New to Libra - is his exit temporary??

I'm a 39 year old Cancerian. Met a Libra in May and got on really well. Sex was great, and we connected instantly in terms of soul and deeper conversations. He was very open, and did most of the calling and texting.
At this stage of my life, I didn't want to jump in to anything, so we saw each other about 3 times a week, and did our own thing the rest of the time, but always in touch. We'd talk on the phone for ages. It felt good, and we got closer.
So close that he totally opened up to me about his fears about work, health and finances. He admitted he'd been having panic attacks and was anxious about pretty much everything. (His project is coming to fruition, and he and his business partner are consumed by it all...sometimes I'd call, and they'd still be at one of their houses having worked til 4am.) He called 2 hours later to say how much our talk meant to him and we'd do something cool the next day.
THEN the next day, he chose to work late instead of seeing me, and when I asked what was going on he said "I'm bad at this. I don't know what I want. I can't be in a relationship."
I was floored, but asked him to come over after (late) work for a face to face. He did. There, he totally relaxed, began to smile and thaw out and said "I don't want to break up. That would have been a rash decision and a total mistake."
That following week, he came over to my place 3 nights in a row...way more than usual. Then I went away for a few days, but we stayed in constant touch and he wanted to hook up as soon as my plane landed on my return.
Then last Monday, he came out with essentially the same speech as 3 weeks ago, only this time, he didn't thaw. He only stayed about half an hour. I was really upset, but told him that although I had strong feelings for him, and that it would sting, of course I wouldn't ask him to stay if he felt the need to go. I told him I hoped he'd keep an open mind for ht future, because there was a lot of good here, that I thought he was mixing us in with lots of his other anxieties, but "off you go".
So we've not been in touch since Monday.
Is it true that Libras often panic and pull away? Is that the last I'll see of him? If my gut is right, and I knew him at all, then he's been picking up and putting down the phone all night lol
I won't be getting in touch with him: I like myself, and want to move on ASAP, but I'm intrigued that it seems this is something that Librans do. He's my first. Please, please tell me more lol!!

Yep they disappear, come back, disappear, come back....welcome to Libra land.....good luck and enjoy the rollercoaster ride...enjoy your time apart, get on and enjoy other male company....these guys are free spirits but its good that you can let him go if he chooses to do so - he will like that about you.

Other than that? again, good luck....be true to yourself and dont get too hung up on him....he may not be back for a while but normally they tend to float in and out of your life at their whim

LOL thanks Chatz. If it's not within the next couple of weeks, I'll have moved on. Not to someone else, but I really don't think I could shelve these feelings repeatedly. To be so close and then have to shut it down, well, I'm not your typical Cancer in lots of ways, but that sort of ongoing having to brace myself would probably send me shellwards!
However, I'm not made of stone, and if he called me in the next few days, well, we all get ONE mistake...especially as I'm learning these Libras take their time to figure stuff out. So I would leave a yo-yo window of oppurtunity for this week. But after that, that's a little long to not even call someone you've been so close to so recently...that'd be "so long, Scaley!"
I have feelings for him, I've been really sad, but I have feelings for me too. Bless you for your advice.

Libra's can tend to fall in love quickly, but fall out just as quickly. The Libra men I've dated loved that I was my own person and my life didn't revolve around them when we started to date, and that made them want to be around me more. Also, from my experience, they don't leave one relationship without having another firmly waiting in the wings, this goes for both the males and females that I've known.

Yes we run often. To kinda grasp what's going on. We come back if the person is deservant!

after I wrote the first post above I am shocked, utterly shocked that my Libra has come back and we have been chatting online for the past 3 hours....WTF? for 8 months he has disappeared and all of a sudden he comes back into my life??

See? its just insane...save yourself NOW, RUN!!!! Mine has made a huge effort in telling me he hasnt been with anybody in that time (which I know is true) but why?? He has asked if we could "move on" because "life is too short"....WTF does that mean? Im more than happy to be friends but seriously, he's been gone for 8 months and now we're chatting like nothing happened for 3 hours and its me who had to end it coz its currently 3.30am Sunday LOL....

