pisces told me he loved me, then swam away :( help

i'm a pisces, and he's a pisces.

My friend i'm dating called me, tipsy, and told me loved me even though we had agreed to not fall in love, always loved me, etc...very detailed. I confronted him, sober. I asked him if he really loved me, and he said 'i know what i said, and i care about you more than anything, but i don't want a relationship right now. Still hurt from my ex.' I said, 'Okay, i'm not asking to pressure you. i was just questioning the things YOU said.' He said, 'Well why do you want to know? Were you going to tell me you love me or something?' I said, 'No, just seeing where you're at.' He said, 'Are you sure?' I said, 'Yes.' We ended at that.

It's been a few weeks since the convo, and at first everything was still normal between us, but now he has become distant. We used to spend everyday together, but now anytime I ask him to, i get a "can't today." He's not avoiding me completely, because he still calls me daily and we talk like normal...it's just impossible to get him to hang out with me in person. I seriously started thinking we were over forever, until out of nowhere, he invited me to his family Christmas party. (—) I went, he kissed me like normal, but now things are back to bad. He always "can't see me today," when he is really just at his house doing nothing.

Should I just stop accepting his calls, and disappear completely for awhile? Should I confront the avoidance problem? He is clearly confused about his feelings towards me, and I feel really rejected and sad being ignored. I truly think he meant the drunk love call, so maybe I hurt him, and he is disappointed that I didn't say I loved him? I had planned on saying it, but when he told me that he didn't want a relationship I felt rejected and awkward, and I chose to hide my feelings...😢

Posted by piranhaparadise
By the way we know what we are saying when we are drunk !!!

i feel like he pretty much made it impossible for me to even admit to it, though. who wants to say "i love you" to someone who just said, "i don't want a relationship right now, sorry." what do i do? 😢

Posted by x1234
i'm a pisces, and he's a pisces.

My friend i'm dating called me, tipsy, and told me loved me even though we had agreed to not fall in love, always loved me, etc...very detailed. I confronted him, sober. I asked him if he really loved me, and he said 'i know what i said, and i care about you more than anything, but i don't want a relationship right now. Still hurt from my ex.' I said, 'Okay, i'm not asking to pressure you. i was just questioning the things YOU said.' He said, 'Well why do you want to know? Were you going to tell me you love me or something?' I said, 'No, just seeing where you're at.' He said, 'Are you sure?' I said, 'Yes.' We ended at that.

It's been a few weeks since the convo, and at first everything was still normal between us, but now he has become distant. We used to spend everyday together, but now anytime I ask him to, i get a "can't today." He's not avoiding me completely, because he still calls me daily and we talk like normal...it's just impossible to get him to hang out with me in person. I seriously started thinking we were over forever, until out of nowhere, he invited me to his family Christmas party. (—) I went, he kissed me like normal, but now things are back to bad. He always "can't see me today," when he is really just at his house doing nothing.

Should I just stop accepting his calls, and disappear completely for awhile? Should I confront the avoidance problem? He is clearly confused about his feelings towards me, and I feel really rejected and sad being ignored. I truly think he meant the drunk love call, so maybe I hurt him, and he is disappointed that I didn't say I loved him? I had planned on saying it, but when he told me that he didn't want a relationship I felt rejected and awkward, and I chose to hide my feelings...😢

My Dear, you will unfortunately learn that a Pisces-Pisces relationship is among the most difficult in the Zodiac.

Having been there myself, I can assure you that the bond is very strong and is equally painful when it breaks apart.

The Pisces-Cancer bond is also a strong one, and is also extremely difficult to break.

All that I am saying is that it will be extraordinarily difficult for you to make a decision on this matter because he may be a very kind and generous human being, and it is difficult to be harsh with such people.

However, it also seems that he suffers from a ment

My Dear, you will unfortunately learn that a Pisces-Pisces relationship is among the most difficult in the Zodiac.

Having been there myself, I can assure you that the bond is very strong and is equally painful when it breaks apart.

The Pisces-Cancer bond is also a strong one, and is also extremely difficult to break.

