pisces men and virgo women misunderstandings

I was in a relationship with this pisces man. They are great lovers, protecters and givers. But, when in a disagreement or in misunderstanding arguments, we both curl into our defensive modes and he goes quiet.

I give him time, and give myself time, but eventually I would like to clear things up. What ends up as wanting to clear things up, however, turns emotionally messy. I try to be calm and rationalized, but he demands unsaid answers that I don't understand or how to give.

It leads to more misunderstanding between us.Pisces are really sensitive, but according to him, I am (virgo) just insensitive and uncaring about my words. Its really frustrating. It demands personality fixes in both of our parts. but for future references, is there a way to go about this that would soften the hurt we feel when we are in an argument?

I

It's a case of two people not understanding each other enough to make concessions for each other's quirks.

As a Pisces, I've never had good chemistry with a Virgo.. totally different wavelengths. No offence to any virgo's... Maybe it's just the ones I've met! 🙂

Opposites, period... The most opposite signs must be Pisces and Virgo, like father/mother and son/daughter conflict.

Posted by jasmines

when in a disagreement or in misunderstanding arguments, we both curl into our defensive modes and he goes quiet.

I give him time, and give myself time, but eventually I would like to clear things up.

I translate this as: after the fight, and once it's over ... you bring it back up.



I don't see how this is him being overly sensitive. People fight, especially couples .... but, once the incident is over, let the water run under the bridge.

But, you're not doing that .. you're damning up the water, expecting to have answers in which no partner can ever answer ... because there is no explaining why people disagree to any satisfaction other than having to agree to disagree.

But, that's not good enough for you ... and the evidence is in where you stated that you bring it back up to him and expect him to not get upset.

Posted by jasmines

It demands personality fixes in both of our parts

click to expand

Correction: YOU demand it. It sounds like he would rather an argument pass.



there is no fixing it because it's being a human ... maybe you'll get lucky and find a robot to partner with

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by jasmines

when in a disagreement or in misunderstanding arguments, we both curl into our defensive modes and he goes quiet.

I give him time, and give myself time, but eventually I would like to clear things up.

I translate this as: after the fight, and once it's over ... you bring it back up.



I don't see how this is him being overly sensitive. People fight, especially couples .... but, once the incident is over, let the water run under the bridge.

But, you're not doing that .. you're damning up the water, expecting to have answers in which no partner can ever answer ... because there is no explaining why people disagree to any satisfaction other than having to agree to disagree.

But, that's not good enough for you ... and the evidence is in where you stated that you bring it back up to him and expect him to not get upset.

Posted by jasmines

It demands personality fixes in both of our parts

Correction: YOU demand it. It sounds like he would rather an argument pass.



there is no fixing it because it's being a human ... maybe you'll get lucky and find a robot to partner with

click to expand

That's a bit mean. I bring argument back up, because I feel we have not cleared the air. I do not bring it back up because I like drama. I feel if we have an argument, we need to confront it once the emotions are calmer so it does not happen in future again. I don't want to keep arguing about the same thing again and again.

Secondly, I would never want him to change. I truly loved the way he was. So different from me, but so alike at the same time. I just feel, sometimes we have to adjust to each others ways so we can continue our relationship.

Don't conclude that there is no feelings involved. There are lots of feelings involved.

Posted by jasmines

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by jasmines

when in a disagreement or in misunderstanding arguments, we both curl into our defensive modes and he goes quiet.

I give him time, and give myself time, but eventually I would like to clear things up.

I translate this as: after the fight, and once it's over ... you bring it back up.



I don't see how this is him being overly sensitive. People fight, especially couples .... but, once the incident is over, let the water run under the bridge.

But, you're not doing that .. you're damning up the water, expecting to have answers in which no partner can ever answer ... because there is no explaining why people disagree to any satisfaction other than having to agree to disagree.

But, that's not good enough for you ... and the evidence is in where you stated that you bring it back up to him and expect him to not get upset.

Posted by jasmines

It demands personality fixes in both of our parts

Correction: YOU demand it. It sounds like he would rather an argument pass.



there is no fixing it because it's being a human ... maybe you'll get lucky and find a robot to partner with

That's a bit mean. I bring argument back up, because I feel we have not cleared the air. I do not bring it back up because I like drama. I feel if we have an argument, we need to confront it once the emotions are calmer so it does not happen in future again. I don't want to keep arguing about the same thing again and again.

Secondly, I would never want him to change. I truly loved the way he was. So different from me, but so alike at the same time. I just feel, sometimes we have to adjust to each others ways so we can continue our relationship.

Don't conclude that there is no feelings involved. There are lots of feelings involved.

click to expand

Yes, I agree, it is a bit mean in how you refuse to let disagreements pass, and so throw it back up in his face.

Posted by jasmines

I feel if we have an argument, we need to confront it

I just feel, sometimes we have to adjust to each others ways so we can continue our relationship.

That translates to: you want to control him in how he thinks, how he processes, you want to control his ways and adjust them to suit you.

For being a mutable ... they are extremely inflexible

Posted by jasmines
Pisces are really sensitive, but according to him, I am (virgo) just insensitive and uncaring about my words. Its really frustrating.

Virgo female here too. I've heard this from Pisces too. I get accused of having words that cut like knives. Meanwhile, I'm just explaining, in detail, what they've done to me. I don't mean to hurt them. Often, as opposites, we don't make sense to each other. 😢

Posted by jasmines

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by jasmines

when in a disagreement or in misunderstanding arguments, we both curl into our defensive modes and he goes quiet.

I give him time, and give myself time, but eventually I would like to clear things up.

I translate this as: after the fight, and once it's over ... you bring it back up.



I don't see how this is him being overly sensitive. People fight, especially couples .... but, once the incident is over, let the water run under the bridge.

But, you're not doing that .. you're damning up the water, expecting to have answers in which no partner can ever answer ... because there is no explaining why people disagree to any satisfaction other than having to agree to disagree.

But, that's not good enough for you ... and the evidence is in where you stated that you bring it back up to him and expect him to not get upset.

Posted by jasmines

It demands personality fixes in both of our parts

Correction: YOU demand it. It sounds like he would rather an argument pass.



there is no fixing it because it's being a human ... maybe you'll get lucky and find a robot to partner with

That's a bit mean. I bring argument back up, because I feel we have not cleared the air. I do not bring it back up because I like drama. I feel if we have an argument, we need to confront it once the emotions are calmer so it does not happen in future again. I don't want to keep arguing about the same thing again and again.

Secondly, I would never want him to change. I truly loved the way he was. So different from me, but so alike at the same time. I just feel, sometimes we have to adjust to each others ways so we can continue our relationship.

Don't conclude that there is no feelings involved. There are lots of feelings involved.

click to expand

OP, this fellow doesn't like discussing an argument once it seems to be over. I don't see a point in it, either. Talking about it, even to try to clarify something about it, is not a guarantee that you won't have the same argument with your partner again and again or even in perpetuity.

No matter how delicately you approach him, if he thinks you're still trying to prove you were right and he was wrong, he'll probably get mad or upset or whatever.

It doesn't safeguard against future arguments and it really seems to bother him. Try letting things go after the fight is over. Only huge problems really need to be revisited. Your average every day argument is not a big deal.