Silent treatment

I've read so many stories about Libra disappearances here so I wanted to share what has happened to me.

Met this guy back in June through a mutual friend (they are both DJ's and were spinning in my city). There was a short introduction and a FB friend request the next day. No contact until August when he came to spin again in my city. I went,we had a great time. He told me I was fascinating,not average and that he'd like to go on a date with me. Got his number,he got mine and we started texting. It was not that regular but we discovered that we have quite a few things in common. The lunch/dinner date got always pushed back,because we didn't have time. We kind of set the date for December 27th though.

He asked me if I had plans for Dec. 13./14. I told him no. So he invited me to a party he was spinning at in a hotel club,very luxurious. (it's in my area but still a 2hrs drive away). He texted me he'd only have one bed there but he knows how to behave himself and he wanted an answer the next day. His explanation why he wanted me there: it would all be so fake this weekend so he thought I'd be good company to help him get through this. I was skeptical but I accepted nonetheless. Then I started to doubt and asked him what his real intention was behind this (hasty) invitation,that I don't take any BS and that I'm always being straightforward with people,so I'd like the same in return. It took him three days to answer (he was out of country for the weekend and went straight to sleep the other day (but still managed to go online on FB-just a mere observation from me).
He answered that his intention was to get to know me better,he finds me interesting but he couldn't yet say in which direction this should go and that we should do something together,so he thought this would be a good opportunity. But when he thinks it through again, if we didn't get along well it would be kind of too much time we'd spend together.
I told him the same,I know him too little to spend so much time with him (let alone SLEEP in the same room/bed!!) so my suggestion was to stick to the date on the 27th and I added a few hours later that we could still risk it and see how it goes (because I was unsure and couldn't decide) this happened three days before the weekend and from then NO ANSWER,NO NOTHING.

He ignores me completely and I don't get why!
He kind of took me by surprise with his sudden invitation when there was a date set already and uninvited me indirectly again and I just don't know what's happening. I have a feeling that he's mad but I wouldn't know about what.

To all you Libras out there: is this normal?


I really like you guys and all my life I've been attracted to Libras,all October born,only a few days apart (20th,15th and 17th) I don't know why,this is insane! I can sense them! LOL
Maybe because I have the rising and moon in Taurus (Venus as well but not compatible at all).

I'm a Libra. Your friend kind of reminds me of me. He seems to have a lot on his plate, probably seems to like it that way. Did he dj because he LOVED music and wanted to travel to different places and meet different people? Is he both a yes and no type of guy? I've lived a hectic life style in the past, which resulted in a lot of one-night stands, friends with benefits, and short-lived relationships. I did all these things because I was looking for balance in all aspects of my life. Does he seems like the type of person to be open, but yet closed? Tread lightly...One of my biggest requirements for a committed relationship is loyalty, trust, and faithfulness. Unless I found or felt these things when I met someone I would have just kept them as friends with benefits until I found someone who had what I was looking for.

Thank you rudy86girlfriend04
He DJ's because it's his passion-I've felt this through our texts as well as when he was playing music. With 10 years being a DJ he sure had his fair share of women (still has) and he even had "the one" but he messed up,s#it happens (his words) and lives on. He once told me that he'd like to settle down,he's pretty much seen it by now (and he's in his mid thirties)
I wouldn't know all the other answers because I really don't know him that well. But I was/am ready to start off as friends with him of course,hell I don't even know if we'd get along.

Is it the silent treatment or could it be that he is busy and that he'll see you on the 27th?

How often do you text?

Posted by cappie23
(they are both DJ's and were spinning in my city).

Sorry, but kinda red flag number one. Not knocking guys who are into this and truly good at what they do, but even you said it after this post- he's had his share. That life style involved is just... not attractive.

He told me I was fascinating,not average and that he'd like to go on a date with me.