All that I am saying is that it will be extraordinarily difficult for you to make a decision on this matter because he may be a very kind and generous human being, and it is difficult to be harsh with such people.

However, it also seems that he suffers from a mental-spiritual hangover from his previous relationship.

A few questions that you must ask yourself, and may have to ask him directly:

1.) How long was he with his ex gf, and how long have they been separated?

2.) Does he avoid the telephone because he wants some time alone at home, or does he avoid using the telephone with you for other reasons?

3.) How old is he, and how many long term relationships has he had in the past?

Human beings tend to mature as they age, and they mature even more powerfully when they experience the loss of a powerful relationship.

Think of how plants grow back even more thick and powerful after a forest fire tears up a wooded area.

Anyway, let me know via PM if you want to discuss Pisces-Pisces in more detail.

I had a horrific break-up with mine several years ago, but things worked out for me in the end.

Posted by piranhaparadise
well you tell him what your fears are...what you are feeling...you have a heart to heart talk...and let it go slow if that's what he needs right now...

I know from experience as my ex Pisces was also still hung up with his ex...however we stayed together for over a decade...

i really want him to know that i love him, BUT i don't want him to think that i expect a relationship out of it. i'm really afraid that if i bring up this convo AGAIN, he will feel really pressured. i just feel like i came across as very uncaring the first time :\ i didn't mean to, i was just trying to shield myself from harm.

he does need to know though, right? if he keeps avoiding me, what do i have to lose...

Oh x, what a predicament you are in and I am sorry for that. You should share with him what you were scared to say the first time b/c you felt rejected. He may have even been testing to see where you were at with the comment about the relationship. On the other hand, he could have meant that b/c he doesn't want to hurt you in that he does know he's not ready for one yet. Let him know that you aren't 'expecting' a relationship our of it but you felt you needed to come clean with him as well and tell him you love him too. You know Pisces can be confusing as you are one too...lol. It sounds like you both are close enough friends that you can be honest with each other especially since he already disclosed his feelings for you. The reason he may not be hanging out with you in person might be b/c it is harder for him seeing you b/c he doesn't think his feelings were reciprocated and may be a bit painful or hard.
I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do and hope that your fantastic friendship will endure this trial and actually become stronger from it! Who knows what the future may hold for the two of you!
🙂

Posted by Pesca2
"even though we had agreed to not fall in love"

^^ that i just do not comprehend...

we were just taking it slow. we've known each other for many years, and we've always had this crazy chemistry since day 1. i've really never felt this connection with anyone else. unfortunately, we both had to deal with breakups in the past year, and we didn't want to jump back into something serious so quick.

with that in mind, i got some unexpected news. the other day he told me that he is still depressed over his ex, and feels like he will never get over her. i know breakups are hard and it takes time to heal, but i'm now very confused and hurt. he said he feels terrible everyday, and "hasn't 'felt' anything for months," emotionally numb. i know depression is it's own issue, but i can't help but think, what the hell have you felt with me? NOTHING?

keep in mind this is the same person who called me and told me he loved me, said he wanted to get a place with me, would ask to see me EVERYDAY, said he felt like we could make each other very happy once we decided to be together, and invited me to his family christmas last week.

we spent every second together, so now i've been attempting to make my own new life. i just don't know what i'm supposed to do now. let him sit alone at his house being depressed? won't that make him feel lonely and worse? still see him? i know that he has feelings for me, but he really made our past 6 months feel completely meaningless.

Posted by x1234

Posted by Pesca2
"even though we had agreed to not fall in love"

^^ that i just do not comprehend...

we were just taking it slow. we've known each other for many years, and we've always had this crazy chemistry since day 1. i've really never felt this connection with anyone else. unfortunately, we both had to deal with breakups in the past year, and we didn't want to jump back into something serious so quick.

with that in mind, i got some unexpected news. the other day he told me that he is still depressed over his ex, and feels like he will never get over her. i know breakups are hard and it takes time to heal, but i'm now very confused and hurt. he said he feels terrible everyday, and "hasn't 'felt' anything for months," emotionally numb. i know depression is it's own issue, but i can't help but think, what the hell have you felt with me? NOTHING?

keep in mind this is the same person who called me and told me he loved me, said he wanted to get a place with me, would ask to see me EVERYDAY, said he felt like we could make each other very happy once we decided to be together, and invited me to his family christmas last week.

we spent every second together, so now i've been attempting to make my own new life. i just don't know what i'm supposed to do now. let him sit alone at his house being depressed? won't that make him feel lonely and worse? still see him? i know that he has feelings for me, but he really made our past 6 months feel completely meaningless.

