I think I love you

So I got a curveball from my pisces just then. Haven't really kept in contact for about 3 weeks given the circumstances. Me starting up with the new job and she's currently in another state (background: met at our old work before I left, she's a traveller). I've thrown a few texts out to see how she's been doing all I got was a "I don't like the feeling of needing someone".

Today I get another text saying "I think I love you".

I get the feeling she's conflicted I really do. Doing my best to reassure her things will be okay, she'll work things out and I'll be here if she needs help etc but I am really curious as to what would drive her to say something about it now given the circumstances.

Aww, that's cute. She must really mean it to say it. Perhaps her emotions were getting overwhelming? What makes sense is like what Poisson said, sort of, perhaps she felt unsure about saying it, because she doesn't know where this could go. Perhaps she doesn't want to put any of that burden on you and then end up moving on to follow her desire to travel. I also have thought or said what she did, about not liking the feeling of needing someone. I like to be independent. I'm sure after doing things on her own for a while, she probably would not like the idea of her feelings ruining her streak for her. She could do all these other things like travel, etc, on her own, yet this one this is bringing her down. Having said that, she could deny her feelings and force herself to move on, maybe out of being stubborn or necessity. But, she could also give in. She's on the fence right now, which is why she said 'i think i love you', but sounded unsure about it. It could still go either way for her, it seems. In the end, it will probably be her decision, solely, so reassuring her may help a little, but don't expect it to be super effective.

Anyway, good luck to ya!

@Poisson:
I feel great that she finally came out and said that! And trust me when I say I know given the situation it is a bad idea to get involved in any way but my promise to her is to be there for her in any way that I can. She said that she didn't want to 'lose' me and that is exactly how I feel about this. It's so sad and beautiful at the same time *sigh*.

@Scenic:
I love what you say! Like poisson I think both of you are on the same wavelength as to how I feel about it.


My understanding is neither of us wants this in fear of tying down each other for whatever the reason. It's getting to the point now where I honestly think I need to stop contact for now because in me wanting to stay friends and stay in touch is a selfish gesture that is making her think too much. I said as much yesterday which just made her a bit more irritated which in turn is irritating me as well.

The funny thing is the ONLY sound solution IS to stop contact. Poisson what I really want to do is show her I can be there for her, I do love her but in doing so I need to respect her enough for her to work things out, to have that time she needs to travel and have fun. I won't deny that it makes me sad, she's the only girl who seemingly understands me without fully knowing me if that makes sense. I'm just hoping I'm doing the right thing.

I have this scenario in my head. If what I want is what she wants, and if what she wants is what I want then it's a stalemate and logic states there's no moving forward. Luckily for me my heart tells me I want her so I'll just have to stay being me: a conflicted bastard.

As sappy as this is going to sound I've already accepted she'll be in my heart! It's rare to find someone so special! She doesn't know that I'm relocating to Europe next year and that I'll be spending some time in Munich due to some family business! Didn't want to tell her to make her think even more on it!

She said she didn't want to lose me after all that and bah it's painful but I really think it's for the best for now. Really nothing can be done about the distance and rather she has fun up in Brisbane.

And I like Koi too! She gave me some useful information before! And right oooon ninjafish you have a good memory! 😄

much love to you all

oops by next year I mean later this year! Still thinking it's 2012... so backwards!

Posted by Poisson
It can work... 🙂



God, Paul Newman was so sex-oh...

it gives one an "awww" feeling 🙂