He said he has changed and took what I said to him back at the breakup on board....again, what does that mean? was that my cue to say come back? I miss him more than he'd ever know but could I go back? after 8 months? probably not because I have been with somebody since...I see he is still online and no doubt going over our chat and analyzing and reading between lines and he'll spend the next few days thinking about what I said, yada yada yada...normally he'd have blocked me and gone on with things but he's still just sitting there. Can he possibly have changed?

Flyngel this could be you in a year from now - do you really want that— these guys make you fall for them just with their eyes, smile, words, charm and then in a blink of an eye, disappear from your life as if they never even knew you.

will I be able to sleep now? not on your life!!!! Because I too will be analyzing and wondering why now.

Argghhhhh!!!!! Save yourself LOL

Blimey, there must be something in the stars! I just bumped into my Libra, and unlike our last goodbye, I was very composed. Said I'd missed him, he said he'd been thinking about calling me.
But no "heavies". We were near his house, he asked me to stay while he got ready to go out ( I was dolled up for going out - phew!!...btw I'm in London, so it's evening); we caught up on our weird week, I said I'd leave, he asked me to walk him to the train and I didn't. I walked him to the corner. Now I'm off out with the gals, and you know what, it feels good.
He did say as I left "please don't feel awkward and drop round/ call anytime" but I won't be availing lol! I really must move on if he is (or seems to be right now - you guys have me terrified!)
He's going on holdiday with his buddy in 3 weeks, and that's what I said: "have a great holiday", making it clear that this bumping in won't be a "thing".
I feel SO sorry for you, Chatz, but then, I'm still in shock/ breakup/ recovery mode. I haven't had him mess me around - for now, he's been clear and honest, and I have nothing but repect for that (crap though it is). I feel ok now, but in 3 glasses of wine's time, I will probably be a puddle in the corner! Who knows?
You poor thing - I really feel for you. That's really odd - after 8 months, you've done so much work to get free, and then he pulls the rug. Thanks for the heads-up.
I did say to my guy "OK, now that we're trying to be friends, I'm cool with that (I hadn't been when we actually broke on Mon, too shocked to agree to it) but you don't tell me if you scoare, and I won't either." LOL
I was, I must admit, trying to suss out his feelings towards me. He said "I would never hurt you like that by telling you. Besides, I really can't see it happening for a long time. I broke up with you because I am just not in that space at all. I don't want to be with anybody..."
So, I'm actually enjoying all of your support as I try to figure out if he's sweet and polite and friendly, or one of your Libra types,who'll be swooping back in a couple of months...
I do hope your LOL at the end was real, Chatz - I hope that, even though he's confused you today, you WILL have some fun and get some sleep.
If not, I may be on again later...but I can't guarantee there won't be lots of typos...if you know what I mean.
8 months? Silly boy...

Oh Im doing fine thank you and surprisingly I did sleep well 🙂 8 months? silly boy? well yes he realises that and he is sorry and he does have so many regrets....I feel there's more to his story that he hasnt let on.

My LOL was real....I refuse to think with my heart anymore but OMG its so good to have spent those 3 hours chatting - just like old times...I do miss him a lot and my one wish has been granted.....we can still be friends. Who knows? maybe in time, more again but he'd have to show his great "change in him" and that I mean more to him than any other woman - I would never again allow myself to be involved with a man including my incredibly charming Libra to have me on the shelf while he looks for "the one".

Im not sorry he's back, in fact Im so terribly relieved....I truly thought he didnt give a crap about me but all this time he's just been sitting at home living with regrets and I do know this....its good to see I meant more than he ever let on....Im glad he's back but again, Im a lot stronger now and have spent time on my own and have been dating....it may be too late for us to rekindle anything if he ever chose to try.

