claro
@clare
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 67 · Posts: 960 · Topics: 25
The disempowering effects of Stockholm Syndrome
The cycles involve bonding emotionally with the captor by identifying with them as a way of dealing with extreme emotional stress, followed by reactions that involve conscious attempts to placate, appease or make peace with their captor as a way of surviving even further extreme experiences of emotional stress.
Victims will very often show compliance, empathy, sympathy and emotional loyalty towards their captors as a way of coping with what's going on and this can then lead to negative feelings towards family and friends who are trying to help them escape or see the reality of the situation for what it is. This is because of a long-term fear of what could happen as a result of the situation and feelings of isolation due to what has been happening.
Victims will very often show compliance, empathy, sympathy and emotional loyalty towards their captors as a way of coping with what's going on and this can then lead to negative feelings towards family and friends who are trying to help them escape or see the reality of the situation for what it is. This is because of a long-term fear of what could happen as a result of the situation and feelings of isolation due to what has been happening.
Taking steps to placate and appease their captor is a way of avoiding further uncomfortable situations where the abuser/ captor usually and inevitably uses their means of manipulations and abuse to prevent them from leaving, such as making them feel guilty for trying to leave or making them feel at fault or responsible for what is happening.
Placating and appeasing the captor helps to avoid further abuse from them, violence, aggression or the uncomfortable feelings that arise from their emotional manipulations such as guilt-tripping.
Because of the emotional severity of the situation, even the smallest acts of kindness and affection from their captor can be interpreted as profound care or love leading to gratitude towards their captor and further emotional bonding and positive feelings despite the severity and difficulty of the situation that they are in.
Placating and appeasing the captor helps to avoid further abuse from them, violence, aggression or the uncomfortable feelings that arise from their emotional manipulations such as guilt-tripping.
Because of the emotional severity of the situation, even the smallest acts of kindness and affection from their captor can be interpreted as profound care or love leading to gratitude towards their captor and further emotional bonding and positive feelings despite the severity and difficulty of the situation that they are in.
The emotional impacts of the abuse-reward cycles of Stockhom Syndrome:
Positive feelings towards the captor.
Support of the captor’s behavior and the reasoning behind it.
Perceiving their captor’s humanity and believing they share the same goals and values.
They make little to no effort to escape.
A belief in the goodness of the captors.
As the victims get rewarded, perhaps with less abuse or with something else, unreasonable justifications of the rest of the captor’s behaviors are reinforced.
Feelings of pity towards the captors, even believing that the captors are the victims themselves.
They may have feelings of wanting to ‘save’ their captor.
Feeling personally guilty for actions that led to their capture or believing they deserved the treatment they received.
Persistent anxiety directly related to their captor, such as worry about the captor’s well-being or fearing harm might come to them.
Heightened irritability, sometimes manifesting as uncharacteristic anger or frustration.
Positive feelings towards the captor.
Support of the captor’s behavior and the reasoning behind it.
Perceiving their captor’s humanity and believing they share the same goals and values.
They make little to no effort to escape.
A belief in the goodness of the captors.
As the victims get rewarded, perhaps with less abuse or with something else, unreasonable justifications of the rest of the captor’s behaviors are reinforced.
Feelings of pity towards the captors, even believing that the captors are the victims themselves.
They may have feelings of wanting to ‘save’ their captor.
Feeling personally guilty for actions that led to their capture or believing they deserved the treatment they received.
Persistent anxiety directly related to their captor, such as worry about the captor’s well-being or fearing harm might come to them.
Heightened irritability, sometimes manifesting as uncharacteristic anger or frustration.
Longer-term emotional and psychological after-effects of Stockholm Syndrome include:
Difficulty concentrating on daily tasks, showing impaired memory or decision-making.
Chronic insomnia or severely disrupted sleep patterns.
Emotional dependence on others, especially in terms of personal emotional well-being and general decision-making.
Feelings of disempowerment.
Reduction of an individual's capacity to make intentional choices and take purposeful actions to exert control over their lives and circumstances.
A profound loss of personal power.
A profound loss of a sense of self.
Diminished sense of self and the loss of one's own identity, goals, and values.
