Friend dilemma for birthday celebration

MY birthday and I want them both to be there. The Cancer told me I should just call the Libra to at least give her a heads up before I send out the Evite to let her know I am inviting both and that I really want her to be there. I am afraidHello everyone and thanks in advance for your responses. I am a March 17th Pisces that is planning a birthday get together at a local pub/restaurant we all hang out at. I have just started hanging around a group of wonderful single ladies that I used to hang out with years ago and have become friends with some new ones in the group.
The problem I have is there is a major feud between the Pisces and the Libra in the group that stems back way before my time with them. I get along with both women soooo well and we totally click but they do not hang out with one another at ALL! I am close to both of them now and want to invite both to my celebration but the Libra has left or not come to some get togethers that she knows the Pisces will be at or is coming to.
Little background: We are all grown women in our 30's and I think this is a bit ridiculous and childish. The Pisces is willing to come to events where the Libra will be and just not interact with her personally. She doesn't want the friendship any longer b/c she thinks the Libra is a drama queen and used to exclude her on purpose from many doings in the past but she doesn't want to cause division in the group.
The Libra is unwilling to do this though. One of our other mutual friends who is a Cancer gave me advice b/c she was having to deal with the same thing and got fed up with feeling like she was excluding one or the other and invited them both to a get together last night and the Libra left when she knew the Pisces was almost there.
I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings and this is she will not come and I am friends with a lot of her family as well that I am also inviting. I love both of these women dearly and get along with each of them so well.
What to do...what to do?
I know it sounds so elementary but it is truly a real situation that I am having to deal with and I HATE it!

What to do....what to do?
Tell me what your opinion is Pisces or any other sign!

The beginning of my post somehow was skewed when I copied and pasted. Sorry b/c it sounds a bit weird in the beginning.

You should start at the Hello....lmao! Sorry about that folks! 😉

"and I think this is a bit ridiculous and childish"



That ^^^^ is irrelevant. This isn't about how you feel or what you think .. it's about how they feel and think.

And if the Libra is uncomfortable .. then you should honor her feelings and leave her out of it, if this is her choice.


Sounds to me that she doesn't want to be there and the reason why this is an issue to you is because you want advise on how to force the issue because you don't agree with how she feels ... if you truly are her friend, then you would leave it alone and let her live.

Posted by P-Angel
"and I think this is a bit ridiculous and childish"



That ^^^^ is irrelevant. This isn't about how you feel or what you think .. it's about how they feel and think.

And if the Libra is uncomfortable .. then you should honor her feelings and leave her out of it, if this is her choice.


Sounds to me that she doesn't want to be there and the reason why this is an issue to you is because you want advise on how to force the issue because you don't agree with how she feels ... if you truly are her friend, then you would leave it alone and let her live.

That is my opinion as far as thinking we can deal with this as mature adults on the situation, I cannot lie. I understand that it doesn't make a difference in how they respond and I haven't voiced it to her or even meddled in their situation.
I am not trying to "force" the issue but actually want advice on how to handle it when I love them both and don't want to hurt their feelings. I was actually going to exclude the Pisces and do something separate with her but realized that wouldn't be fair to her either when she had already invited me to her party and she already knows about it. The trouble is that the Libra does want to be there and that is why it's hard for me b/c we had already talked about the party and her family coming as well. I think she "expects" me not to invite the Pisces and I just can't do that b/c that is not fair. I AM her friend and that is my dilemma. Of course I will understand if she doesn't come and I won't pressure her to come and I "would leave it alone and let her live". I was just posting something that is dear to my heart and that I am conflicted about.

Typical Pisces .. thinking this is something that involves you, and you are supposed to do something about it.



Leave it alone .. there is no issue .. because the fact that the Libra doesn't like the other is none of your business.

Posted by P-Angel
Typical Pisces .. thinking this is something that involves you, and you are supposed to do something about it.



Leave it alone .. there is no issue .. because the fact that the Libra doesn't like the other is none of your business.

Did you even read what I wrote— I don't understand why you are such a negative person when you reply to people.
It actually does involve me brainiac! It's MY birthday celebration I am speaking about. I am friends with BOTH of them.
I am not saying the actual issue is my business and that is why I stay out of the actual issue and I don't press that part with EITHER of them!
I am not trying to "DO" something about their issue with one another! My issue is what to do about two people I want to invite and not hurt either's feelings. Whether they both come is their prerogative and I will NOT be upset with either one of them if they do not come as I am their friend and I do know how to be a true friend!
I DO wish they could both come and it is an issue that is dear to my heart so that is again why I posted this thread for other people to maybe give advice if they have been in this situation. I am not "FORCING" anyone to come.
You could try and be a little nicer when you respond to others and maybe they would take your advice more readily. I have read many of your posts and even though you present valid input you put it in such a negative manner sometimes that people have a hard time listening to you. Sometimes it seems like you only read what you want to in a post and just go off on the poster and you can come off as a mean person.

Posted by ianthefish
dont mind the bitch...

invite them both, let them decide if they want to come....

Thank you Ian for your "kind" response...lol. I appreciate the input. :-)

Sigh just invite them both and express you would appreciate them both making an appearance as you find both their company to be endearing and valuable non more than another. That you respect their need to distance from one another. You just want your freinds there. The problem is not yours, thats true. However if they are truly your friends they will both show up regardless of past issues. If the libra backs off on that one then i would say she truly is a drama queen and let her spend her evenings alone and friendless. If shes going to miss out on a party honoring your birthday becasue shes got a grudge she cant step around for one night. Then shes not your friend at all shes just a selfish sow.

