UPDATE on hot then backing away libra

just in case anyone is interested in an update. i did realize that i was probably coming on strong, BUT it was being reciprocated at the start, so i thought it was alright. looking back, ESPECIALLY after reading all the realistic posts here, and fing rori's site (THANK YOU GUYS!!) i learned i have been doing it all wrong. i never knew that. all these years & failed relationships and EVEN THOUGH WE REALLY LIKED EACH OTHER......... i just never knew how to date. why didn't anyone tell me this? how can it be that simply going with my natural instincts, not the right, or smart, way to do it—

ok, so libra guy who was hot and heavy and head over heels for me, then pretty much disappeared. i spent 2 weeks crying and trying to figure out what i did wrong, and what i could do to bring it back to how it was. luckily i was able to keep myself distracted and did not contact him at all. well, last night i get on facebook, which is the only place i can catch up with my bestie, as she's married w 3 kids. we always get on after like 11pm to chat. and libra guy KNOWS THIS. so i pop on, i see him on there, i panic...... but refuse to send him a msg. after about 15 minutes, he writes, BOO! this is after 11 days of not hearing from him. i fight all my natural instincts to come at him, ask him questions, say that i misssssss him, ask him how he has been, etc. i play it cool, i amswer him in one word answers, and i do not reply unless he comes at me with another question. i'm not cold at all, but quite the opposite, i'm trying to let him see all the things he liked about me, but i am LEANING BACK!!! honestly, i thought it would be harder to do.... than it actually was! it came naturally. i kept floating away, even toggling between browser tabs, checking my email & such, and when i would pop back on he would be asking me questions, not once but TWICE. it was amazing. i let him lead the conversation and i felt like a butterfly fluttering around looking down at him with a net in his hand. it actually worked. i ended the convo first, and told him that if he wanted to touch base or talk to give me a call sometime (we ALWAYS texted & emailed, NEVER calls). i won't stand for that anymore as a rule. i'm not dating my cell phone. i felt GREAT after wards, no longer sad and unsure. it's amazing. and, if he calls me, he calls me. if not, that's fine..... there are planty of guys who would be smitten with me. THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

I hate to say it but I told you so...I told you he would be back around if you relax, slow down and focus on yourself. Now let him lead and a bit of advice is try not to be so eager, he's not going anywhere and if he's not moving at a pace that your comfortable with find other men to date, date yourself, do something other than focus on what he's doing and what he's not doing. You pick up fast, you learn fast, you will be just fine during this new phase of dating life.

I feel so happy for you, I can't stop grinning...YAY!!

you DID tell me so. and you are the first ever to have told me. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS IN MY 20s——? hahaha!! no really. it was so much fun talking to him like that. it was so liberating. and it threw him, b/c i know he was expecting the typical girrrrrrrrl thing, where i jump on him like where have you been? what have you been doing? did you meet somoene else? ad infinitum. i was SO cool, and i was so proud of myself. and fyi...... i reactivated my account with online dating and have been practising the new techniques there as well. i have no intention of leading anyone on....... but i CAN and WILL try out this new leaning back. already there was one guy i talked bcak & forth with for the past 2 days. instead of long emails where i tell him everything about myself (bc i'm so awesome if he sees ALL of me how can he not fall in LOVE with me - that's an m.o. of the PAST) i replyed with VERY brief answers. and then disappeared. the more you pull back, the more they come towards you!!!!! and the ones who don't come toward you, hey, who needs them. omg it's like a light switch just went on. i only wish i had learned this before i met mr libra, i bet with the new techniques he would be DRIVING 14 hours to spend time with me. LOL. and, more importantly, i wouldn't have fallen for him, just based on superficial connections...... i would have taken the time to see if he IS available. and i wouldn't have gotten (so) hurt.

SO simple. i'm SO glad i get it. THANK YOU, i don't even know how i could re-pay you for helping me along.
i'm paying it forward to my best friend who is doubtful. i said, well if we're not doing it WRONG why are we 40 & single?!?!!
best to all of you!!!!

Repay? You owe me *nothing* - your shining moment right now is "payment" enough! Although... paying it forward to your skeptical, disillusioned, sick and tired of being sick and tired best friend.. ahhh.. that makes my poor, tired fingers feel it was worth every frantic keystroke 😄

I feel GIDDY with happiness for you! I am squirming in my seat and grinning like a fool! I know the feelings you're having right now, the shock and wonder, the "light bulb" moment when it all clicks.. your eyes widen, eyebrows raise, mouth hangs open, heart starts beating fast.. and it just CLICKS in your mind.. and you say, "WHY didn't I ever see any of this before? Insanity is doing the exact same thing, over and over -- and expecting different results! I just got off the Crazy Train!"

Your transformation has begun... and the journey is as thrilling as the results. *hugs*

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I also went to Rori's web and was stuck reading for hours!! She's amazing!!!

I am trying my lean back tech with Mr. Libra, and implementing in me for any future Mr. Possible Right

Ladies great advise THANK YOU!

PrettyP. Keep us updated if he contacts you 🙂

This situation is very familiar to me. Just make sure you don't fall for his charming ways again cuz you may be tempted to "lean fwd" to this guy again and you're back to square one. One thing about Libras, they keep coming back when you tell them to leave you alone. I told my xbf to never talk to me again and every year for the past how many yrs and kept popping back up until I started dating my BF. The funny thing is, I havent seen him for over a yr now and he still managed to pop back up by asking my friend about me....but this time I did not "lean" towards him 🙂

"(we ALWAYS texted & emailed, NEVER calls). i won't stand for that anymore as a rule. i'm not dating my cell phone."
omg I completely understand you, my libra doesn't call either and we've been dating for 9 months, he told me he hates the feeling of getting his ear warmed up because of the cellphone and that he likes to see the person in the eye when he is talking :s. Maybe there is something wrong with Libras and not calling :s, libras what do you have to say about that?

I think it's an excellent rule of thumb not to let your guy text you over calling you. I always felt there was something wrong with a guy that texts a majority of the time. I think it is ok when he is at work and can't talk on the phone or in a loud place, but if it's his primary method of contacting you, I'd dump him. This was pretty much confirmed when I dated a cancer last year and he told me he NEVER texts a girl that he likes unless he absolutely has to because he feels it is so impersonal and he'd prefer to hear her voice. We didn't work out but he was always a class act and still calls me from time to time. After him, I dated a Taurus who I think I only spoke to on the phone once. The rest was all texting. Funny and engaging texts, but texts nonetheless. He turned out to be a commitment-phobe who dropped me like a hot potato for another girl when he figured out that I wasn't going to rush off to bed with him. Coincidentally he did the text thing with her too (she's my friend now) and dropped her after two dates of not getting any.

Right now there's a guy that's interested in me. He has my number but hasn't called me once. Only texts. I text him back short and sweet. Him texting me shows me that he's only marginally interested in me or expecting me to chase him. He'll be waiting a long time for that to happen!

Make your dude CALL you! 🙂

Great GREAT advice Pesca now if you could just teach all the other women to stop letting men be so lazy towards them by leaning so heavily on technology to keep in touch, even a phone card is cheap so there really isn't too many excuses why a man can't pick up the phone and say hello from time to time even long distance.....

I don't like the phone either, only if we are planning something... I prefer face to face!!! My phone is so programmed, I screen every single call. Hate the phone!!