How do police solve redneck murders? All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records... I don't get it.
Redneck Murder
While we are talking about rednecks, here are some tips for any of you that may have figured out how to use the interwebz and are having this read to you...
(Manners)
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always try and identify the people in your yard BEFORE shooting at them.
3. It is considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you are certain you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
(Driving Ettiquette)
6. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles... even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
7. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires ALWAYS has the right-of-way.
8. Never tow another vehicle using only pantyhose and duct tape.
9. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
10. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially if you are driving.
And some dating (outside the family) tips:
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially if it's the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let het know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago".
3. Though uncomfortable, you should wear shoes... and socks.
4. Livestock is NOT a better first date gift than flowers.
(Manners)
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always try and identify the people in your yard BEFORE shooting at them.
3. It is considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you are certain you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
(Driving Ettiquette)
6. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles... even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
7. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires ALWAYS has the right-of-way.
8. Never tow another vehicle using only pantyhose and duct tape.
9. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
10. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially if you are driving.
And some dating (outside the family) tips:
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially if it's the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let het know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago".
3. Though uncomfortable, you should wear shoes... and socks.
4. Livestock is NOT a better first date gift than flowers.
If this image is in any way inclusive of random daydreaming scenarios...
Check your background.
Check your background.
HAHAHAHAHA!
LMAO
If You've Ever Been Told That You Are Lieing Through Your Tooth You Might Be A Redneck
You Might Be A Red Neck If......
you Are Looking For A Girl Freind At Your Family Reunion
You Might Be A Red Neck If......
you Are Looking For A Girl Freind At Your Family Reunion
Check your background.
I suppose it is just me being old fashioned, but really, don't you think that rose tattoo detracts from the overall allure of her look? I mean really, shouldn't it be over the LEFT breast——
Upon reflection, I really do need to get out more, don't I.....
LOL!!! Oh dof. 🙂
LMAO
This is off topic.....
So, VB, about that avatar you are currently using, how many guys have asked "How do I get that monkey on MY back?"
Or better yet, "How do I get that monkey on IT'S back?!?!?"
Just asking, you know, just so the DXP community knows....
So, VB, about that avatar you are currently using, how many guys have asked "How do I get that monkey on MY back?"
Or better yet, "How do I get that monkey on IT'S back?!?!?"
Just asking, you know, just so the DXP community knows....
LMAO — Purely in the interest of knowledge mind...inquiring minds and all that.
It was a birthday pressie a couple years back from my Capricorn friend. She thought I needed a boost, she was right.
They should put our scale on the front of some tighty whities
LOL Lawdy Lawd.
^ That would be SO easy to put on a t, take maybe 20 minutes plus dry time. 🙂 This fellow just because he's so durned cute I can't stand it.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Although it does kinda look like he's swinging/dangling there too. 😄
o
🙂
Dunno what the 'o' is there for, but alright. 😄
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
...cause queefahs gon queef.
Justin Beiber was found alive and well in his home this morning.
I am looking for opinions please... A or B
Ok..I'm in the miscellaneous section so I can't be in the wrong section lol.. What the heck is the game, I'm not talki
Today, I found out my 7 year old daughter's dad had passed away. I have a 9 year old daughter he's also raised as his o
Whats your occupation? Do you love it? Is this what you always planned to do? Are you content with your occup
<----------------- what molecule is this?
Ok, so I seriously need to buy a new car and I'm losing my mind. I don't know where in my chart it says this, but I HATE
By analyzing the Moon phase and gender prediction techniques, you will be able to determine the sex of your future child
i want to know your take on this: can being raised in a predominantly male environment cause little girls to be grow up
Let us play a game. It's called what favorite curse word does what dxp member love. If you can not think of a curse wor
No, this isn't the sequel to my Size Queens and Skanks thread, although I did thoroughly enjoy that one. Instead, I'
Where did Dom's I'm expecting a big (sex) change thread go :(
Recently I have been very seriously considering going back to college and switching my career to teaching. I am looking
mine is the smell of leather. I used to smell my dads coat all the time. when I first met my bf I didn't hear half of w
So Catfish and I are in the process of moving. Been packing for the past two days and I stumbled upon a box that I've b
This cruel and inhumane treatment has been ALLOWED to go on throughout history! It is time for this to stop! The pain an
dating. do you agree or disagree with the above?