I am SO proud of myself...

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cancerlady
@cancerlady
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2804 · Topics: 142
For those following my pathetic Pisces man saga...there has been a light at the end of the tunnel.

Last night he text messaged me saying "what cha doin". Bear in mind I haven't heard from this guy in a whole week and the last time we talked he made me feel bad about the babies AGAIN but later called with the "I'm confused" crap to which my response was basically "Stop playing with my head, if you want me good if not, leave me to move on with my life"

OK, so he left a series of messages before I answered...first one above then:
2. OK
3. I guess that is a hint, ha ha ha
4. No reply
Then he called, and I didn't answer (first milestone as I have only twice deliberately not answered his call, especially after not hearing from him)

So THEN and hour and a half later, I texted him with one word...Eating

Long story short (all of this in text messages) he asked could he come over, I said "I don't think you want to see me right now, It might ruin your fantasy"
Him: Y
Me: Because
Me: I had a really long weekend and a horrible last couple of days & am not in the mood for company. Sorry maybe some other time.
Him: Hardy Har Har Har

The point of this story is that I REFUSED HIM...and I felt a bit lonely afterwards, but I think all of this has worn on me so much that I am NOT going to deal with it anymore. I am tired of never having a rock, always going out of my way for him & he blows me off, and ALL OF IT! I could be dead & he never bothered to call to see if I was okay or anything. That's not love and I am not settling anymore.

I am of the belief that no matter how much you have on your mind or whatever drama you are going through, if you truly love a person, you can at least call them and say "Baby I am busy but I was thinking about you...I have to go but I wanted you to know I care." That's what, two seconds of airtime?

So I am praying for the strength to keep my resolve to NOT have everything center around him and if he is unwilling to compromise...I think I am finally strong enough to say goodbye for good. It's like that group O-Town said...I want it all or nothing at all. I still love him but I know my worth now and I won't settle for less.

Thanks for all the support to all those who helped me.

Cancerlady/CancerMamaDeuce
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Freebird
@Freebird
20 Years1,000+ Posts

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Yeah for YOU 🙂 🙂 🙂 CancerLady! It takes courage to do what you are doing and it sure says a LOT about how much you love yourself! You deserve better and the only way you will ever get it is to make room for it. You will close this door, you have the strength, you have your power - YOU CAN DO IT. Your new life is just beginning and what an incredible life it will be 🙂

Keep honouring the wonderful Lady that you are~

Freebird
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savagetai
@savagetai
20 Years

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I am so happy for you cancerlady and if you read my thread.. I was in somewhat the same position as you. I finally stopped his manipulative mind games and wrote him the goodbye note.

I know how hard it is though.. I still tremble when I see him but I hold my head up high and just walk on. Unfortunately, i have to learn the hard way by working in the same company... but what doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger. 🙂
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cancerlady
@cancerlady
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2804 · Topics: 142
Hey CancerKitten! Good to hear from you...How's things with your Pisces?
Britney had her baby? I didn't know that! Gotta go catch up with my celebrity gossip

savagetai...I did read about your situation and you are right, it is hard but well worth it!

Thanks Freebird & Daemon! This is me now...
HA HA HA HA


BTW it is unlimited text messages for me...only $ 4 per month!
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cancerlady
@cancerlady
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2804 · Topics: 142
Haffo...That would be selfish of me to try to prevent him from being with his children if he doesn't want to be with me. As a matter of fact, I WANT him to have a great relationship with his children...as a single parent, you are only able to give them one side off the spectrum that is man & woman. There were things my father taught me that would not have been the same coming from my mother. I actually despise women like that. And truthfully,if he ever decided to give me the time & need & deserve I would want to be with him.

LOL Mr. Crabby, but that was the best example! Point well taken though...

THAT'S SO GREAT CancerKitten, I hope things continue to work out for you!

Thanks Melusine...I love the word astute...thank you for thinking so highly of me. Babies sure will make you grow up quick! 🙂

CL/CM2