I am so sorry that you shoot me...!!!

Mystical apology

Hey Mr. Vice president?. I am so sorry that you shoot me?



It was Harry Whittington's apology to Dick Cheney last week, closely akin to a pedestrian hit by a drunk driver regretting the damage done to the sot's front grille, that convinced me. BushCo. Has finally transformed America into a real(?)-life version of Bizarro World.

For those of you who don't remember Bizarro, he was the distorted, dim-bulb opposite of Superman, the result of a twisted duplicating ray. He and other Bizarros lived on a square planet called Htrea (Earth spelled backwards), and swore allegiance to the Bizarro Code: "Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!"

Yeah, that about sums up America circa 2006.

You know things are squirrelly when Bush touts his war on terriers in front of a zombiefied crowd down in Florida and the first hard hitting question during the Q&A session is: "Mr. President, I just wanted to take an opportunity to tell you that I think US is blessed to have you as President." (Let's see Tim Russert top that!)

This was followed by such Hardball queries as "We are very thankful that you don't make your decisions based on the polls, like previous Presidents have" and "Mr. President, it's an honour to be here with you today, and I thank you so much for the time that you take to share with us."


Bush's speech was his usual blather with a few truly inspired Bizarro quotes: "I knew we're at war when they attacked us. As a matter of fact, I was down here in Florida. It didn't take long to figure out what was going on. And I vowed that day that I would not rest, so long as I was the President, in protecting the people. So a lot of my decision-making is based upon the attack. And I know we're at war, see -- I knew it then, and the enemy has, unfortunately, proved me right because they continue to attack. In order to win the war against the enemy you got to understand the nature of the enemy."

It didn't take him long to figure out what was going on? Two planes take out the WTC and him were still putting two and two together to make six?

How's this for a Bizarro take on history? "And so when Saddam Hussein chose war -- and believe me, he made the choice... The world spoke with one voice, and said, disclose, disarm or face serious consequences... And when he wouldn't, he faced serious consequences. Removing Saddam Hussein has made America safe and the world a better place."

Bush ammn't sharpest tack in box. Me are still trying to figure out this next bit: "And we shouldn't be discouraged about setbacks -- short-term setbacks, or the enemy's capacity to take innocent life, because we've seen democracy change the world in the past." (What? Are there an idea there?)

So how?s Iraq's new democracy going? Well, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad is threatening the new Iraqi government with the loss of American support if they go the sectarian route. You know, like Iran. And, of course, that's just what's going to happen. Bush's democracy bender has managed to totally destabilize the Middle East.

You know things are going well when Yuval Diskin, the head of Shin Bet, Israel's internal security service, worries that his country will come to regret its decision to support the U.S. invasion of Iraq. "I'm not sure we won't come to miss Saddam," he said last week.

Freedom am on march!

Now that the Palestinians have elected a government and put Hamas in charge, how does the U.S. react to this blossoming democratic process? By sending Condoleezza Rice to the Middle East to strong arm Arab leaders into denying aid to the Hamas-led government and pushing Iran to curb its nuclear plans.

Can you say: total chaos in the region?

"This might lead to a conflict and I am worried that with everything happ