8:30pm and I haven't left work because....

I think I might have done something wrong and then again, I could just be freaking out on the INSIDE for no good reason. I swear I wasn't even thinking and it hit me a couple of hours ago. A young Scorp who I messed around with (we never had sex though) messaged me the other night and needed a place to stay. So...yeah, you know what happened. Well, now that he's at my house (hence why I haven't gone home just yet)...I'm realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this. I'm afraid that a wee bit of me MIGHT still be attracted to this young Scorpio. He's staying in my son's room for...*sighs* 5 days. Now that my conscious is awake and screaming at me, I feel bad. Like REALLY bad. I'm going camping tomorrow morning so I won't see him until Sunday...maybe. I completely forgot about how it was when we hooked up/messed around, until now. I don't understand how it didn't hit me before when he asked if he could come stay at my place.

Maybe this is a chance for COMPLETE closure. I still have his hat and have kept it over the past 18 months since he left it at my place the first time we made out. We haven't done anything since...spring of 2014, but the thing that I forgot is how things "heat up between us" when we stand close together. Maybe I'm just being paranoid and there won't be anything there when we get in the same room. He got into a relationship with someone and literally had to avoid me at the bar that we go to, because every single time he would see me...he'd be drawn to me and vice versa. The last time we saw each other he came by briefly last summer to pick up some of my piss to pass a piss test. Don't ask. smh From then til now, we've just PM'd on Facebook from time to time, but going into these deep convos about our S/O's.

Me and my fucking sub-conscious and generosity. I swear...I was JUST thinking about this dude like...3 weeks ago and remembering all of this crazy connected energy between us and when he called me in crisis mode, I just completely/conveniently forgot. Maybe I thought he wasn't serious and wasn't going to come over. IDK. As transparent as I've been with my guy, I never told him about this guy...I think I might have mentioned him as a "friend"...which he really is JUST A FRIEND. I just "conveniently" forgot about the other stuff. This is the part of Pisces that people HATE, but I swear on my kids I didn't do it on purpose/consciously. I won't see my guy this weekend either. That hurts.

Yeah, it definitely sounds like that was a bad choice. Besides, I can't see your scorpio being okay with a guy friend staying over like that. If you haven't told him and he somehow finds out, that could put your relationship into a bad spot. Not that you should need his permission to make your own choices, but at least making him aware beforehand and gauging his reaction to figure out exactly how important letting your buddy stay over is would have been a better idea. If you are having second thoughts, just remember you can kick him out at any point. You're not obligated to let him stay there even if you initially gave the okay. You should try to stay aware of your words and actions around this guy, as well. But, you might as well take action and do something instead of stalling and staying away.

Girl...false alarm. Lol...I finally came home and he hugged me right when I got in the door...I felt NOTHING! In fact, he is in such an unhealthy place right now that it's a turn off. That's good. I just needed to be able to tell my guy about it without throwing off any vibes. Now I can. Happy, happy joy joy. I was so afraid of having a convo with him about it and then him picking up some attraction energy. It was never about whether or not I would cheat on my guy or anything like that, but I was afraid that I would need to hide something from him...which I don't ever want to do. You know?