cj7
@cj7
20 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 3626 · Topics: 27
hmm
LOL... those are great.
I LOVE AMERICA!!! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!
Number seven is wrong... it should be people use call ID to screen calls and call waiting so they don't miss people they didn't want to talk to in the first place...
I LOVE AMERICA!!! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!
Number seven is wrong... it should be people use call ID to screen calls and call waiting so they don't miss people they didn't want to talk to in the first place...
LOL..totally classic. Hey, but with the exception of number 3 it could also be...'Only in Australia'.
Also some parts of the U.K.
Very much ROFL, so this was great.
ttul
ttul
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
learn to work a toilet seat. you're a big girl. If its up , put it down. I need it up you need it down. you do not hear me complaining about you leaving it down. You do not want to leave it down when I am pissed.
I am INFJ according to the Temperment Sorter II Personality Instrument.
Here's the link to take the free test. I would enjoy seeing what type the rest of you are :-)
http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp?partid=1
Here's the link to take the free test. I would enjoy seeing what type the rest of you are :-)
http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp?partid=1
I've been forced to get rid of ALL my music I'd had stored on my computer...because my parents read some article about everyone getting taken to court for having illegal music on their computers ("well if grandmas and grandpas are being arrested, why coul
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I had three things going... I wanted to be an artist, an archeologist, and a secret agent.
Hmmm... I still want to be those things... Hmmm...
I had three things going... I wanted to be an artist, an archeologist, and a secret agent.
Hmmm... I still want to be those things... Hmmm...
how do you relax?
I've been to a doctor's office five days out of the past two weeks.
I fainted after they stuck this needle in me. Then I had to go to another place for taking more blood... Then I had to come back to have another needle... And back again in a mon
I fainted after they stuck this needle in me. Then I had to go to another place for taking more blood... Then I had to come back to have another needle... And back again in a mon
I fear I may be going mad I look and it says the 24th but the last post is the 21st. I have made note of late that there are fewer and fewer post, where have all the posters gone? Has dxp squelched us one by one? Am I next or am I alone out here? Will I n
so I'm over here in Berlin right now, occasionally with time to get onto a computer, and I have so many funny stories to tell that I absolutely had to share.
First of all, our dorms are basically in the woods, odd for me because woods and cities
First of all, our dorms are basically in the woods, odd for me because woods and cities
Sigh. I've decided (for like the millionth time in my life) that this weekend, I'm going to try to quit smoking. I met a man today at work, a customer, and got to talking with him for about forty-five minutes (needless to say, it was a "slow" day), and
Which would you rather have, wealth or youth?
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in he garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk
to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process
so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
EVER WONDER ~~~~
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins L ottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liqu id is
made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~~
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought—?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't
this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm