How do I get my Pisces girlfriend to stop crying

and just talk to me? I know they're supposed to be sensitive but this is excessive and seems so unnecessary at the degree that she is expressing herself emotionally. When I'm the cause it's very obvious and I'm not asking about that. Yes, sometimes she reacts as being hurt from things I say and then I know why she's upset and don't really need an explanation. However, other times I know for a fact I didn't do or say anything to cause her behavior so I don't understand why she can't just talk to me. I do try to understand her and I guess I feel at a loss and also bad because she reads me so well (she's super sensitive even to my feelings, not just her own) when I am nowhere near as expressive with my emotions as she is. She even seems to sometimes read my mind, but hey, I'm not a mind reader! And I don't know what to do if you don't tell me what's wrong.

When she does finally talk she can be very vague or even evasive if I ask her to elaborate more or will give a reason but it doesn't seem to match the extremeness of her hysterics. It's frustrating. If she would just talk I could help her fix whatever it is. Sometimes she's not in tears, but she will be sad and again won't talk to me or tell me why. She just gets quiet and goes to a different room and ignores me. When she's over it sometimes she will even say she's fine and doesn't need to talk about it because she's past whatever it was.

Pisces general description fits her pretty well - she's very kind-hearted and would do anything for someone else in need. She's also extremely intelligent. You can bring up any topic with her and have a full and satisfying, intellectually stimulating, conversation. I love that about her. She's articulate. My point is she knows how to use words. So, this just irritates me even more.

I never cared about astrology much, but she's so into it among many other things. I remember asking her when we first started dating if we were a good astrological match. She said something along the lines of earth (that would be me) needing water (her) to grow. But I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane and I have no control or say or input.

Found this place looking up Pisces info out of curiosity.

We've been together 8 months and have lived together the last 6 months. I love her. I'm supportive of her. She can openly cry in front of me so why can't she openly communicate the specifics? I've gone over this with her but it's been in vain. I don't think I'm being unreasonab

Nights22, she's 28. The way she comes off most of the time is very happy and open and care-free. Very upbeat and smiling. Great energy. She seems more in control when out in public. There was only one incident where she started up, but it was after she got in the car. It makes me cringe to think of her ever behaving that way for all to see. It just seems when she's home sometimes she turns her happy persona switch off and then has all these feelings.

I don't normally allow my relationships to progress so quickly and when I think everything over I have a hard time making any sensible justification for it, but she was like a dream and I fell hard and fast and wasn't scared the way I normally am when feelings start to develop for someone new. I work 5 days a week, but she would meet up with me during the week after I got off and go out with me on my days off. Then it turned into on my last day of my work week she would come over that night and stay until my work week started up again. She would then start to tell me she didn't want to leave and I didn't want her to leave. After awhile of this I told her to bring enough of her stuff over so she wouldn't have to go for awhile and after a few weeks I told her to get the rest of her stuff and she complied.

It being a trust thing crossed my mind. If that's the reason I'm offended and annoyed. I've told her things that I don't ever talk about with others and she has too to some extent, but when it comes to these down moods she shuts me out and gives me unsatisfying explanations.

Her moon is in Scorpio too, pisces88. Mine is in Libra. Is that a conflict maybe? Give her space, then? I just feel I've been told often (by other women I've dated) that I can be insensitive and even oblivious to emotional needs and I thought if I just let her go do her thing she'd feel like I was ignoring her. I'll consider doing this - I'll wait for the next episode and see how she reacts to that approach. I don't think she's depressed. She's great until she's suddenly not. It doesn't last more than a day when it happens but it happens once every week or two.

Our charts:

Hers
Rising: Gemini
Sun: Pisces
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Aquarius
Venus: Aquarius
Mars: Scorpio
Jupiter: Capricorn
Saturn: Scorpio
Uranus: Sagittarius
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio

Mine
Rising: Libra
Sun: Virgo
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Libra
Venus: Libra
Mars: Cancer
Jupiter: Leo
Saturn: Virgo
Uranus: Scorpio
Neptune: Sagittarius
Pluto: Libra

I'm a Virgo. I think I will buy that book. I am curious and she loves reading books like that.