So write her up a nice invite and if shes a no show then just stop worrying about her or inviting her to anything. Let her figure it out on her own and be happy with the friends who are truly there for you!

"Whether they both come is their prerogative and I will NOT be upset with either one of them if they do not come as I am their friend and I do know how to be a true friend!"


Of course you'd be upset if one of them didn't come ... hence, the purpose of this thread = to figure out a way to have both of them come so YOUR feelings will be happy.



"You could try and be a little nicer"

You could try to be a little less ignornant.

Posted by P-Angel
"Whether they both come is their prerogative and I will NOT be upset with either one of them if they do not come as I am their friend and I do know how to be a true friend!"


Of course you'd be upset if one of them didn't come ... hence, the purpose of this thread = to figure out a way to have both of them come so YOUR feelings will be happy.



"You could try and be a little nicer"

You could try to be a little less ignornant.

I feel bad for you P b/c you think you know so much but you are just a bitter woman who tries to make everyone you interact with on DXP miserable. You can't tell me how I would react or feel. I determine and know that. You don't know me at all so take your "know it all" attitude and shove it where the sun don't shine!!!

I didn't want to hurt their feelings and my anguish came b/c I care about both of them and wish that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable in the same place as the other. If I didn't care about them then I wouldn't have had a dilemma to post about!

Good news (although not for you P) is that they are both coming and the Libra appreciated that I sent her a personal email to give her a heads up and she cares enough about me that she is coming despite her feelings for the Pisces.
At least people like me and I hope you P can adjust your attitude and maybe some people would like you too!

Posted by thefish
Sigh just invite them both and express you would appreciate them both making an appearance as you find both their company to be endearing and valuable non more than another. That you respect their need to distance from one another. You just want your freinds there. The problem is not yours, thats true. However if they are truly your friends they will both show up regardless of past issues. If the libra backs off on that one then i would say she truly is a drama queen and let her spend her evenings alone and friendless. If shes going to miss out on a party honoring your birthday becasue shes got a grudge she cant step around for one night. Then shes not your friend at all shes just a selfish sow.

So write her up a nice invite and if shes a no show then just stop worrying about her or inviting her to anything. Let her figure it out on her own and be happy with the friends who are truly there for you!

Thank you thefish! I appreciated your input and I guess it means she is a true friend since she is coming! You give great advice on your threads and I like hearing what you have to say! :-)

Miss Patty...... I feel ya pain!!! My sister just went through something simialr. She's a pices, on the 4th, and my other good friend is a Pisces too, on the 26th of Feb. They planned on doing a joined birthday celebration, but other friends of ours decided to get their panties in a twist over details and such. They wanted to do dinner, but most people were working, so they planned on just going out and drink. Some friends they had not talked to because of things that had happened in the past, but my sis was the bigger person and invited everyone. It caused an uproar, and certain people used that opportunity to lash out.

My sister called in tears saying that they weren't going to do anything because everyone was fighting again, and taht she didn't know what to do. I told her to send out a collective e-mail to everyone, and tell them that you're meeting up for drinks at place X and that who wanted to join is more than welcome to come celebrate, but to be ready to get drunk and get rowdy. I told her to put in the e-mail that only happy faces show and that it was a night of celebration and if you didn't want to show up then that was fine. To her and my other friends surprise, everyone showed up and everyone ended up having a great time.

Do the same.... you can't force people to be together, but they need to understand that this is under different circumstances and it's your birthday. just be up front with both of them and tell them how it is going to be, that you would wish them to both be there. Sounds like from what you are saying that the Libra is being the more stubborn one. All you can do is invite them both, but if the Libra doesn't show up, then she is excluding herself and showing disrespect towards you. She can at least make an appearance in honor of your birthday, and then leave early if the Pisces offends her that much.

Goes to show that no matter how old you are, women will always be up to their tricks!!!!! Hope it works out for you!!!

And don't mind P-Nasty..... she's a bitch to just about everyone. Negative little contraption she is. And no, she didn't read anything you wrote. She just read what stuck out and based her opinion on that one thing, and then backs her opinion with nasty comments. She's waste of energy.....

"And don't mind P-Nasty..... she's a bitch to just about everyone. Negative little contraption she is. And no, she didn't read anything you wrote. She just read what stuck out and based her opinion on that one thing, and then backs her opinion with nasty comments. She's waste of energy....."

I so agree!! I shouldn't even respond to her but I have been seeing so many of her negative posts that it just really got under my skin on this one. I should've just continued to ignore her.

Thank you so much MIA! I really appreciate what you have to say on the threads b/c you have a good head on your shoulders and you are kind about it. I am glad that the Libra is being so sweet about it and she wrote me a message that "we are going to have so much fun on your birthday". So all is ell and there is no more dilemma. I know either woman will not say anything to the other and we will have a rockin' good time! There are so many people coming that I don't think it would be a problem keeping them apart anyways.

How are you doing as of late? I hope you are okay. Feel free to message me if you need to chat or vent at all. :-)

Posted by Stpatrickspisces

....... You can't tell me how I would react or feel.

Of course I can't ... my thoughts stemmed directly from what you informed us. Such as the below where you "state" how you feel and react.

Posted by Stpatrickspisces
I didn't want to hurt their feelings and my anguish came b/c I care about both of them and wish that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable in the same place as the other.

click to expand

Again ... you could try being a little less ignorant.