I certainly wont be chasing,in fact I wont be emailing/texting or initiating anything - if he wants anything? he's going to have to truly work for it and dont we all know that these guys can? When they want something they stop at nothing to get it...we shall see. I will now give him what he wants...what they all want....time and distance...he'll be back.

In the meantime Icontinue to date, continue to enjoy my life and to keep working at this wonderful job I have....life truly couldnt be better right now and I feel incredible that everything is falling into place after months of clouds hanging over my head.

Im glad you were able to not give into your Libra and walk him to the train, etc...that shows maturity and that you have your own life and not hanging onto his....he'd like that VERY MUCH. Keep up the good work and above all, dont ever forget to have fun with your girlfriends...they are your guiding lights when things aren't great...man I have my friends to thank for all I put on them (mind you they give it back when its their turn LOL).

Hope you dont have a hangover hahaha.....but that you had a great night out 🙂

Wow Chatz, what a story 🙂 it's amazing the things these Libra's can do to women. They are so darn charming (initially anyway), and they just suck you right in. My ex-Libra was just soooo into me that I never thought in a million years things would have ended the way they did. Oddly enough, we are great friends now and I can't imagine my life without him, plus in general Libra fashion, he's always complimentary of me and makes it known that if I ever wanted to get back together he would be down with that (mind you, he has a girlfriend now and is recently divorced!) But in my Taurus nature, I politely decline as I've moved on and have NO feelings (sexual/relationship wise) towards him anymore! Now I'm onto other self toture being administered by my Leo!

LOL and as you know, Im very keen on a Taurus guy - its frustrating coz he is sooooo slow.

the f/ship with a Libra? that's exactly what I want because he would make the most amazing friend....we always got on so well but r/ship wise, he was never in the right place whereas I was...dunno if that's changed but time will tell....man that Taurus is sexy though.

The dilemmas LOL

You're lucky, Chatz. You've got all that work behind you. Yes, I do have a bit of a hangover today, but I'll survive!

What do you guys make of my post about yesterday: I'm not as calm about it as I was last night, I must admit.
It's playing over and over in my head. On the one hand, he's been clear and honest: "I'm not in the space for a relationship right now"...on the other hand: "please don't feel awkward about coming over or calling whenever you like" and then, as we parted, that kiss on the lips (which I tried to duck and offer my cheek).

I'm going to book a trip, if I can manage it financially, just to get out of my own way.

But I'd love to hear what you guys think is going on for him. He wants to be unfettered, but is that just a typical knee-jerk reaction for Libra, or is it that this guy doesn't have feelings for me and is too polite to admit it?

Owwww...my head...

He's not ready for a r/ship but the option of a FWB is there...that's what I make of it. Only because that is exactly how my libra and I were...we couldnt get enough of eachother but he wasnt in the right place for a commitment, not just with me but for anybody. I only understand it now and can see through it all - strangely enough. If only I'd seen it then, I'd have done things differently and not got so terribly attached to him.

Why he's back now? I really am not sure....only last week I had written him off finally.

You are only just starting on your journey and I hope you dont go through the pain I and others have....read posts on here, do your research and be very careful....its not just a Libra thing though, if somebody isnt ready to commmit? there's nothing anybody can do - the timing has to be right 🙂 And that is exactly what my Libra said to me "timing was wrong"....who knows if it will be right in the future.

Well, we're not going down the FWB route; we LIKE each other too much. So luckily, that's not a problem.
Which is why it was odd that he kissed me at the end...as we were parting and I'd said "you have a great vacation" (he's going in August).

Anyway, yeah, timing is everything, so I'm off to lastminute.com

Thanks for your great replies.