Do you mean premonition type dreams? I don't think so because she has told me she only has lucid dreams (she controls them). Sometimes nightmares and sleep paralysis related hallucinations as well.

We are very different emotionally, but I don't think it should be seen as a negative. If we were both like her and or even both like me I don't think we would have connected the way we did.

Sometimes I need space too. Not necessarily from just her, but in general and she's never fought me over it or even needed me to say it and I guess she needs the same thing just for different reasons. I just don't want her to think I don't care.

It's so frustrating not getting a sufficient answer to what's going on inside of her in her own words, but I'll be patient.

I don't think criticism is a negative thing. It's necessary and useful. If you see something wrong you should speak up and offer a solution or how else would it be corrected? Accepting something mediocre that could be made better makes no sense to me. For now it's tolerable, but I won't just accept that there's nothing that can be done to change things. I don't think I'm being unreasonable. I've decided to give her space, next time, to see if that makes a difference.

I don't say things to hurt her. I've never been critical out of spite. I also don't smother her with attention. I always get told I don't give enough. Not by her, but other women I've been in relationships with have said this and I don't want her to ever say that to me and her being more sensitive than anyone I've ever been with it makes me worry that I am missing something. A lot of my thoughts that I am sharing here I don't necessarily share with her to the same extent. I am very careful with the words I choose when I talk to her. If I see her start to get upset I'll stop and try again later.

But thank you. You are both (all) very kind for sharing your incite. I really appreciate it.

I will just tell her I'm not going anywhere and I'm here if she needs me and it's okay if she doesn't + give her space.

I hate seeing her sad because I know people always confide in her or come to her for emotional support. She should allow herself the same thing, but I won't push it. I don't want her to swim away 🙂

*insight*

I wish I could edit my comments.

All the Taurus in me looooves me some Virgos, I do. However, you're a LIBRA disguised under a Virgo face. (And THAT is where your abhorrence for "looking bad" in public comes from.) lol Good thing your Mermaid's got so much Aqua underneath.. you might have a fighting chance.

However, her Aqua Mercury (thinking/communication/expression) and Aqua Venus(flirting, love and relationships) is detached and Airy, less emotional.. and at odds with her feeling/sensitive Pisces Sun nature.. and esp her Scorp Moon (emotions) and Scorp Mars (action, drive, way of DOING things). She's got all these deep, heavy, intense Scorpy Moon emotions, and her Scorp Mars is very.. shall we say.. untrusting. She would likely find it very, very difficult to TRUST, and to open up.. but even if she COULD.. her Aqua planets are hampering her ability to not only feel, but to understand, process, and THEN express her maelstrom of conflicting (and probably often very DARK and negative) emotions. So she doesn't even understand them HERSELF, and is likely very frustrated by her own inability to process them and then communicate them to you (like you want).. so she cries.

Fine, so she cries.. sometimes about you, sometimes about things that have nothing to do with you, as far as you can tell (word of caution: maybe watch that "critical" Virgo tongue.. you Virgos cut deeper than you could ever imagine with your "helpful and constructive criticisms".. a Pisces craves Acceptance.. love and acceptance for who/what they are, not a laundry lists of "If Onlys".. once we feel wholly accepted as we are, we WILL change to better ourselves for the relationship.. but never if forced or insisted.. we tend to balk at that, and refuse to change out of spite or blind stubbornness or even a "why bother? nothing will help" sort of dejectedness) But what I noticed is that she doesn't make YOU responsible for her crying or her emotions. In fact, she has basically TOLD you that she just needs to work them out herself, and that there's nothing you can do. No, she doesn't want to talk about the mess she sorts out inside.. she wants to work it out on her own, tyvm. Most Pisces are like this.. they don't WANT or NEED your HELP with their emotions. They just want your love and acceptance. She processes her emotions very differently than you.. is that a problem?

Give her a kiss, stroke her arm or back. Tell her you love her, and you're there for her if she needs you. Then leave her be for awhile. Repeat.

