Will v/s Basic nature as defined by the signs

Say for example, if some one is a Cancer, their nature tends to be "sensitive, needing attention" etc etc. What if they want to change it to being more stoic? Is that possible? Psycology preachers may say "yes". Yet I am confused. At times I want to be more random, stoic, and really shrug at things that normally would bother me. That is, change to someone else. How do you perceive this matter?
I believe in astrological aspects, hence the example. But I would like to know, if those aspects or traits, even though true as observed atleast by me, can be changed in one.
Is it about will too or is it that the basic nature never changes?

imo, never changes, you can curb aspects for a short while but eventually your true nature will overcome it... which is why you may see some become bitter later in life, constantly making excuses or defending their actions, etc...

a will is similar to desire, determination, and your nature dictates the willpower - if you change your nature, will there be any more of your actual willpower left ? or is your will now someone else's life you have taken on i.e. the life of the someone else you want to be like....

maybe that why shrinks are available into talking people into not being afraid to be themselves 🙂

"a will is similar to desire, determination, and your nature dictates the willpower - if you change your nature, will there be any more of your actual willpower left ? "

I didnt think this way Zen, I see what you trying to put 🙂

But still, if someone is not so sure if they are happy in their own skin, like really want to do something as far as a few aspects are concerned, wont there be SOME way...? Oh I so wish there is 😢

But still, if someone is not so sure if they are happy in their own skin, like really want to do something as far as a few aspects are concerned, wont there be SOME way

I know what you mean --- if I ever felt like that, I would attempt to work some steps as this would not be a natural thought process for me...

1) Identify why I am feeling this way?
2) What is making me unhappy?
3) If it makes me unhappy is it healthy for my sanity?
4) What is the good thing about my current skin that can be of good value to someone else? a group? volunteer service? something to increase self-confidence...

As you see I think everyone is unique and can be valued in the right environment. If you are in the wrong environment, then you will be convinced, some difference to you will make it better...but will it or if you change, you will no longer be you 🙂

Are you a water sign or mutable sign?

Hmm, I get what you mean Zen...

If I follow your thought processing steps, I would answer them as :
1) I am feeling this way since a few months now, most probably has to do with my relationship which has quite drained me.
2) Not getting what I need. I somehow feel it is inappropriate to value the relationship in your life that much. I deem my self as obsessive, although totally cooled off from outside. So, it it like I am hurting bad and confused and insecure, but outwardly I ain't really showing it to the concerned person, now that is.
3) I can't say if my sanity is affected, but surely there's an effect. Maybe I am gaining new perspectives, but there are so many such, that I end up feeling CONFUSED as to which one is right or true as far as the person is concerned.
4) I think the current job doesnt really use up my sensitivity. But Idk if I really want to volunteer for a social cause right now. Rather I feel I should become more and more stoic.

So you see, I feel I am wrong in a way to value a relationship that much, maybe I am not, maybe its normal but its confusing.
I've learnt that the worst states of all is not when you know something is not gonna happen, but when you are unsure what is. I've started kinda not liking the way my mind is.

Environment, hmm, cant say, maybe true.

I am a Cancer Zen.

Don't mean to pick it apart but I would still compute if you don't mind 🙂

1) I am feeling this way since a few months now, most probably has to do with my relationship which has quite drained me.
We step in from the tougher outer world where we've been on guard into the safety of our homes, relationships, family, etc...where we can leave the guards at the door...and be our selves. If we are having to use the guards in relationship, it completely negates the point of a relationship that should be fun and refreshing to help us face the outer world...
Though relationships are not easy but relationship problems to me include I have a new job 1000miles away, should we relocate? how many kids do you want? I have orgasm problems?, etc etc NOT how should I act? I wonder where he is? he hasn't called in xxxdays? I don't understand him, etc etc as these leads to drainage and no longer a relationship --- someone becomes the giver and will continue to be the giver for the natural life of the relationship.

