserve people to be passionate about them... and holding onto honesty and integrity is one of them. Kudos to you! I've never cheated in my life, and I never will. Some people say, "Never say never.. you can't possibly know for sure." Screw that. *I* KNOW that I would NEVER cheat on my partner. It's part of MY belief system, and unshakable. Cheating is NEVER justified, ever, ever, EVER in any situation anyone can ever come up with. Just don't do it.

Do you see what I'm saying? I ask, because this reminds me of when my Libra backs up and goes, "Whoa. Hey. Can't believe you said that." And then he repeats back what I said.. only not verbatim.. with his own twist.. the way he HEARD it, the way he TOOK it to mean. Then I realize he took what I said in a completely different way than I intended. And then we have to talk to each other openly, to find common ground, to find the WAY of expressing ourselves that reaches the other person and they understand what we were trying to say. We're getting a lot of practice at discussion.. debate.. retreat and rephrase.. acceptance and compromise.. and agreeing to disagree with no hard feelings. Cuz WOW, communication style s differ so much between my Libra and I.. I'm Pisces Sun/Mercury.. he's Libra Sun/Mercury... talk about speaking different languages! It's like living with an alien! teehee

well I don't think cheating is acceptable either. Still, the institution of marriage seems to be under constant attack in the fbook era. Just one year ago it happened to me. I actually wrote about it on dxp. Im the type of person who would never ever even considered going towards a married guy, however it happened with a Libra man while his wife was away. There was never a question of it being more than a flirt, and still we both got hurt really badly. His marriage is not the same (decided to tell the wife about it) and I suffered terribly. The relevancy of me mentioning these is to ''never say never'', think before you act, don't drink before you drive 🙂) etc. Consequences are not the same for the parties involved, but the suffering is there, so avoid going there while you still can.
LibraSid its only normal you react this way, and you're right. I'm simply trying to detach and debate

Sorry if I came across wrong I wasn't offended by what you said at all and I didn't take your mentioning my ex as an attack. I have seen your posts before and you seem to be a good person. I just wanted to through out there that those experiences are not what created beliefs. We are on the same page.

I was actually thinking about this while I drove home just now and was going to clarify but you summed it up nicely. My beliefs are what caused these experiences to be as painful as they were. It wasn't just that my ex cheated, it's that a person I held in such high esteem showed me a side of them I didn't think existed.

I also agree, I will say never in this case. I have never cheated and never will. I have had the opportunity and an occasional desire. The hard times are when your convictions and beliefs get put to the test. These are the times when you need to slow down before you act and consider the impact of your decisions.


I try not to twist things that people say to me but I have been accused of it before. It usually stems from hearing a comment, seeing several possible directions they could be going and defending the wrong one. When I said "I knew someone would bring up my ex", it wasn't said with a sigh or any disgust. Just that I have thought about it and figured it would come up.

We haven't had any physical contact whatsoeva. He has given the impression it is more than a fling, i.e. he will sort his situation out.
I guess from that though you can read he is not willing to leave a marriage he is possibly not happy in unless he has someone else to move on to?
I would like to know him beta but dont want to be the other woman either. Yes he should have ended his relationship if hes not happy not because he met me and so on....but given all i have read about libra men being serial cheaters n all could it also be he will stay married rather than be alone or upset his wife?

zaffron, as gently as possible.. you need to be realistic about this. You did not come here, asking about a divorced man, or even a man in the middle of a divorce. He's married. Until his situation is sorted out, you DON'T have a place in his life. And kindly don't try to play me for a fool and insist you guys can be "friends" so you can help and support him during his difficult decision to end his marriage. You and I both know this isn't about friendship. If it was, you wouldn't be here making this post -- you'd be busy being his friend, because there would be no attraction or romantic feelings involved. And NO, an honorable MAN (not a boy) does NOT need someone to move on to BEFORE ending his current situation. That's cowardice of the lowest order. And you thinking that tells me so much about your own lack of self-esteem and inner strength.

He's flirting with and trying to "get to know" a woman outside of his marriage. Even if you don't consider it "cheating" yet because it's not gone physical.. you admit it's "pre-cheating" (for lack of a better word.) So let's say he gets to know you.. you're amazing, he falls in love with you, finally "gets the balls" to leave his "unhappy marriage" for you. It's you and him for.. let's say.. oh, 20 years. Then he's realizing he's no longer "happy"... he's not willing to work on his relationship with you, or he's just given up... he meets another amazing woman.. she makes him feel alive again... history repeats itself, because the precedence is already set. He KNOWS that he is able to leave even a 20 year marriage for someone new. A woman with high value and self-respect would not get herself involved in this. No matter how attracted she may be to a guy, once she finds out he's married and therefore UNAVAILABLE, the attraction diminishes and disappears. A secure woman knows she deserves better than a man who cheats and sneaks around.

