scratch the thought of an ideal relationship

okae well, these days in movies relatoinships seem like they ALWAYs have to be filled with sparks. But couples irl, do you guys really need every bit of a moment to be special? Do your relationship go stale sometimes even if you guys are in love?? Does this mean you should necessarily give up and move on or is this just a "normal" occurance that every relationship endures at times. If so... what do you think and do about it?

Well, relationships are not always rosy.I mean you will have your ups and downs. That's life. You can't give up that easy.

Yeah, Luz...real life is nothing like the movies! What do I do about it?? It depends on what is good and what is bad about my relationship...I analyze it closely and give it time...but, if there ends up to be more bad than good, I do move on!
If it is more good...I continue with it, and liven it up with a shake-up call now and then!

Luz, it's totally normal to have moments of mundane, sparkless, "boring" interaction with your S.O. Yes, it's annoying and we'd all love it if relationships were all-butterflies-all-the-time, but that would be ABnormal. Think of it this way: if you never had any boring moments, you would eventually get tired of the constant sparks, thus making it an even more boring relationship. And if you never feel bored with your S.O., how can you also know the highs of excitement with him or her? We have to have some sort of variety in our relationships or anything becomes stale, even good times would become stale if there were no mundane times to measure the good times against.

BUT.

If you're constantly bored, never feel sparks and feel trapped by routine, it may be time to move on. But only if you're ALWAYS feeling that way. People always say, "looks don't matter to me", but that is such a crock...you have to be attracted physically to your partner in order to feel those "sparks". Even if he isn't attractive in a traditional sense, he has to do it for YOU. Even if you're only attracted to his mind or personality or something (which I theorize can actually make that person seem more hot physically), at least you're still feeling sparks. But if it's all *yawn* to you, then it would be time to reconsider whether you're beating a dead horse by staying in the relationship.

of course! well, what pheonix rising said. If you feel trapped and confined constantly and you're not benefitting from your partner whatsoever, well, then that's a good sign that maybe you'll find better elsewhere.

But having a partner doesn't mean your life will be full of sweet spontaniety and constant stimulation and sparks. And if you expect that constantly, then that can even ruin the relationship. You're just going through life with another person, you guys are going at it together...hm...how do i explain...think of it as, a partner isn't someone who's there to tickle your fancy and amuse and entertain you, a partner is just someone you love who you share your life with, even the dullest of moments. The point is dull or not, you're there for each other and living it together.
adsjf;alksdjf;akldfjaf;ajsldkf...i donno...it's hard for me to explain. Well, being straightfoward with you, MOVIES LIE! They embellish reality and exagerrate everything to irrational perfection, so there! LIES!

Very true. And they totally do it on purpose, the movies usually represent life style s that people in the real world could never get away with having, and over-the-top romances that could only be imagined. And that's why we go to see them, because we can escape into a fantasy world and wish we lived like the people in the movies do. Or not. Movies will appeal to the hopeful, emotional, longing sides of us as long as we pay to see that stuff (and isn't it amazing that we pay to see it?! That is really fascinating!)

thanks everyone for your responses 🙂 the beginnings are always interesting...

I love the beginning of a relationship! But, it isn't a deciding factor in determining if the relationship will last!
I think guys try harder in the beginning and that is why females always wistfully remember those special moments...

I'm so weird, I am happiest once past the beginning of the relationship. I feel like I know what I've gotten into finally at that point, which brings me a sense of security.

you're not weird, you just like security my dear

me too star!! ^^ its so interesting LOL i dont know..i think im more in love with the beginnings than going with the process of developing a relationship..but thats just me, but i like the relationship im in right now ^^ it always feels like its starting off fresh.

I like the idea of it always feeling like it is starting off fresh, Luz! That sounds cool...

I can understand liking security Phoenix..that is not weird. I think that is why women get frustrated with dating Aquarian males...women like to know where they stand and Aquarian males like to keep them guessing...
Sort of...