The need to change your basic nature to be more attractive or accepting to someone is unhealthy. You have to ask yourself what you are getting from such a situation that is healthy? Are you clinging to something that isn't and will never be? Are you like the water sign you are flowing with something nonexistent making all the sacrifices? Does this person you want to change for want to be more like you too? are you doing all the work? if you suffer in a relationship, the person you are in the relationship should be equally suffering the same insecurities otherwise it points to incompatibility and not geared for long term...it is an affair that has gone on for too long...

I am from a family where my mother and father are incompatible and my mother has spent her adult life trying to make up and compromise for the imcompatibility attempting to be more like what she thinks my dad likes...
my dad has gone about his business while she does this so she ends up not giving her kids enough attention but attempting to feed all attention to him...she has never known relationship happiness...she thinks she was born to serve him and she must have a problem --- do you want to be this? a servant?

Astrology has a lot of key - do not deny yourself hapiness...we all feel the same emotions, it is the way we express it that makes us very different --- if you want long term happiness, find someone that values your method of expressing, recognises them and encourages it to florish not change it 🙂

Good luck...

Very interesting Zen! Really, I found it quite apt.
But, thing is, I ain't really trying to change the me for someone, rather, I am kinda done with someone and still it bugs me. So, I was thinking, for my good, why not change this aspect or try to.
I loved your interpretation about the drainage, "why hasn't he called, where is he.." etc. So right, but I have been doing that too. Nevermind though, I was thinking that maybe I am a lil over sensitive or what. Astrology does help. I can relate.
Like I was reading my chart and my guy's (Idk if its ex yet, we still are in touch on off) and found my 7th house (which is imp for partnerships I read, sorry am actually a noob in astro) has Moon. And his, has all weird placements of Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune. Which makes him very unstable, strange, idealistic, etc in relationships.
Yeah, I agree finding someone who can relate more is good. But I was still thinking I should be somehow able to let those feelings of hurt wander somewhere else, not in my mind!

oh I see you're going through a relationship breakup - but like water, you wonder if you can flow with it and ride it out? but remember, the longer you stay in a relationship, the harder it is to come out...
If someone for any reason, astro, unstability, unpredictability, is not able to handle a relationship, then it isn't someone else's role to baby/nurtur it out for them - they will be willing to jump in with you and make it work easily with the right person.

Cancer is an emotional cardinal sign hence has a lot of EGO - your ego has come into town...it usually does when a Cardinal sign is not winning at something or can lead something successfully. You lead with emotions and want to be responsible for knowing how everyone's feeling...this can lead you to manipulate the required emotion out.

However, this cannot apply in relationships as the two people who are part of the relationship should be willing to walk the same distance or miles to get to the relationship goal --- only outside forces should interfer with the unshakable bond --- if you cannot achieve an unbreakable bond, then the relationship does not exist. You cannot force the bond either...it comes naturally equally not from one person only.

Look around you, look on dxp, in real life...somehow everyone especially ladies have convinced themselves guys have problems, and somehow they can be changed...SORRY...a person is who they are...the guy will find someone who is able to walk at his pace, go the same stride with him and it does not have to be YOU.

The biggest gift in life is not wasting it...happiness is free and easier than we think - the harder you work should be done happily and the more drained you feel, the faster life passes you by 🙂

Sorry for going on but it really saddens me when people are not able to let go of a situation that is unhealthy for them. I saw your hypno thread - hope you're not considering it relating to this... Good luck....

I know what you mean Zen 🙂
Thanks for such an insight. You don't have to be sorry, it was just I didn't think from the perspective, yet that is 🙂
It does get difficult, I know, but then as you said, no one needs to change themselves. But I was trying to give it a thought on a life term basis. So that I don't get caught up in such feelings next time, be it a relationship or something else 🙂 But I do get your point too.
And no, I started the thread just coz I got a strange mail from someone advertising it in a weird way. So wanted to cut out the curiosity, thats all! 🙂