So let me ask you.. realistically.. woman to woman... What do you have that makes you think you're better (or better for/with him) than she is? What do YOU have that could hold him, if he were willing to walk away from 20 years? Especially if he has kids. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. When something newer and shinier comes along, YOU will become HER.

Don't do this to yourself. 😢

20 yrs is a long time. yes, he could find someone else who makes him feel alive again and yes, you could, too. Nobody has life warranty around here. Love is not forever, go read about eros philia and agape http://www.iep.utm.edu/love/. The evolving of eros into agape in itself doesn't make it hurtful, the lack of human spine does. The greed and the hidden means we employ to have our cake and eat it, too.
Nefer, realistically? She might be 20 yrs younger, she might be smarter, she might be better. I find that being irrelevant. Pavarotti the opera singer (a Libra) cheated on his wife and ended up marrying the secretary, some 30 yrs younger. Some marriages, even the ones that seem happy, die. After 40 yrs of being together, like Al Gore and his wife (Mars transits grrr). You've simply outgrown your parner or the other way around or the story was told. Scary thought for a married person, however it does happen with a greater probability if the two of them are socially and financially secure. From what I noticed, when guys are really successful maintaining one marriage in one life is hard even for the most compatible ppl. Some golfer's wife talked about the pressure of having a lineup of ''perfect'' girls club hunting the best golfers.

"Nefer, realistically? She might be 20 yrs younger, she might be smarter, she might be better. I find that being irrelevant."

So do I. That's my point. It's irrelevant. No matter how wonderful she is, or how blissful her relationship with him... if it started out with him sneaking around on his wife, then she's a fool to ever trust him, and a fool to believe that she can offer anything to hold him. History tends to repeat itself with guys like him, because there is a sort of failing in them, a breakage, a disconnect. Remember, we aren't talking about a divorced man here. Not even divorcing or separated. We're talking about a cheater. There is a distinction.

But you keep talking about how love is not forever, and how marriages die, Lisa Leo, and how it's no one's fault sometimes, how they grow apart. Keep talking about famous people who end their marriages and live out the rest of their days with their new love. zaffron will latch onto your words (she's looking for permission here, for support and validation.. for someone to agree with her that she should "follow her heart" and start up with this very troubled man because he could be the love of her life!) because she KNOWS deep down, that this man even trying to "get to know" her outside of his marriage is wronging his wife, and wronging zaffron. If she did not feel it is WRONG, again, she would not BE here, putting this out for our interpretation!

^ beautiful Nefer. loved every bit of that...

Okay, I know this is an astrology forum but astrology aside for a second and think logically zaffron, there is no excuse for you taking this dude seriously or asking about intentions. It is really not complicated, majority of the people here keep coming back to say the same thing over and over...

Coming back to the astrology POV, the libras on the board LibraSid, TasteOfChaos... have spoken. They are Libras.
Also, no sign wins the vote for serial cheating.

There are usually several ppl responsible when cheating occurs but the most blame lies on the people that make it easy for cheaters to cheat IMO.
If you know they are committed elsewhere, with jobs, other partners, religion, why get tangled up? It gets you absolutely nothing but heartache.


Libras are charming, attractive, communicators but do not forget they are CARDINAL LEADERSHIP signs, not helpless 🙂 the charming just covers up the steel, dont fall for it please.

LisaLeo and Nefer, fink you have given the best advice because you have explained in more detail what i think i was avoiding and already know. I know it is wrong. I have spent some time considering the effects of this situation - needing to analise and make sense of it all. I know that i would always be seen as the scarlet woman, different scenarios but always same result - negative.
On reflection i can see i WAS looking for permission, support and validation as you pointed out Nefer, i was looking for something positive about my situation - ridiculous i know. I have been sick with worrying about this, my head has been all over the place - perhaps because i was fighting with what i know i should do?
Nefer, you are so good - i have read your comments again and again, and since i have given in to contemplating that maybe this is not the way to go i have felt so much better, in control, comfortable, my stomach is not all notted up - you gave some very good advice and not only what i needed to hear but in a way i needed to hear it - it makes perfect sense.

my point was to say that the odds of him finding her as the woman of his dreams and having a Pavarotti-like story are extremely slim (man laves wife after 30 years, but this is what women hope for in this kind of situation.
Zaffron is a Virgo they're really good at analyzing things, I trust she understood..
I did take out something valuable from you Nefer, I should allow myself hope many men with that kind of spine exist 🙂, cynicism is never good ..

zaffron, I am very proud of you. Attraction can happen anytime to anyone.. have I ever been attracted to a married man? Certainly there have been a few! But I know I deserve better than that. And so do you!