Arrggghhh!

I am having my low time of the month where I feel insecure and I HATE it!!!! Blah!

why do you feel insecure? and what do you feel insecure about? i can sorta relate..

yeah my friend is dating an aquarian and she doesnt know where she stands or what he feels for her..

Hey Luz! You're here!

Well...every now and then I feel like I am not gorgeous enough or some damn stupid thing like that...

Media influenced...

I totally understand that, its hard to deal with wanting to be something that you cant have...but it's weird how others see you differently than how you see yourself..

mind boggling @,@

Thing is, I am happy with how I look and all...

I just worry about how I measure up to other women in my guy's eyes...
yet, it is me that worries and not related to anything he does...
it is just stupid!!

i'm sure your man doesnt care about other women, maybe he might stare and all but atleast he doesnt take any action upon it since you know..i think he wants you rather than some random girl.. and besides!! your personality is #1 so obviously, what more can he ask? 🙂

LOL!

ROFL! no problem!! ^^

How are things with you?

things are okae..not very "interesting" these days. Nothing new, which is annoying. i think ima take the public bus so i can take dance. And ima get a job so i can pay off those dance classes since i dont wanna depend on my parents for that.

That sounds fun...what kind of dance?

either jazz, hip hop, locking, pump, etc etc

what about you star? anything going on?

not really...

My guy and I were talking about taking Tae Kwon Do classes together...
but, our schedules don't match very well right now...

Hey Luz...I'm gonna hafta go...gotta catch some zzzzz's! Later girl! Luv ya!

^^neato 🙂

I was going to take kickboxing a while before, but I'm noticing that nothing is really free in this world, and I'm having a hard time adjusting to that. I find myself saying things that old geezers say, like, "you've got to be kidding me, that costs how much?? I remember when it cost 2 bucks..." or any variation of that. lol

LOL Phoenix - I find myself saying things like that and I have to constantly remind myself i'm in my twenties, not my seventies!!! LOL - I'm not ready to be Abe Simson yet!

I can't find enough good things to say about martial arts - I do kung fu and did tae kwon do as a child - heaps of fun! It's become a priority financially ie. I'll go without food before I go without kung fu lol. So if you get the chance, do it!

As to the topic of this thread......I think i've given up on the idea of a perfect relationship - I have WAAAAAAAAY too many issues personally, but I think on a greater level, people are influenced far too much by the media and the myth of what a perfect relationship should be.

LOL both Phoenix and Cortica! I can relate! Thing is, I DO remember price comparisons! But, I am not ready to be old yet, either...

I guess you are right, Cortica. A person needs to decide for themselves what their priorities are and divy out the cash accordingly. I took tae kwon do years ago with my daughter...I loved it!

I agree about how people allow the media (and the many myths that go with it!) to influence them.

Okay I totally want to take some sort of martial artsy thing now!! All you athletic women, I'm very impressed!! LOL, Cortica, could you toss me my cane?? I'm just feeling so faint from all this talk about how much things cost nowadays!! lol 🙂 Seriously...I remember when I was a kid in elementary school and I ate lunch in the cafeteria, one of those teensy little milk cartons cost 75 cents, but by the time I was in high school, they cost like $ 2.50! Now come on! Okay, I got my geezerly price comparison urge out of my system...for today. lol.

But back to the topic, I agree that the media is a huge influence. I wonder why it has gotten so powerful?? I mean, it's very disturbing to consider that we are all (I'm sure myself included) so easily mastered and guided and influenced by this essentiall fake thing. The TV shows, the movies, even the news shows sometimes (*coughFOXNEWScough* lol) when you think about it, are almost completely false in every way. They're all made up stories (or in the case of Fox News, exaggerated or biased-ly reported "real" stories) that were specifically designed by old guys in suits to tug on our heartstrings and get us to pay to watch. It's so strange...

*essentiallY...if I could actually spell...

lol, wow that was random