Something The Matter With Me?

I'm not sure what it is- and I was wondering if anyone could have experienced or is experiencing what I'm currently feeling.

Over the past few years, I've noticed a progression in how I've been handling the social aspects of my life. I'm an introvert, so making friends or finding compatible romantic partners, has never been easy, but whenever I make new friendships, they are short lived due to overall incompatibility (differing values, interests, life style s, methods of communication, etc.), the other person's selfishness (being consumed with their own lives, issues, etc...). All in all, finding friends has been a never ending cycle of disappointments. The only people I consider my true friends would be my parents, and my only sibling. It's embarrassing- but I only enjoy spending time with them. I'm in my mid-thirties and had to return home to save some money. I've come to a place where I don't even enjoy going out anymore. The few phone calls I receive from the people I consider my associates- that actually want to spend time with me- I don't even have the desire to return those calls. In fact, I find that I don't enjoy spending time with them either.

I find that I don't meet many people with the same interests. I suppose I'm an old soul. I've started groups and clubs, only to witness that no one participates (another disappointment). I'm in the process of trying to discover why I'm even on this planet. I do enjoy helping people- but I find out, when I do help others, they become entirely too dependent on me and display needy, selfish behavior. When I try to make time for myself, they become angry and don't understand. I just feel like giving up all together on finding friends and just continue to become content with my family and own company.

However, I know one day I will be back out on my own- my parents will not always be there- my sibling will have her own family- and I will truly be alone.

What is the matter with me? I feel like hiding and fading away...

Anyone else feeling the same? If so, how did you overcome this?

Thanks in advance...

I think it's a perpetual cycle ... The way I've always broken out of it is by "feeling myself" ... Not being dirty. I mean, I work out, take care of myself better, do my hair and dress up. THAT makes me feel more confident and I step out of my comfort zone. Work on my routine, manners, faith etc. That jazz.

I started thinking maybe I'm not supposed to marry, or have children. That my life path needs a dramatic shift.

Whose to say. It changes so frequently.

But that's how I break my cycle. I get sexy = confidence = new paths and new people and some stick, some don't.



Is it a mindset to crave things we don't plan on being ready for? I read you're supposed to change your life and create the existence you want first. Like envisioning the partner you want and becoming who they deserve first before venturing out. Does this make sense?

I challenge you to read (maybe even analyse) your own post in the perspective of how you (seem to) view other people. What vibe do you think you project to people out there due to this?

I don't think there is necessarily Anything wrong with you. Sounds like you like your alone time. Do you feel like you push people away from you subconsciously ? I feel like it can't always be them. That's just my 2 cents.

Oh & what Mohini said - Get sexy