Need Advice From the Wise Fish

Ok, First of all, I'm trying to shake this guy who I think has a thing for me. He's not a Pisces! he's actually a Sagittarius (Nov 26). His cube is directly behind mine and he has mirrors on it which is directly aimed at my cube. The purpose of the mirrors is see who is coming up from behind him. Unfortunately, this causes him to continue an interest because I'm always in his line of vision.

We were friends at first, at work. He seemed nice enough and I would have taken it a step further and become friends and do some things out of work but some things about his personality came to light which caused me to back the hell up. He's divorced 2 or 3 times. He lives with one of his ex's parents along with one of his kids (teen). Honestly, he reminds me of on Chris Kattan in his role as one of the Night at the Roxbury boys. HE LOOKS LIKE HIM TOO.

The problem is, this guy does things - sublte - things to get my attention now that I don't talk to him. He gives me the creeps and I have told him that. Today we were walking past each other in the hall and he walked by so close to me that he almost bumped me! I shoulda clocked him but I don't want to get fired. He is known to press people's buttons. He leaves me alone but on certain days, he'll do stuff likes this to get my attention. And yet he says he's not interested in me. Help, how do I get this guy to leave me alone!!!!

It is harrassment on the subtle side. This way, there is never any proof.

awwwww, look at little ian!

Ian i'm not a criminal!!!! How do you get someone to respect personal space when they refuse to. If I have an issue please explain - if he has an issue tell me how I can get rid of him.

Seriously. PLEASE!!

Thanks guys. I thought about switching cubes but I really wanted to keep it low on the drama...

I have told him that I'm not interested. I told him he was creepy. But it doesn't work...When it comes down to it, you really can't make someone do something they don't want. Unless I report it to HR - MORE DRAMA!!

I understand what you are saying about the drama .. however, let me give you a different way to look at it, a way in which a Pisces might interpret this ... and maybe that will shed some light on what you need to do in your situation.


To say you don't like drama, and this is the reason for you not to move your cubicle, or to go HR .. is actually the total opposite of not wanting drama from a Piscean perspective.

We recognize "swimming away" from something we don't want. In this swimming away, we completely disregard whatever it is we are leaving behind .. no flapping of fins, no fuss, no dramatic displays of departure .. just quietly bounce.

However, if a person is being taunted, or irritated, or even if the feelings are good ones ... if they STAY to undure it, tolerate it, embrace it, or any kind of acceptance to it by means of continueing presence ... then we will see this as they like it.

If they didn't like it .... they would swim.

That's ^^^ how we process.

So, here he is likely thinking .... she's still here .. hahahahahahaha .. she loves it. She may get annoyed looks on her face, she may pretend to avoid me, she may try to ignore me ...

.. but, she's still here .... hahahahahahahahahahaha .. she loves it because if she didn't, she'd leave.

So, you see ... you are looking at if you go to HR to have your cube moved (or his), then you are processing your action of protecting yourself from having to deal with his ass as drama, when in reality it's not drama at all ... it's making a rational decision to remove yourself from a situation in which you don't wish to be.

To him, he sees it as you do want to be there, enduring his dramatic antics he is doing to you = you enjoying the drama because you are still there with it, eventhough you have the option to leave.



From my perspective, as I read your testimony above, I gleened that you do want to be there across from him your cube, eventhough you say you don't want to be there .. you really do.

because if you really didn't want to ... then you do whatever it takes to remove yourself.



So, instead of looking at preserving your peace and protecting yourself from him as drama ... maybe it would help you if you looked at it from the other side of this coin = he is causing drama already, and you "choose" to stay with it.

Thanks, P. I will have to ponder those words.

Ok, P. In a way, I do want to stay there because it's away from my team and I'm kind of "hidden." The only problem is, this guy has access to me. Also, don't you think he "won" because he got me to move?

Ugggggghhh.......did you just say he looks like Chris Kattan— ......and that you were going to take things further with him?

further as in friends - as in take it outside of the work environment...I was never interested in him on a romantic level. I didn't know that he was interested in me on a romantice level until I backed up meaning I stopped talking to him. That's when he started to act stalkerish. I told him that I was not interested in him on any romantic level, platonic or friendship level and that frankly, he creeped me out.

