Father's Day

So it seems like father's day is never made to be as important as Mothers day, especially here in the US. I'm guessing mainly due to the stigma that a lot of men are deadbeats, in jail, etc. So it always seems that the guys who are great dad's get somewhat overlooked in all this. My dad is no longer alive but was a GREAT dad, so I can appreciate the guys I know that are great dad's to their kids. Especially since it is so very important to have that male presence for kids growing up. So because of these factors, I make it a point to tell every single man I'm associated with (includes past ex's) Happy Father's Day every year. I feel like I can overlook anything that has happened in the past between myself and anyone else to at least acknowledge them for this one thing.

But I've been told that by doing that I'm either 1) sending the wrong message 2) should only reach out if they acknowledged me on Mothers day 3) they're not my dad, so why am I saying anything

I just see it as doing something nice. I know my own intentions aren't anything other than that, and I'm not petty enough to base what I do off of someone else's previous actions. But am I being naive in this? What do you guys think? How do you handle father's day with men in your life (past and present)? Should I no longer include certain people in this? I sometimes think my niceness gets taken for granted and viewed as something else. Probably because 90% of the people I know are depressed and unhappy.....

My ex still sends a happy Mothers day text to my mom.

Don't worry about what other people say... esp the thing about 'Well... they didn't tell you Happy Mothers Day" --

wtf?

I don't like that mindset-- someone has to go first, or nothing gets resolved and we all stay disconnected.

If they think you're hitting on them (I assume this would be the 'wrong message' you're sending), then you

can deal with that on a case by case basis, and keep it in mind for next year.

Moms are valuable.

Dads are disposable.

Posted by Montgomery
My ex still sends a happy Mothers day text to my mom.

Don't worry about what other people say... esp the thing about 'Well... they didn't tell you Happy Mothers Day" --

wtf?

I don't like that mindset-- someone has to go first, or nothing gets resolved and we all stay disconnected.

If they think you're hitting on them (I assume this would be the 'wrong message' you're sending), then you

can deal with that on a case by case basis, and keep it in mind for next year.

Yeah, I don't like that mindset either. It unfortunately rings true for most people in life though, especially when it comes to communication with the opposite sex. The hitting on them thing could be an issue of ego. For one person to assume to know another's persons intentions based off a simple text is crazy. BUT it does happen. I can admit I've wrongly made an assumption like that before.

Posted by CapTenn
Moms are valuable.

Dads are disposable.

Awww. That's not true.

people treat father's day according to their experiences. some people only had a mother growing up so she was both mother and father. others only had a dad growing up, so he plays both mother and father role. others have awesome dads and are thankful for them. it's not anyone's business how anyone else chooses to see father's day. celebrate or dont celebrate how you all see fit.

i personally do not keep in touch with exes, but if they wish my folks happy mothers or fathers day, then i will accept it and move on. anything else will be ignored.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
I don't ever really remember anything other than my birthday LOL!

Lol. That's what the internet is for.

It isn't that we value mothers over fathers; it's because men don't make a big deal about things the way women do. Women are the ones who demand men go all out for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc. They need gestures like gifts and dinners and crap to feel loved and appreciated. This is why I don't get along with other women. I'm not like that, and they annoy me. I'm more like the guys. They usually keep it simple, and don't require anyone to make a fuss over them. They wanna do something fun and/or relax and be left alone for awhile.
I'm sorry to hear your dad is no longer with us. I can imagine Father's Day being difficult without him. I think it's a very endearing gesture on your part to give other dads a warm fuzzy on their day.