Incredible Pisces, please advise!

Allright, time to spill my guts!
I'm in love, helplessly in love, with a Pisces woman. I'm a Aries Sun, Venus AND Mars AND Mercury in Aries, Moon in Leo. She's a Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon, Mercury in Pisces, Venus in Aqua and Mars in Gemini. Help me here please!?
We used to have the most amazing conversations, you folks sure love a debate! I realized immediately we were fundamentally different in a number of ways, but the connection we had (mental, sexual, emotional and i believe spiritual as well), was incredible. Oh and its a long distance relationship, I have gone to see her twice over 3months. During the second visit, she did things that i just couldn't understand and that hurt me terribly. I dont think she did them intentionally, though the Aries in me cant understand how she could not know that i would be hurt as a result of her actions. Things like flirting with her friends right in front of me, while i'm sitting here feeling like a fool...telling me she would call and hours later, no call, and she shows up later at night like nothing happened... and a few other things that are a bit more complicated, suffice it to say i was very hurt. So the trip, was dicey, at best. Still, the emotions were very much there...else it wouldn't have hurt so much. About a month after that, maybe even two weeks after that, we just...stop talking. Rather, she stopped calling, and pretty soon after that wouldn't answer my calls. At all. Nada. I stopped calling after 1-2 weeks of incessant calls. Its been this way for 3months now, and we've spoken perhaps 2-3 times in that period. When we talk, she's perfectly affectionate, though i can sense a litte restraint. She acts like nothing is wrong...and i'm thinking, whats wrong? where did you go? have i done something? whats going on? This woman has explicitely told me that she will always hold on to me, yet everything that is happening contradicts that. Or does it? I want to nothing more than to understand her, or at least have a sense of whats happening.
Please help, I need help.

Hey coming strictly from a pisces male, LET HER GO. She said she was going to hold on to you but she didn't say HOW. As a lover? A friend? A telephone conversation? Maybe you should look outside the picture. Stopped calling, stopped answering your calls? Did you ever think somebody's else is on her time? Sorry to be so negative but thats how you need to look at things so you wont get hurt. Maybe you should stop calling to see how much she is thinking about you. At least thats what i do. whenever a girl is bullshittin me, like not calling or not answering my calls obviously i'm not on her mind so i pay her no attention. Sooner or later they call back and ask WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME ANYMORE? And by that time you should have your mind on someone else. Then she'll be wondering where you been at and what you have been doing. But when she calls tell her your on the phone and don't I MEAN DONT CALL HER BACK CAUSE SHE WILL CALL YOU. Then she'll start thinking you have someone. And ask why didn't you call me back and who were you talking to that got you not thinking about me either way that's what she'll really mean.

All i'm asking is for you to try then send me a message back so i can knowhow it went.

Thanks, so much, for your message.

I did actually, stop calling her back. About a month ago. When i least expected it, about 2-3 weeks later, I get a message from her. Now realise, i am in love with this woman (yes, i wont even try to hide that!). So we exchange messages over the next 1-2 days and she ends up calling me. We speak, she tells me she misses me, thats that. That was about 2 weeks ago. Since then, no call, i called her once and got her voice mail, and i expected that.
So now its back to no contact, i just dont get it, WHAT is going through her mind? I cant stand these mind games? If there's soemone else, thats FINE, just tell me! My heart feels like a YO-YO here! At this point, I dont feel like hearing from her, but...y'know...who knows what'll happen. I'm so tired of fighting it, its terribly draining. I'm just going to step back and see what happens.
What say you?

Ember

Hold it right there...

You love this woman? you tell her one more time and ask her to be fair with you and tell her about your needs "what ever they are"?.. Women are not stupid you know! And let her know that you mean exactly what you've said?. If she follow; then lucky you, if not waste your time on something else.

You will forget her as fast as you got in love with her anyway, millions of people experiencing this crap every day in this planet, so you are not alone man?.. get a hold on yourself? world has not ended yet..!

and welcome to this board

Hi Ember and welcome.

Q and yungbrutha are right. If you ever really read some of the other postings on this website, you'll see that when women who are ALSO in love- are just as anxious to talk to you, as you are to talk to them. Not a whole lot of pussy-footing around-- be it Pisces or Aries- us ladies can only keep you guessing for so long before we eventually want to return the attention.

With that being said, if your gut is telling you that you're being "lead on", then you probably ARE.

At best, ask yourself... is this how you want someone to relate to you in a relationship? All this guesswork? All this mystery-- lots of words, but no real action behind it?

Perhaps the chase is fun, but in the end, what have you won?

In my opinion, never mind holding off.. just move on...

I am a "get to the point" kind of woman also believing that less is more so here is my simple bird's eye view on what I see...

"She just is not into you."

Let that one go so that the one who is "into you" can enter....

I hope that I am not sounding too brashy here but, so many times we all (men and women) want to try to change someone or try to justify the other person's actions rather than seeing it for what it really is.

If someone enjoys someone else and is looking to become "serious" with that person, there are NO games. We don't "mess" around because we know deep inside we may lose that person. Again, just my take on things...

Wishing you the best Ember

Thanks, all of you, for your advice. I thought about what each of you said, and I have a few more questions.