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I went through this with a Pisces chick I was really into, but it just fell apart.

Too many people going different directions here. Think about it.

Each of us represents two fish swimming in opposite directions. With 2 Pisces, you essentially have 4 different personas moving around in the relationship.

That's just too many complications, and add in the fact that both are hyper-sensitive to things, it makes things difficult.

With Cancers, they are sensitive too, but they are mutually responsive to our games and teasing.

If a Pisces plays games and teases another Pisces, then the teased Pisces will most likely respond with more teasing and games of another kind.

It just goes round and round, until neither of you is really doing anything other than teasing and playing games.

Pisces-Pis

I went through this with a Pisces chick I was really into, but it just fell apart.

Too many people going different directions here. Think about it.

Each of us represents two fish swimming in opposite directions. With 2 Pisces, you essentially have 4 different personas moving around in the relationship.

That's just too many complications, and add in the fact that both are hyper-sensitive to things, it makes things difficult.

With Cancers, they are sensitive too, but they are mutually responsive to our games and teasing.

If a Pisces plays games and teases another Pisces, then the teased Pisces will most likely respond with more teasing and games of another kind.

It just goes round and round, until neither of you is really doing anything other than teasing and playing games.

Pisces-Pisces can also be difficult because there tends to be a lack of grounding and leadership in there.

Cancers can motivate Pisces to take command of things, but two Pisces will just wander aimlessly on a variety of issues (to include paying bills and other critical responsibilities).

It will be alright.

Just take some chill out time, and try not to have too much anxiety over it.

Try to look at the bright side of this.

It was only 6 months, and you should be back on your feet in 6-12 months.

Imagine if you guys were together for several years, and then try to imagine how long it would take to recover from that.

Same applies to if you had gotten married. The problems would only compound themselves even worse.

Posted by Scubafish
I went through this with a Pisces chick I was really into, but it just fell apart.

Too many people going different directions here. Think about it.

Each of us represents two fish swimming in opposite directions. With 2 Pisces, you essentially have 4 different personas moving around in the relationship.

That's just too many complications, and add in the fact that both are hyper-sensitive to things, it makes things difficult.

With Cancers, they are sensitive too, but they are mutually responsive to our games and teasing.

If a Pisces plays games and teases another Pisces, then the teased Pisces will most likely respond with more teasing and games of another kind.

It just goes round and round, until neither of you is really doing anything other than teasing and playing games.

Pisces-Pisces can also be difficult because there tends to be a lack of grounding and leadership in there.

Cancers can motivate Pisces to take command of things, but two Pisces will just wander aimlessly on a variety of issues (to include paying bills and other critical responsibilities).

It will be alright.

Just take some chill out time, and try not to have too much anxiety over it.

Try to look at the bright side of this.

It was only 6 months, and you should be back on your feet in 6-12 months.

Imagine if you guys were together for several years, and then try to imagine how long it would take to recover from that.

Same applies to if you had gotten married. The problems would only compound themselves even worse.

I thought i'd give an update on this...

I assumed after he told me he can't get over his ex, we were kinda done. I assumed he'd just stop talking to me, but he is still initiating seeing me a few times a week and he calls me everyday. Everytime I see him though, everything just feels dirty to me. He kisses me and hugs me, and I just think 'why?' Why hug me after you told me you miss your ex? Why do you even call me everyday? I appreciate his honesty on how he feels, but that doesn't mean the things he said didn't change 'us.'

He's really acting like he never said anything about his ex...like we can just continue on being normal. One part of me feels like a fool for still wanting and seeing him, but the other part of me remembers what he told me just a month ago...how he loved me, and wanted to get a place together...how he ha

Listen to what the people here are fucking telling... Jesus.. Drama queen.