Aqua plays the dissecting game with Pisces

Okay I'm burnt out from thinking about it by myself so now I thin it's time to ask for some professional help 😛 If you frequent the Aqua board you'd probably know already but here goes. I'll be as accurate as I can be without getting my own emotions involved. (incoming novel)

This is the pisces girl I've talked about here before. My feelings for her remain the same for now edging towards the "hang on you might be worth it". It might really just be my guard but I think the fact I have not said anything like bursting out with a "OMG I LIKE YOU" probably means I'm actually thinking REAL hard about this one.

So I left it at having an amazing chemistry and connection with this fish. Left it at that seeing outside of the few days we work together I haven't really asked her to come out with me. I think my actions at work may have said otherwise because honestly I can't help but care for her. Started noticing the little things like she would ask what I want for dinner and get irritated when I make it myself. Having bandaids on for her to say oh you cut yourself and following on from the unusually long glances at each other. Sitting down with me during her break when she could've sat at a more comfy seat.

Now if I remove my own emotions, her actions may be mirroring mine. The fact that on the first day she cut her finger open and I went out of my way to make sure she had that treated perhaps she felt the need to repay it. The dinner part? Who knows maybe because I'm in charge of food there and I usually make her dinner and she wants to repay that again. Long gazes? Well I'll be damned if I haven't caught myself staring at her, even I would look back and politely smile. And spending time with me on her break? Perhaps I'm one of the few friends while she's travelling abroad. Nothing here I can't pass off as just generally being friendly.

I was interested to see if it was more so I asked her a few times. Seems like she likes the planning better. Chalked it off as being the traveller time is more precious to her than it is me. Of the few times hanging out for some reason we only talked about relationships and life experiences.

More recently she's started texting me late at night wanting to just talk but she'd always add in the 'as friends' part, kinda odd for me but I guess it's a polite way of saying 'don't get the wrong idea'. This is when we just sat and drank and really talked about the raw emotions.

tbc down

Few nights ago we caught up for drinks with a couple of her mates. At the end of the night we were going back to her place and I said to her that I think it's a better idea if we just split and I go home, she agreed. At this point she said this:

"I talked to my uncle about Jamaica and I think it's going ahead. I was just visiting Australia but now I wish I could've stayed longer. You're a good person and I want us to know each other more. I'm sorry but for now it is just friends..."

I literally just muttered "I'll miss you" and she said "I know. But know you'll be my only Australian friend".

WHICH IS ALL FINE by the way until she gave me a hug which I tried to break short but she just wouldn't let go. Now this send my brain into overdrive. The follow up text "Good night my sweet guy" made it even worse. I KNOW i have a habit of viewing things from my perspective so now I really am asking. Am I really just seeing more here? Is this a fish language for friendliness? I've had a bad history this year so far with this and I don't want to make the same mistake again.

Want more drama? My coworkers have said before she has a boyfriend back in germany. It's something she's never spoken about with me. But recently they've changed their tune to "Tell her how you feel, she will 100% stay here longer for you". Here lies my question I honestly don't know what to feel with all this information in my head.

I'm not down with all the details of your story - but - I do think you have to figure out how you feel, and then act accordingly. Stop trying to analyse what is going on with her brain/heart. You'll know once you figure out how you feel and do something about it. Stop sitting on the fence, decide if you are willing to risk her as a friend for something more.

Chances are (as a woman) she has already considered it. If I (personally) had already considered a male friend as potential bf material, and decided that it wasn't viable, I would make damn sure to not give off mixed signals. Regardless, F trying to find the answer through anyone but her.

Answer this:
Do you want to remain friends without a doubt?
Is it worth the risk of losing the friendship from potential heartbreak?
Would you still be friends if she didn't feel more deeply for you?
Are you willing to wonder 2-3 or 10-15 years down the road... what if?

Posted by aquasnoz

"I talked to my uncle about Jamaica and I think it's going ahead. I was just visiting Australia but now I wish I could've stayed longer. You're a good person and I want us to know each other more. I'm sorry but for now it is just friends..."

Fuck reading comprehension. Forget what I said too. Sounds like it's a done deal for her right now. She's going. Perhaps you need to open up to her though so that she might plan to come back sooner rather than later?

hahahah see! I fucking skipped over the part about possibly having a bf back home too.
Grrrr!

All in all, you're being a man, and wanting that which you cannot have. (meant in the nicest way possible)

Thanks guys, it's good to know I'm not alone in my thinking. Deezie and Ninjafish YES when she said that it really threw me off. I knew she was leaving anyway, what good did it do to tell me that? to me it was a provocation and it worked! 😢

Poisson: I really hope to god this boyfriend exists because it'll make my choice a lot easier. At this point I don't care about my own feelings because I've thrown my heart out on the line so many times that I can safely say even if it's not mutual it won't stop me from being the friend that I am now.

Just a few things stand out like the hug and that line. She's going up to Brisbane so it'll give me plenty of time to think about things til she comes back to Syd and stay with me for a while. Staying with me... that in itself can turn out bad in so many ways.

Oh and I understand wanting things that are unattainable. It's more so my brain has been churning over and over I need a resolution to the logic behind what happened. And I know it's a novel, even I skip long novels like these but everything I can conceive is probably in there. I'm not defending my own blinded views but trying counter it with logic, most probable reason for whatever is happening.

I'm more so interested to see what you guys think of the situation given I only understand my own sign and tendencies. I can't chalk it up to my pisces moon and water placements here to try and work out what she thinks. I've always been bad at that. I really don't mind it if you guys are brutally honest, if you guys think I'm way over thinking this by all means I'll agree but I can't help being like this 😛

I can often feel very "not threatened" by aquas, and therefore more free to be a true version of myself. Kind, helpful, 'of service'. I don't do it because I have feelings - but because it's in my nature.

I have a friendship like this with an aqua guy I work with right now.

Posted by Poisson
If you're satisfied with just being friends, you have to resign yourself from the over analizing and reading into every little thing she says and does. You will drive yourself crazy doing that - and you might just end up wearing a giant dunce cap on your head. Why wear a dunce cap when you can wear a fake mustache.

She's right you know.... on the serious part, and the hilarious part 🙂

Well can't say I haven't done the fake moustache before 🙂 Anyway been holding off on replying to this. Still not sure where things are heading but eh, just enjoying whatever time is left I guess.

Found out about the whole boyfriend thing. It's been the ex-boyfriend she's been telling me about for a long time. I did end up telling her and she just said she doesn't know, she can't give me 100% right now because of the travels and university back in Germany. That's all fair enough for me! Maybe somewhere just a little bit inside I am still expecting there to be something but honestly it is up to her to decide.

What was sweet was when we were having a discussion about our exs. She asked how long it took me to get over my first love and I told her I don't know if I did but there just came a time where you put those feelings aside and live life. She mentioned how she never felt ready to move on. I just acknowledged it and nudged her and said "hey it gets better, takes a lot of time but you'll find someone to love again" and she just smiled and looked at me, grabbed my hand and said "I think I'm ready now".

Whatever the outcome I guess I'll know in March when she goes back. We still have plans to spend christmas together, small holiday somewhere then back to Sydney for her birthday in March when she goes back. Biding the time. Really don't know what's in store for me now.

Posted by IntriguedScorp
How about stop removing your emotions with it? Start there...

Aquas SMH

You know you secretly love us!!! 😄