Telling him to slow down hurt his feelings?

I feel like it is making our relationship feel a bit off.

I don't understand though. I can go a few days without seeing the person I like, I prefer it this way because it keeps the relationship fresh.

We started dating like the day after we met.. he moved really fast. And we became physical pretty fast too, although not sex or anything related to sex, but close. And for me that's a lot still. But after about a week passed and I started realizing we were seeing each other way too often so soon in the relationship and things were going to fast, I decided to be honest and talk to him about it.

I wasn't planning on breaking up with him, but I felt like hiding what I was feeling was wrong so I let him know I was worried at how fast we were going. Not to mention the fact that I am very busy with my life. I want to be an interpreter so I want to travel and learn languages, so day to day I am usually very busy with my own stuff, I can't see him all the time, and he is not my main priority.. but I feel like he wants me to be his everything. He doesn't do his own thing like I do. And so when I told him I wanted to slow down, he thought i was breaking up with him and we broke up because I felt like it was best for him and me, that way he could find someone better for him.. but than like ten minutes later he called me back and told me that he feels like it's "wrong" for us to break up and he is willing to slow down and accept the fact that my goals and dreams are still going first right now.

But I feel like he it's driving him crazy not to see me all the time.. instead of doing anything on his own he always just wants to do everything with me and spend all his time with me, which is very sweet, but not possible for me right now.. and I think it's hurting him.


Is this typical Libra behavior? Not to do your own thing but to want to dedicate all your time into the relationship?

I'm not going to ask what i should do.. because really it's his choice. I am being selfish and I don't think I should be in the relationship with him, because I am always going to be focusing on the things I want to do in life.. but I don't want to hurt him by not giving him the chance to see if he can deal with it. If he can't, I understand if we break up.. but I don't want to ruin him because of it.

Posted by amethyst2002
Regardless of sign, he just sounds really immature and insecure about this stuff.

It's odd though as this is my first relationship and I feel like I should be the one that is immature about it since I've never dated before.. but eh.

Posted by amethyst2002
I was in the same boat last year. My Libra ex didn't move THAT fast, but he was moving faster than I'd expected. I was the one putting the brakes on everything and trying to slow him down. He was my first serious relationship as well so yeah, it was a bit odd that this not being HIS first relationship that he was moving so fast and I was like whooa, slow the hell down, dude.

Agreed. This guy is like putting everything on me and to be honest it freaks me out. It's sad to say that I keep thinking about when I will break up with him in the future.. but for some reason the thought keeps popping up that we aren't going to last. but I don't want to do that, I want to see how it goes but it's difficult. I am more independent and I miss not having someone always wanting to be with me. I know it's weird. >

Posted by amethyst2002
Wow, you totally sound like me. I had the same thoughts. In the beginning, I wasn't sure where it was going and not sure if it'd last long, but wanted to see how it went because I knew he was a really good guy and all. So I gave it a chance and went with the flow.

Overall, I think it was his Libra indecisiveness. He went in hard, then it was, "doop dee do," not interested anymore.

That and him getting into Call of Duty hardcore. I was getting pretty close to ending it due to the fact I'd become a video game widow. It was kinda bullshit.

But he broke it off with me the week before Christmas. Great timing. *eyeroll*

Overall, I don't think he really knew what he wanted at the time. He had a lot going on and just couldn't seem to balance a bunch of stuff at once. Even his roommates and friends noticed he'd been kinda out of it. He's got some growing up to do, though.

I feel like he will probably end it with me soon too.. He doesn't like the fact that I don't miss him all the time, don't want to hold him all the time. It's just not like me. I honestly barf in my mind at the thought of always having someone holding me. I don't like it at all, all the clingy stuff just makes me wanna throw up. It's harsh but true. I need someone who I can just hang out with and be like "dude, lets go hiking" It's just how I am. But I am trying to adjust myself so that I can somewhat get used to his behavior but I think he doesn't like it either.. I think it's driving him a bit mad.

Posted by QLIbraMale
Is this typical Libra behavior? Not to do your own thing but to want to dedicate all your time into the relationship?----somewhat true, but it seems like making you happy is his top priority lol. if from the bottom of your heart you feel uncomfortable about your relationship just end it. being true to yourself is never wrongful, but being confused than feeling regrets is karmas way of slapping you on the ass an walking away.

To be honest I think he is just becoming attached to me.. I don't think it's about making me happy because he doesn't understand what makes me happy I don't think. It's too soon to understand.. but it's more about the fact that he misses me and wants to hold me, even though I personally don't like that stuff too much. I think we will probably end it soon mainly because I feel like because I don't like that stuff it's making him unhappy and that makes me feel guilty.. but I can't help it I just want to hangout not be held constantly, just chat and laugh and pretty much be friends. I want romance sometimes but not all the time.. I'm just not the type.

This is the same thing that happened with my libra. He came on soo strong it seemed like he was smothering. I liked it somewhat but in the back of my mind I was like, when's the bottom going to drop out---almost like it's too good to be true. Libras are in love with the idea of love, and yes he probably likes you alot and loves the high of falling for you, but make no mistake in thinking that you have him all bagged. They have this way of falling in and falling out just as quickly. My libra came on strong and I questioned his motives because he just seemed way too persistent and that scared me...but now he started a new job totally hectic and draining and I'm like where's all the constant contact and wanting to see me??! Nooow he has a job that takes up his energy and his time and there are times I wish he would be "fullforce" again (although I'm appreciating the space---once I know he still cares). From what I've noticed Libras love the chase--they love going after you fullforce and try to win you over with their romantic behavior--but you're the one bringing some "balance" by appearing just out of reach for him--and so he'll come on stronger. At the same time, I can totally agree with the space and that it is annoying to have him all over you like that. But i bet that if he were to stop or to pullback, you would be like what the heck?! Perhaps this is how he is initially and that things will gradually slow down.

I have recently been told to slow down by my cancer lol I was quite disappointed not because of what he said but because I really was making a conscious effort to move slower! I move very fast in the beginning and then stop. I have been with a few Cancers and the way it seems to go is, by the time they get to where I was in the relationship I am over it. It has always ended with them being the clingy ones and them seeing me as cold!