JOKE OF THE DAY

Because everyone need to laugh at least one time a day I think it would be nice for us to have a joke for the day. I will start.


Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a
3-year-old girl, to hold the light high over her mommy so he could see
while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked.
Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was
born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his
bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed
3-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
first place. Smack his ass again."

That was good scorpion lady !!! But am not at all humorous TT

topazwomen

you a scorpio and you are not humorous? I love to laugh and joke, I am very humorous,I say funny stuff all the time.

Sorry dear scorpionlady, am just not at all humorous. many a time I fail to catch the joke. Sometimes if someone attempts to say a joke to me, I just go into an inner freeze and just smile back instead of laughing out loudly and enjoying the joke. That only serves to take the pleasure out of the situation. But if the jokes are real good, then I do enjoy them very well although not so voiciferously. And I love watching humorous movies too.

"Huh? that joke was la la la lame..."

What a mean thing to say , YUCK ....

well shaka2 if you can do better, it was for who ever might need a laugh or just enjoy jokes

So c'mon pal shaka2, why don't we get a real treat of your oh so superior ability to crack the best joke —

you are but, but if you are going to talk like that then back it up.

LOL DB....

Well Shaka2, I have always noticed that on these boards we scorpios never attack or insult anyone. We only retaliate or put others in place when they act mean. C'mon we never come to criticize you like you do. In fact we are quite warm towards other sun signs. I find that only some of you act in this way ...jumping at any thing a scorp says and trying to air the opposite views just for the heck of it.

Oh my goodness....I never thought a joke of the day would turn into something so trivial...could somebody just appreciate the joke add A joke make up a joke the post was JOKE OF THE DAY.

lol DB. And would Shaka catch it ?? I don't think so.

OW ow Shaka the great has to resort to snide remarks at TW for getting even with the mighty DB whom he fears !!!

well let us liven this thread not by attacking each other but by going back to the original topic as introduced by SL. So why don't you people add some jokes —?

Thank you topazwomen..I was just trying liven the place up LOL...I see that did not work to well....LOL

"People are just a means for ideas to manifest themselves" Brahn how can you be so robotic ?

Sincerely Brahn, do you FEEL happiness, love, care, understanding, OPTIMISM etc.—

We humans are totally unaware of the psychology of bacteria and hence can only make sweeping statements. An animal's perception of the world is entirely different from our own.

Ideas form the pillars on which human race exists, but without people to feel and create them or get them based on their intutions and observations and deductions, nothing would be possible.

Further the ability to conceive ideas differ from person to person and is inturn tuned by the gene and the environment. The emotions triggered in response to external/internal events depend on the inner genetic makeup of the individual and are further fine tuned by the external cultural + social + familial backgrounds...and may be further influenced and altered by one's advancing age.

All these changes are effected differently in different persons

Well since shaka has put in his joke for us, why can't some others start responding ??

cute...I like Capman

damn....that was funny and nasty but I have an open mind....

THE LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT. . .
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
> > Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
the night of April 1st?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the
porch and sat down beside me.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Why not?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
died some 30 years ago.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: What happened next?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Why not?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I
> haven't felt that good in years!
> >
> > Defense Attorney: What happened next?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just
laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
> >
> > Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
> >
> > Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's
when I shot him, the little bastard

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He
smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her
attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what
are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"They're not spiders, sweetheart, they're called Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent

question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled,thought for a
moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

"Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."