You know.. re-reading this.. it occurred to me... he's not trying to get her to stop having her emotions (and that's very good!).. I think what he's trying to accomplish here.. is that age-old "How do I get my Pisces to open up to me?" question. C'mon, my fellow Pisces peeps.. you know we're so self-contained most of the time, hardly ever let anyone in deeply.. you can see our surface for miles and miles, but deeper? Like where we go when we dive into our Ocean and just feel, process, even cry?

Thing is, Mr Virgo Who Is Really A Libra.. that comes with TIME.. only Time.. time, and trust, and patience.. I know the Libra in you (esp your Mercury!) wants nothing more than to exchange ideas, talk, discuss, share.. it's how you Leeb Mercs CONNECT.. And her Aqua merc WILL help you with this.. I bet you find her incredibly easy to talk to about most things.. except when it comes to getting too close to a Pisces' private, deepest feelings.

I have my own Libra Merc (Virgo Moon! haha) guy.. and he was SO like this.. ALL he wanted was to connect and share.. wanted to talk, discuss everything.. wanted me fully open and transparent to him.. but for the first year or more.. I couldn't do it like he wanted me to.. I had strong, overwhelming, conflicting emotions.. emotions I KNEW I was not ready to share with him.. not because I didn't love him, cuz I did, and I let him in deeper and more quickly than anyone else, ever - and told him so. I guess it's just my private, self-sufficient, contained Pisces nature.. plus, I didn't know how to put it into words. When I hesitantly tried, making myself understood was a struggle, our communication style s were SO different.. many misunderstandings that were only worked out cuz we WANTED it to work out.. through rephrasing, repeating, retreating, regrouping.. until we reach common ground, until we each felt heard and understood. But this wasn't instant.. it took much trial and error! Many, many tries.. three and a half years, and we STILL work at communication, take deep breaths and set aside our knee-jerk reactions (remembering that neither would ever intentionally hurt the other! If it hurt, it was likely not what was meant!), to say, "This is what I heard.." allow the other to say, "No, that is not what I'm saying, I meant this..."

But letting him in, like for real, like revealing the Pisces Secret Stronghold? That took about a year and a half. And I have ZERO Scorp in my chart.. might take longer for someone with Scorp planets

I remember one particular time.. about six months into our relationship... I'm normally so sweet and happy and patient and fun... but I have moods too... one time, I was SO overwhelmed with feelings, emotions.. so much going on, so much I couldn't put into words.. he kept asking me, BEGGING me to TALK to him, to TELL him what was making my eyes so sad. I tried and tried, I could NOT make any words.. nothing would come out.. the thoughts swirled and refused to line up or make sense.. and I just put my head down, and started SOBBING.. SHOCKING him, he'd never seen me like THAT, not like THAT.. he grabbed me and held me, kept begging me to just TALK to him, just TELL him.. I shook my head.. I didn't need his HELP.. I GOT THIS.. I just needed his love, acceptance, and time to work it out.. but I still could not speak..

He finally jokingly asked me if I'd like some crayons to draw him a picture.. I hesitated, then nodded... he grabbed p a notebook and a Sharpie (no crayons haha) and handed them to me, expectantly.. I drew two hearts, one whole, and one jagged and broken and just stared into his eyes... I could SEE he didn't understand.. but he appreciated my effort to make myself understood, and he just held me again, and we lay quietly. A little while later, he softly asked again, "What's wrong, baby?".. I smiled and snuggled closer and said, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." and he said, "I don't understand, I guess. But then again.. you're an Ocean, and I'm a Puddle. But I love you, Ocean."

Even now, when he's trying to give me a gentle reminder that I'm "going too deep" or thinking too deep, or getting lost somewhere, or that I need to just take something at face value and not look for hidden meaning or nuance where there's none... he'll say gently, "Puddle. Ocean.".. it always pulls me back, like a life raft.

I love this man. And he loves me.. and now, I can say anything to him, I can let him swim in my Pisces Ocean and see ALL of me, the good and the bad and the beautiful and the ugly.

Let her be.

Nevermind if you seem cold.