But don't knock Chris Kattan. He's married to a model at the moment.

where's my advice? or did you just stop by to criticize to make yourself feel better?

You can at least be original, someone has already done that to me today.
just remember.

"karma"

I give you points Ian, but I can't kill the guy. I mean, I've never not liked anyone enough to wish them dead..

How do you keep your aura golden? Mine feels a little muddy today. 😢

I'm surrounded by nutjobs at work. they're coming out of the wood work!

Thank you Ian, I appreciate it 🙂. I guess I don't have any fight in me at the moment. I'm just waiting to shake it off...

I just don't understand how people can be mean to each other. I mean, in this economy so many people are suffering and instead and of being kind and sensitive around each other - some people I ran into today decided it would be feel alot better if they dumped on someone.

Sorry, just having a bad day. And that guy actually backed off today. I give him a few weeks. After the holidays I'm sure he'll be up to his old tricks again..

Actually when the economy gets worse, there is no reason to be nicer. If necessities arent met, people are more cynical and ass like because they are hurting more. Doesnt make it an excuse, but those that are more comfortable in their finances can afford to be more sensitive and kind. The mentality between rich and poor is very different. When you are rich, you can afford to be humane, kind, and considerate of those around you. When you are poor or struggling, its a you vs the world mentality. So people are worse if they are doing bad then if they are doing well.

I think you do need to discuss this with HR if he starts again. He does need to be taught a lesson for being rude and harrassing you. Maybe hes just like that because he was hurt by your comment, maybe hes teasing/messing with you Or maybe hes just too stupid and inconsiderate to realize hes bumping into you.

"Also, don't you think he "won" because he got me to move?"


I doubt he would think that, Virgo_Libra, because he's probably doing it because he likes you. You know, the old .... tease and pick on girl because she's liked thing.

I didn't know it was you until you showed your picture. How have you been? Just look at you, Virgo_Libra, what guy could resist having his mirror pointed at you? On top of which you're the sweetest Virgo woman ... so, he's probably smitten and doesnt' know what to do with himself .. so he makes himself a fool over you.


If you moved, he would probably be devastated. 😢

HI P, Hi Bling 🙂. Thanks for the compliment P, I'm ok...

I know but he's 44 years old, you would think he could act a little more mature. I think I was testing to see if he could keep it professional, you know, know the difference when it's time to stop playing and work. So, I backed off because I was in one of those moods - those moods where I just want to do my work, don't talk to me, leave me alone and then I'm going home. Well, he wouldn't let me have that mood and proceeded to follow me around. What I mean by that is when I passed him in the hall, he changed his direction and started walking with me (not saying a word). He did that TWICE that day and it just got on my last nerve. So, the second time he did it, I turned to him and said, ok, now you're getting annoying. And I pretty much got cold.

That's when he started to do the subtle stalking thing...walking out of his cube when I walked out of mine, timing it so that we would pass each other. When I go to the bathroom, he would position himself in the hallway so that I will pass him. Man, that's what creeped me out.

I'm pretty stubborn, so I still haven't talked to him. It's probably not mature, but he was doing this creepy thing for awhile, now, I don't know if he CAN handle it.

Bling I can't do that!!!!!

How have you both been?

Hi lovable pisces...

Actally, I see where you are coming from. But, I try to give in some way - even if it's not material. There are lots of things we can do for each other and it wouldn't cost a thing.

I also have heard about the theory that this is the holiday season and people tend to get more depressed during this time. I think that's probably what I ran into yesterday.

Where is DepthCharge when you need him 🙂

We need some of his crazy faerie dust... although the pisces currently in here always make me feel comforted.

Cuz you guys are the BEST!!!

Of course, we should all help each other whenever possible. Its just never that way when you feel oppressed and are suffering financially. You still got a few good angels out there though that care.

As for your stalker, he needs to be taught a lesson, if you can get witnesses to prove he is harrassing you might have a case with HR. Even if its subtle, its distracting you from doing your job and making you feel uncomfortable in the work place. Thats not right.