Loss of a sense of general morality. This is because they develop positive feelings toward their abusers, leading to them rationalizing their abuse or thinking it's somehow 'ok' and being in denial of its harmful effects, which can feel like a shift in one's moral standing. This coping mechanism helps victims emotionally survive by focusing on "crumbs" of kindness from their abuser whilst suppressing natural feelings like fear and outrage, which can mask or temporarily override their moral center.
Difficulty concentrating on daily tasks, showing impaired memory or decision-making.
Chronic insomnia or severely disrupted sleep patterns.
Emotional dependence on others, especially in terms of personal emotional well-being and general decision-making.
Feelings of disempowerment.
Reduction of an individual's capacity to make intentional choices and take purposeful actions to exert control over their lives and circumstances.
A profound loss of personal power.
A profound loss of a sense of self.
Diminished sense of self and the loss of one's own identity, goals, and values.
Loss of a sense of general morality. This is because they develop positive feelings toward their abusers, leading to them rationalizing their abuse or thinking it's somehow 'ok' and being in denial of its harmful effects, which can feel like a shift in one's moral standing. This coping mechanism helps victims emotionally survive by focusing on "crumbs" of kindness from their abuser whilst suppressing natural feelings like fear and outrage, which can mask or temporarily override their moral center.
Have you ever experienced Stockholm Syndrome or do you know anyone who has?
How did you/ they eventually 'get out', what did that feel like and how long did you or your family member/ friend suffer from the after-effects of the syndrome?
Did you/ they suffer from loss of identity or sense of self?
How did you/ they eventually 'get out', what did that feel like and how long did you or your family member/ friend suffer from the after-effects of the syndrome?
Did you/ they suffer from loss of identity or sense of self?
Posted by ThatWomanAgain11
Yes.
But I don't know if I am the captor or the captive..
The effect that I feel is laziness, loss of interest of doing what people mostly do and find the joy in it.. like watching movies, buying clothes, traveling, saving up for future purchases.. like can't find the motivation to do all those things
Everything feels like "what for?"
I think it turns to functioning depression
I'm sorry to hear you're going through it. Usually one person wants to leave but the other is forcing, coercing or manipulating them to stay, like a hostage situation.
It sucks doesn't it. I don't profess to know everything, just wanted to explore the topic.
The psychology of relationships and friendships is so complex on top of the shadows and the subjective viewpoints we all have. But you're right @ThatWomanAgain11, we need time to assimilate and adjust after difficult exchanges and things. Sometimes to figure out what actually happened and why. Like AITA or are they?? which level of defence is enough before overkill?
Scorpios are definitely not the worst when it comes to manipulation and petty revenge/ spitefulness. Naturally understanding of the dynamics of this and karma though yes and naturally skilled and hiding and working under the radar. Unlike some.
Scorpios are definitely not the worst when it comes to manipulation and petty revenge/ spitefulness. Naturally understanding of the dynamics of this and karma though yes and naturally skilled and hiding and working under the radar. Unlike some.
Stockholm Syndrome is just maximal negging.
Posted by ThatWomanAgain11Posted by clare
The psychology of relationships and friendships is so complex on top of the shadows and the subjective viewpoints we all have. But you're right @ThatWomanAgain11, we need time to assimilate and adjust after difficult exchanges and things. Sometimes to figure out what actually happened and why. Like AITA or are they?? which level of defence is enough before overkill?
Scorpios are definitely not the worst when it comes to manipulation and petty revenge/ spitefulness. Naturally understanding of the dynamics of this and karma though yes and naturally skilled and hiding and working under the radar. Unlike some.
It was like a cummulation of hypervigilant states and it always messed up the mind of the captive.
Especially when the captors already set traps and the captive already fell into those traps, by that time the captor has already gone through excessive scanning yet remain silent the whole time. So the captor has already known the mind of the captive. The mindfuckery was blown off steam complete with enough angst placed on the captive. The captive could have put an immediate stop to it but even then the captor has already placed solid barricades for the captive to get away from.
For the captive to break free from the chains, imo, is through grounding, patience, and ability to think out of the box (the normal thoughts), and at times to let go and accept the risks involved.
If the captive was skilled enough to detect patterns of attacks and she/he should store enough memory both before and after effects, one can find the "key" as to when to distract, remove, and give time for things to happen until the next step.