At the end of the day, I acted on intuition, and at the time simply meant "have a great time". It was only later that I thought - well that's a long way off, maybe we'll be in touch in the meantime.
But you know what, if we're not, so be it. He's wonderful, but I'm not so bad either, and for whatever reason, he's chosen for us not to continue.
Nothing I say or do could bring him closer OR push him away, and I have an allergy to manipulation, so if I found myself engaging in it, I'd have to give myself a good shake. I was as honest as I could be at the time given that I didn't have a plan and didn't know what would come out of my mouth.
He is where he is, and that leaves us where we are. Which is, right now, nowhere. So I have to remember where (and who) I am.

Thanks for the food for thought though. And thanks for listening while I attempt to figure this out.

flyangel your situation is quite similar to mine all sweet and fabulous then him needing time off. whilst mine wanting to make things work after this period, i on the other hand has become somewhat dissolve/lost interest and decided putting more space between us so i can weigh my options/how to go about things. we have not seen each other for 4 weeks now but still in touch. can still feel the attraction, we will see each other soon but being indecisive myself not sure whether i'd like to risk the libra high and lows, hot and cold treatment should i decided to continue....*sighs*

Yes, it's hard to get past your feelings - especially the paradox of wanting to do the right thing for someone you care about while feeling a bit miffed that they're capable of shutting off and running away! It is confusing.
We've been in touch a bit in the last few days, and met for breakfast this morning. We just have light chit chat, and no heavies except to clear the air or solve any uncertainty.
What I've learned from this short time is how much I like this guy as a person. But I agree, indecision over many months or years is not something to put up with in terms of your own self-esteem.
So I'm off out of town for work at the weekend, then on vacation for 10 days. I won't see him before I go, and then he's off on his vacation. 5 weeks and thousands of miles (we're both going FAR away lol) should be space enough for anyone. And who knows where my own journey will take me during that time?
While I'd love to think htere's a future for us (we're definitely more than just friends), if there isn't, then at least I've said everything I've needed to say for myself and how I feel, while still having enough respect (love?) to let go and wish him well on whatever this turns out to be.
Not easy, but I'm glad we've worked it out so it's gentle and devoid of unneccessary drama...
Hope you're all doing ok. And thanks again for the support.

"love to think htere's a future for us (we're definitely more than just friends"
what are you basing your thoughts on for you to wanting/thinking of that possibility? do you 2 share common interests? what makes you think it could bring the relationship forward if things to work out? enjoy your holiday where you off to, its madly wet in london

5 weeks is nothing to a Libra though....he'll pop up when you least expect it but he'll also disappear and do the "space" thing time and time again.

Dont bother coming to Australia either - its bitterly cold after the longest and hottest summer in history...sheesh - brrrrrrrrrrr

To be honest, we just discussed the fact that we were more than just friends. That's not to say we'll be back together unless we're meant to be, but it's something we both acknowledge. Timing (as always) is a big factor, though, and feelings don't neccessarily win the day - we've all been there, right? He's got a lot of work and healing to do, and who knows how long that will take?
So, yeah, I'm really looking forward to going away and do a bit of work on myself...while fitting in a pina colada or two.
Have a lovely day.

Ha ha! I'm in London, and I've spent lots of time in Oz - where are you, Chatz? It's been bucketing down for days here.
I'm off to Indonesia - come up and visit, if you like (although, I hear the wet season is still putting in the odd appearance there, too)... D'oh!

theres no such thing as the power of now with libra eh. flyangel have a feeling he'll come crawling back...but move on for now if i was you hugz

they do tend to come back, perhaps as friend, perhaps as a lover, perhaps as a husband - who knows LOL

I live in South Australia...fenowned for the hottest and driest state.....and its freeeeeeeeeeeeeezing at the moment.....even had snow the other day up in the hills....very rare. Did I mention brrrrrrrrrr? lol.

Man we had a long hot summer though, we're still in a drought and even though its so cold, there's no rain.

Hopefully soon - send some of that London rain over - we need it 🙂

"they do tend to come back, perhaps as friend, perhaps as a lover, perhaps as a husband - who knows LOL"

i would rather as a friend im forgiving like that LOL