ARTICULATE

Outside of dxp I'm very inarticulate.

My vocabulary is incredibly stunted (I use the word "f**k" a lot).

I lose my train of thought often.

And being asked questions - whether general or personal - is my worst nightmare.

I have a tendency to be overly self-depreciating, which makes people think I have low self-esteem when paradoxically I describe myself in a self-depreciating manner merely to keep my out-of-control arrogant outlook at bay.

People bore me a lot when they go on about things they are passionate about. Which makes me feel I may be boring others when I speak about something that's dear to me.

And sometimes I get so emotional and feel so aware of the other person's feelings that I can't form words whether the situation calls for me to comfort them or tear them a gaping new one.

Despite all this, socializing isn't a problem for me lol

I just hate playing back past situations in my head and finding myself left wanting.

I think one day I'm going to go into the world without a filter and just say whatever is on my mind lol

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by 1two3go
I think one day I'm going to go into the world without a filter and just say whatever is on my mind lol

The results are always interesting 🙂

click to expand

That was me much younger. Didn't care about the outcome... because I never thought that far.

Thensomething called "aging" occured...

I'm a horrible talker...I have trouble keeping myself focused on formulating sentences because my mind is too accustomed to jumping into different worlds and spacing out. Often enough once I lose focus I begin speaking before ever completing a thought and so I may slur, combine words, or say something different entirely.

Like, instead of saying, "My lips are chapped" I might say, "My chips are lapped" because I'm not really there at all to formulate it clearly. And with all this being true then I am also a horrible listener and therefore a horrible date.

Because of this flaw I suffer greatly in giving speeches and some social occurances and those failures I can never forget have caused permanent damage to my self image among other things. While I don't hate myself and can think of things that I love about myself I'll never be a guy that brims with confidence.

The image of a lonesome bison rancher who lost a leg to a tractor years ago if you will.

the older I get the worst I get. I say things now that I would not have said 10 or 15 years ago.