But it was such a heavy duty task to do with no guarantee of safety. In the condition, the captive has improved so much intelligence yet zero to none emotional availabilty.
It is scary.
In the process, there is a possibility that the captive can manage to be the captor. When the role gets switched, another narrative beginsclick to expand
If we were having a coffee, I'd help you pick it all apart and bring a space for you to vent and see just how much you don't need those sides of people that are so disrespectful. On here though we'll just have to do a virtual hug. I'm hearing you! Life is incredibly tough sometimes. Sometimes we just have to dissect what's happening and release each psychological/ emotional tie one by one until they're all released and we're free to go with no holds at all.
many families work that way unfortunately. as for you bringing up scorpios, idk about everyone else but i find they're usually the victims of such. like from my observation, they become really attached with the obsessive toxicity of the dynamic. personally, i grew up with a matriarchal figure who was very tyrannical, easily angered and made sure i knew she couldn't care less about me outside of how i could benefit her. you can imagine that's a pretty tall order for someone who hasn't even had their period yet. and like any other child, you respond still naturally wanting something genuine and warm out of that relationship. but i grew up still trying to 'win' her over until i hit my saturn return and gained wisdom. even my 8th house moon can only take so much like you just can't love someone into loving you or maybe they even have a very different idea of what love or care looks like.
now i just imagine she herself must've grown up with her own traumas coz that's how it is with most women- generational curses. the little i know of her past is that she met this creepy pedo at 14 (don't know how old he was at that time coz nobody ever cares about men aging) then she got pregnant at 15. i can't say that i know exactly how her parents treated her, her creepy cheating husband or how the years have been like to someone who had way too much money and so little of everything else but the way she treated me and everyone around her definitely told me sooooo much. oh and now she has cancer. i know this is awful but i spent all my emotions on putting up with her for like two decades and now my feelings are at a zero, you know?
also reminds me of (perfect too coz she 100% has this vibe):
now i just imagine she herself must've grown up with her own traumas coz that's how it is with most women- generational curses. the little i know of her past is that she met this creepy pedo at 14 (don't know how old he was at that time coz nobody ever cares about men aging) then she got pregnant at 15. i can't say that i know exactly how her parents treated her, her creepy cheating husband or how the years have been like to someone who had way too much money and so little of everything else but the way she treated me and everyone around her definitely told me sooooo much. oh and now she has cancer. i know this is awful but i spent all my emotions on putting up with her for like two decades and now my feelings are at a zero, you know?
also reminds me of (perfect too coz she 100% has this vibe):
Transmuting ancestral karma is hard work but it's worth it in the end. This is how I dealt with similar things. Reparenting my inner child.
Posted by cornmaizeshark
Stockholm Syndrome is just maximal negging.
Got it. So we are talking about modern day slavery here. Hmmm.. I don't see any way out.
@Midatbest what do you think?
Maybe it’s because they realise the bad guys are right. My dad was a psycho but I loved him deeply, I understood him. I understood his fight.
Posted by ThatWomanAgain11
I love this part: 'what you call craving, is the soul's distorted cry for meaning'.
The 'forgotten God' is when a person's connection to the divine has been lost. This connection is being chased and sought through escapism and addiction. Hence the bottomless hunger, because here it will not be found.
That's just being part of a group. Family, gov, team. Etc.
It never seemed like it had to have it's own Swedish name when this "syndrome" is mentioned in ancient texts like the bible.
If you're part of a group, most try to make the best of it. Family and gov youre born into.
It never seemed like it had to have it's own Swedish name when this "syndrome" is mentioned in ancient texts like the bible.
If you're part of a group, most try to make the best of it. Family and gov youre born into.
I haven't read all of this yet so apologies if someone already mentioned it, but i think the most interesting thing about stockholm syndrome is that it isn't real. It was based on a robbery where the police were inept and their psych advisor just diagnosed the woman trying to stay alive with a disorder like the whole thing is ridiculous.
Posted by loveMeLikeASailor
I haven't read all of this yet so apologies if someone already mentioned it, but i think the most interesting thing about stockholm syndrome is that it isn't real. It was based on a robbery where the police were inept and their psych advisor just diagnosed the woman trying to stay alive with a disorder like the whole thing is ridiculous.
