how not to love too much. ..

I love this bull n he loves me. But I know that us Pisces can smother and I don't want to do that. How do I keep from doing that in a l.d.r.? Thanks.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
It's because he's so far away. Once you get settled in and use to seeing each other it will slack off. Plus, if he isn't complaining he may not feel smothered at all.

nope. He's not complaining at all. He reflects me as I say it and vice versa.

Posted by shortii
I love this bull n he loves me. But I know that us Pisces can smother and I don't want to do that. How do I keep from doing that in a l.d.r.? Thanks.

lol... it's a mostly woman thing, not a pisces thing.

I know a female bull/male pisces relationship... and she's totally the somtherer

Posted by deezie

Posted by shortii
I love this bull n he loves me. But I know that us Pisces can smother and I don't want to do that. How do I keep from doing that in a l.d.r.? Thanks.

lol... it's a mostly woman thing, not a pisces thing.

I know a female bull/male pisces relationship... and she's totally the somtherer

click to expand

But does he complain? Or seem to tire of it?

diplomatically.

He encourages her to branch outside of him. Gives her a joking hard time about it...

he loves her to bits too... but everyone needs their space.
one thing I learned very young, is that people don't like to feel like you can't live without them.
it's a very suffocating affect on the relationship - male/female, female/female, male/male, doesn't matter.

too much of a good thing, decreases its value.


How do you keep from smothering? Make sure you have a life outside of him. This is why it's tough in long distance right? Because you don't get to see them, you start to wait around on them so that you are always available to talk etc. Some of it is necessary I guess, otherwise it isn't a relationship at all, but it has to be balanced. I'm not a huge advocate for the long distance thing, but I wish you luck!

I do have a life outside. Work , kids full time schedule right there.

I wasn't implying you didn't.

but to further clarify... ensure you have a life outside of him that aren't obligations.

work, kids = responsibilities

friends, hobbies, interests, relationships = choice involvements.

I think when a significant other feels that they are your one and only choice involvement... that is when they start to feel pressure... like if they let your expectations down... your world will crash. that is one heck of a burden to shoulder.

this is more of "thought vomit", not a judgement on you (who I do not know enough)

actually that all applies in general (not long distance)... distance just makes it tougher mentally because there is minimal physical presence.

Posted by deezie
I wasn't implying you didn't.

but to further clarify... ensure you have a life outside of him that aren't obligations.

work, kids = responsibilities

friends, hobbies, interests, relationships = choice involvements.

I think when a significant other feels that they are your one and only choice involvement... that is when they start to feel pressure... like if they let your expectations down... your world will crash. that is one heck of a burden to shoulder.

this is more of "thought vomit", not a judgement on you (who I do not know enough)

That's a very good point. And I need to get back into that.
I left some of that behind bc of my previous relationship.

I thunk you hit the nail on the head with the letter down of expectations bc we are usually in constant contact. I've gotta get the mindset that it's okay to not be in touch daily. .yes...mostly due to distance.

So I will get more I into things that aren't obligations so that my time is occupied outside of him and he comes around when he wants to I guess. I kinda looked at it as a substitute physical presence but that's very hard to do some 7 states away. Lol
Thank you for your perspective. It helped a lot.