Yungburtha, I did think about the possibility that ?someone else is on her time?, completely possible and entirely probable. If that?s the case, why not just tell me? We?re all adults here right? Somehow I sense that that?s not it though. Don?t ask me how, but I just sense that her interest in another person is not what is going on. Of course, that could just be my subjectivity.
Qbone, I loved your post. No my world aint end yet. 😉 Quite the contrary in fact, this experience (or my perception of it) has pushed me to explore parts of myself, understand things in a whole new light, so all in all, it?s been a growing period.
"you tell her one more time and ask her to be fair with you and tell her about your needs "what ever they are"?..
Regarding asking her straight up to be upfront with me, I wish that it could be that cut and dry (and for the Arian in me, it should be) but I don?t think that would make much of a difference. It?s sort of like ??when I?m ready to tell you what the problem is, I will. Till then, no amount of probing will make much of a difference.? I can be that way sometimes as well, so while I might not agree with that reaction, I do understand it. My Piscean brother can be that way as well, drives me crazy, but I love him. So I will wait till he?s ready.

With that being said, if your gut is telling you that you're being "lead on", then you probably ARE.

At best, ask yourself... is this how you want someone to relate to you in a relationship? All this guesswork? All this mystery-- lots of words, but no real action behind it?
STD, yes I?ve asked myself those same questions and I don?t mind the mystery, but no, I wont stand for the ?lots of words, but no real action behind it?. Know something funny, I WISH my gut told me I was being led on?because that would be so much easier to handle. I am a very intuitive person, and whenever I?ve stuck to what my gut, my senses, despite the fact that all logic disputes it, when I?ve stuck with the gut feeling?I?ve always manages to be on the right track. My gut, in this case, doesn?t tell me I?m being led on?.trust me, I wish it did. What my gut does tell me is that there?s something about this situation that I just am not understanding, whether that?s because I?m not considering it or it?s being kept from me.

Freebird, thanks for the honesty. I love it, more importantly, I respect it. She?s not into me, again, completely possible. And really, completely understandable?happens to people everyday, no reason why it wouldn?t have happened to me. But again, why not just tell me? Why initiate contact after weeks of no contact whatsoever to say she misses me, asking me to come visit? Why? Again, I?ll probably never know for sure. Maybe she was bored. Maybe she wants sex. Maybe she wanted to see just how much of a fool I could be. 😉 Hey, anything?s possible.

In my initial post, I had said that I am only trying to understand what happened here. I?m trying to get a better sense of the why? Why stop all contact when all seemed to be fine? Why spew out words of love and affection if this is something casual? Why initiate contact after contact has been stopped? These are the things I don?t understand and for which I was asking for insight into. Pisceans especially, I?ve read all your postings and I find them fascinating. Your insight is what I?m looking for. I?m not looking to salvage this situation particularly. I do love her yes, that?s not something I can switch on and off. Time will take care of that. Are there things I wont accept even from those I love? Of course. Disrespect is one of them, so no i wont and dont accept a lot of this. Not to say that I don?t think of her constantly, I do. Not to say that I still check my phone more than I should, because y?know, that hope thing gets me every time??mayb

hmmm...or as Freebird said...am i "justify the other person's actions rather than seeing it for what it really is."
Keep the honesty coming, i can take it! I'd rather suffer criticism and understand than remain delusional.

Hi Arian Ember 🙂

I KNOW how you are feeling my friend - I too am an Aries and have wondered much in the past regarding situations in relationships... what I have learned is that the "wondering" takes up too much of my important personal energy for life - also learned that there is NO way to figure out someone else. This situation gives us the opportunity to learn how to "accept" things for the way they are and let them be as they are. "what we resist, will persist" Yeah...you are right for now to let it go and to live as only the Aries knows how...you recover quickly and there is always a new adventure just around the corner waiting for you to play. 😉

Ember, I have a female pisces friend (I too am female btw) and it took me awhile to understand her. After we both opened up she began to share many of her thoughts and feelings with me about herself and life. She had a hard time when growing up (many of us do) so she had learned not to trust people - she kept her distance to feel safe. She wasn't ready for a truthful relationship so she was going from one man to the other looking for "something". I'm not sure of your friends actions...could be fear, could be anything but for you, what is important is YOU and the moments you have in life and how YOU choose to live and experience them. Yeah, me thinks she may be missing out on a wonderful chance to be with an incredible man but again, she may not be ready for you or you for her...who really knows? The truth? it is what it is.

And yes, you are "justifying"....we all do it, we are all humans in the school of life learning...we eventually get to the place where we do accept things for the way they are knowing that we cannot change them so then we change, we move ahead, we take care of ourselves by our choices.

It's all good my friend, it really is and in time, you too will see that 😉

Rally on!

Hi Ember.

I agree with Freebird, "wondering" why someone is the way they are is a waste of energy unless you plan to have a frank and direct conversation with this person. Instead of asking strangers who know very little about you- and even less about this woman- your questions should be directed at her.... if it's understanding you seek.

The best anyone here can do is give you an empty shell,a good guess or an assumption about someone else's motives-- and there's no saying that any of what you'd learn here would be accurate. I guess as I read your post, seems more like you just really need someone to talk to you. You want to air out your emotional angst over the confusing behavior of someone you deeply care for.

Anywho-- I hope you find what you are looking for.

Sigh...yes, life will more on huh. C'est la vie.
Thanks for your input guys,
Ember

Aw. Don't sound so defeated! Come here you! *HUGS*

feel better?

aww..STD, thank you! All of you actually, your advice puts a lot of things in perspective.
Likin' this board!