What's not real about it? It's named after the place where the robbery happened. Bank robbers held a group hostage and after being held hostage they all defended them to the police, fearing the police more than the thieves themselves whilst the police were there to save them, because of an emotional bond they created with them during their hostage.
I cannot even begin to imagine what the remaining living hostages in Gaza have had to endure for the past 2 years. Absolute terror. Here is one who has been starved and is severely emaciated being forced to dig his own grave, yet you do not see this on the news. You also seen weirdo creepo liberal/woke/progressive westerners ripping posters down of the hostages.
The Red Cross (a useless organization) visited these hostages for the first time in 2 years, and say they are in critical condition!!
It’s no wonder why Trump seriously pushed for an end to this war. I’m thankful for Trump!!
Not to mention, Israel is exchanging 250 prisoners (who the Free Palestine movement claims are “hostages”) who have committed atrocious terrorist acts for these hostages.
Oh, and for the assholes who have been claiming there is a genocide and famine in Gaza going on:
Hamas just released casualty figures for their dead between 7/10 2023-2025.
31,754 Men.
20,179 Children.
10,427 Women,
4,813 Elderly.
TOTAL 67,173.
Two comments;
1. They say there are two million Gazans. Assuming these Hamas figures are correct and not exaggerated, this is the worst genocide ever commited in warfare in a positive sense,
According to Hamas, the all powerful IDF could only kill less than 68,000 Gazans in two years of intense urban warfare by land and by air.
If this is a genocide, the IDF is truly the most incompetant army in the world.
2. As Hamas includes teenagers up to the age of 18 in their child category, and we know they recruit teenagers from the age of 15 into their terror units we can include a portion of their child figures as well as elderly into their dead combatant figures.
3. We end up with the ratio of one combatant to one civilian (as recorded by global experts in urban warfare, including Richard Kemp, Andrew Fox, and John Spencer).
This ratio of one combatant to one civilian death in Gaza, as the lowest ever ratio in the history of urban warfare, still applies in Gaza as the war seems to be coming to its current close.
The morality of the IDF has just been confirmed by no less than Hamas.
Barry Shaw,
Israel Institute for Strategic Studies
The Red Cross (a useless organization) visited these hostages for the first time in 2 years, and say they are in critical condition!!
It’s no wonder why Trump seriously pushed for an end to this war. I’m thankful for Trump!!
Not to mention, Israel is exchanging 250 prisoners (who the Free Palestine movement claims are “hostages”) who have committed atrocious terrorist acts for these hostages.
Oh, and for the assholes who have been claiming there is a genocide and famine in Gaza going on:
Hamas just released casualty figures for their dead between 7/10 2023-2025.
31,754 Men.
20,179 Children.
10,427 Women,
4,813 Elderly.
TOTAL 67,173.
Two comments;
1. They say there are two million Gazans. Assuming these Hamas figures are correct and not exaggerated, this is the worst genocide ever commited in warfare in a positive sense,
According to Hamas, the all powerful IDF could only kill less than 68,000 Gazans in two years of intense urban warfare by land and by air.
If this is a genocide, the IDF is truly the most incompetant army in the world.
2. As Hamas includes teenagers up to the age of 18 in their child category, and we know they recruit teenagers from the age of 15 into their terror units we can include a portion of their child figures as well as elderly into their dead combatant figures.
3. We end up with the ratio of one combatant to one civilian (as recorded by global experts in urban warfare, including Richard Kemp, Andrew Fox, and John Spencer).
This ratio of one combatant to one civilian death in Gaza, as the lowest ever ratio in the history of urban warfare, still applies in Gaza as the war seems to be coming to its current close.
The morality of the IDF has just been confirmed by no less than Hamas.
Barry Shaw,
Israel Institute for Strategic Studies
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The victim develops positive feelings towards their captor/ abuser, which can be incredibly disempowering because it causes a person to lose their personal agency or sense of will-power to act on their own choices and decisions. It happens a lot in traumatic situations and via a complex web that is woven over time of a set of emotional survival strategies that the victim forms to cope with the ongoing emotionally traumatic situation.
Whilst it isn't recognised in the DSM ot the ICD, it entails a deeply-entangled emotional bonding, which can also, but not always be referred to as trauma bonding.