Sorry, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. When a guy says shit like that, it always comes off so forced. It's like he's trying to flatter you into submission. I dunno, I just think it's overkill when a guy says such bs. What's so hard about asking, "would you like to go out sometime?" Usually attraction is an unspoken thing and stating the obvious seems to be a really strange thing to do. That whole "WOW YOU ARE SO AMAZING. YOU ARE SO GREAT AND WONDERFUL. PLEASE DATE ME!" Really? :/

He asked me if I had plans for Dec. 13./14. I told him no. So he invited me to a party he was spinning at in a hotel club,very luxurious. (it's in my area but still a 2hrs drive away). He texted me he'd only have one bed there but he knows how to behave himself and he wanted an answer the next day.

This is just freaking weird, sorry. You two haven't even been on a date yet and he's proposing THIS be the first "date" of sorts? Why did he think this was okay? Methinks he's been around too many loose girls and has forgotten what a real lady is like.

It took him three days to answer (he was out of country for the weekend and went straight to sleep the other day (but still managed to go online on FB-just a mere observation from me).

click to expand

That's because he's full of shit, sorry. Busy schedules aside, he doesn't seem to be trying very hard to get a date with you. You two have a date set well into the future which seems kind of odd (I don't know all the details of why that date was picked though), and when he does want to bump it to something sooner, it's an absolutely inappropriate situation to suggest.

I dunno about you, but I'd already be turned off and would start questioning if the 27th should even happen. Just too many "freaking weirdo" vibes. You may just want to go do you and see if flake extraordinaire gets back in touch about the 27th.

Btw, the last time I dealt with a guy who exhibited similar behavior, I ended up intentionally turning him off. I just did not care for that whole "sniffing around" vibe I got and the flaky, nonchalance involved in whether we "hung out" sometime or not. Overall, I felt like he was just hitting me up when he had nothing else going on or keeping me around as an option he'd get to when he felt like it.

So I kept convos very short and wasn't engaging much. One night, in response to something I'd said, he replies with "wow you sound like you're hard to please." That was the last time I heard from him.

...Bye Felicia. Haha.

@jeane We have no contact. I just started ignoring him as well and am not expecting the date to happen at all actually.

@rockyroadicecream
Thank you. Yeah, he's definitely not worth my precious time 😉

@Octoberfrost
I guess so...

Posted by Octoberfrost

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Sorry, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. When a guy says shit like that, it always comes off so forced.

Yeah, completely pretentious and generic.

Sounds to me like he just wanted an easy lay, but decided to throw in the towel once you started questioning his motives. Probably thought it wasn't worth the trouble/fuss in the end, hence the silence. What a turn-off.

click to expand

+1

I've experienced that supposedly innocent intent approach this type of guy pulls. It's a lot of bs haha.

"Oh no, I'll behave/it'll be innocent!" *either tries to make a move/does or says things to sway her into initiating something*

The shit guys do... I had one try to talk me into coming over so he could practice massage techniques on me that he learned about on youtube.

....—

Posted by Octoberfrost

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Sorry, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. When a guy says shit like that, it always comes off so forced.

Yeah, completely pretentious and generic.

Sounds to me like he just wanted an easy lay, but decided to throw in the towel once you started questioning his motives. Probably thought it wasn't worth the trouble/fuss in the end, hence the silence. What a turn-off.

click to expand

I agree with these two ladies. That was kind of my first thought. The first "date" to be an overnight rave...i dunno. Then again, that's not my life style . But yeah, it sounded like he wanted to speed it up and you slowed it down (rightly so I think). You said you dont know him well enough am to wait til the 27th, so he's waiting til the 27th.

Has he contacted you yet?

To practice massage techniques hmm...I'll remember that one...

@LibraSid no,he hasn't,but I'm not expecting it. I don't expect anything from him anymore..

Posted by Octoberfrost

lol!!! That's a new one. I've had similar experiences.

I wonder if these guys ever listen to themselves. Either they're really dumb, or we're just really good at feigning naivety. 😛

They're also the same ones who bitch about how women never give them a chance.

"I ACT LIKE A TOTAL FREAK/SOCIAL IDIOT. WHY DON'T THEY GIVE ME A CHANCE??"