urban dictionary

HoeBag:1. A female who loves penis in general.
2. A female who will do anything sexually with any penis.


Condomplate:to contemplate whether or not a condom is needed in the heat of a sexual act.
1. Jimmy had some serious condomplating to do when he was having a hard time opening the condom wrapper.

2. While Jenny was waiting for Jimmy to open the condom wrapper she condomplated whether the condom was necessary or not, she was on birth control after all.

Text Purgatory:The time period one waits for a response to a flirtatious text.
Dave was in text purgatory after sending Kiri "drinks later?"

nerdjacking:In conversation, digressing into extreme and/or unnecessary detail about one's passion (music, coding, gaming) to an otherwise uninitiated layperson, without awareness or acknowledgement of the listener??s rapidly waning interest or lack of understanding of the subject at hand.
Clyde held Stella??s attention briefly, until he began nerdjacking the conversation by talking about World of Warcraft for 4 uncomfortable minutes.

cockblocalypse:When you're out at the bar and you get cockblocked SO BAD it's like the end of the world as you know it.
"What's up with Gurpreet?"
- "Oh, last night, Trong brought the cockblocalypse upon him"

computer-face:v. to squint and kind of frown as you look at your computer to give the illusion that you are in fact very busy analyzing something vital to your work;

often used in conjunction with paper-shuffling and calling numbers that you know won't answer then acting really frustrated when you hang-up so that it gives the impression your chasing a very important account and have a lot on your plate already
After I computer-faced facebook for an hour this morning, I called a random number and talked to an older gentleman for 27 minutes about the prospect of leasing his mineral rights until he realized he didn't own any mineral rights, so I hung-up and went back to computer-facing a New York Times article about fashion week.

concern troll
A person who posts on a blog thread, in the guise of "concern," to disrupt dialogue or undermine morale by pointing out that posters and/or the site may be getting themselves in trouble, usually with an authority or power. They point out problems that don't really exist. The intent is to derail, stifle, control, the dialogue. It is viewed as insincere and condescending.
A concern troll on a progressive blog might write, "I don't think it's wise to say things like that because you might get in trouble with the government." Or, "This controversy is making your side look disorganized."

cellular faux

(n.) a social phenomenon wherein which a person acts as though he is on his cell phone in order to shield himself from uncomfortable situations.
When Peggy saw the bum approaching, she flipped open her LG and began laughing incessantly as though someone had told a joke on the other end of the line. Still penniless, the bum's plan was thwarted by cellular faux.

Thanks Pb. I've pulled a couple of cellular faux's myself lol.