Gem husband doesn't know what he wants

I'm a Capricorn asc Gemini. He's a Gemini with a moon in Libra and a Venus in Cancer.
We met 10 years ago, have been married for 2 years. Our problems started a few months ago.

My husband suffers from social anxiety, depression and his life is not going well at all. Affecting our relationship and my life. He is constantly making bad decisions that is affecting us. Like trust the wrong people, and giving chances to the people who hurt us before. He told me he's lost, doesn't know what he's doing anymore, doesn't feel anything. Just numb about everything.
It started when 2 of his female friends got jealous of us and tried to break us up. It didn't work, but the stress it put us through showed sides of us that made us dislike each other. Thus causing problems in our marriage.

Well, after months of stress caused by those 2 girls, the stress he's going through with his family and financial problems that he never took care of that's catching up on him/us. Plus him wanting to go out every night and me asking him to stay in, leading to him storming out of the house to go out.
Well, since a few days we are broken up.
He is telling his friends that we are done but that the possibilities are out there, but he's telling me something is still possible. That he has to figure himself out first, what he wants. Because he doesn't know what he wants with us at all.

He's been telling me over the last days that he doesn't know what he wants anymore. He is confused about his dreams, and goals. We are running a business together. He still want to run it with me, but doesn't know if he wants to get a divorce, or live with me. He is telling me, and many people that he loves me and always will, but no longer refers to me as the woman of his life.

Last night we met and I told him that we would take care of everything together as a couple, that I wouldn't let him ruin 10 years. That we would resume life and just face the music. It gave him a panic attack. It was too much for him. He kept saying: I don't know what I want. I don't know, I'm so lost. I don't know anymore. I just don't know! Yet, doesn't want my support.

He still wants me in his life, but I don't want to be the woman waiting for him to figure it out on the side lines like he wants me.

What do you think I should do?

You said it yourself. You dont want to wait on the sidelines til he figures out what he wants.

It's your life, darling. Why take advice from strangers when you have your mind half made up, it seems.

FWIW, I agree you shouldn't wait around. Do you. Take care of yourself for a while. Let him take care of himself.

Ive been following your story. You have alot of patience and clearly want this to work out. Sometimes you just gotta let go and see what happens in life.

If you love something let it go. If it comes back to show, that's how you know 🙂

Seriously, I think its best. If you don't, it might seem.to him.like you're smothering him, which it kinda already seems like he feels that way. That will make him make a irrational decision to just run away. No anger, no hostility. Just let each other go on a good note. I mean, I know it's not good really. But on a peaceful note. Not in a fit of rage storm out of each others life, ya know.

Sometimes people don't know what they have until its gone. Maybe he needs to realize that on his own.

get a secret lover till he figures out what he wants...joking...or not...

anyway...a man who allows another woman to get between him and his woman isn't a trustworthy or respectable man...you'll judge that by yourself in time...

Girl, I'm so sorry for your problems and heartache. You need to realize the gems don't have the sturdiness and stability us caps are blessed (or cursed) with.

My advice, tell him to go stay somewhere, seperate for a little while. Give him a time frame - one month, three months, six months - to figure out what he wants and get his thoughts in order. Let him do it alone so he doesn't resent you. See what he does with the freedom.

The fact that he's sitting there in financial trouble and still insisting on going out....smh...No wonder he can't handle his financial responsibilities.

I know I'm a little prejudiced, but for me who was in your situation at one time (without the business), I'm much better off financially than I ever was with the gem.

As far as the business, if you two do decide to divorce, one of you needs to buy out the other and you need to terminate that arrangement. Caps and gems both can get nasty in a divorce settlement and the best advice is for only one of you to arrange it.

I do hope he gets his thoughts together and yall can work it out, though. I hope it all works out in your favor because I know how much you love him.

Whatever you decide to do, stay strong and stay true to yourself!

Not arrange, I mean manage. As in manage the business independently.

We had a good talk yesterday.
I told him I would leave him alone for a week, so he can think. I told him I would cut contact completely to not mess with his head and feelings. He went into a full panic mode.
Told me he can't live without me at all. Need me in his life.
I told him it would be good for him to be alone, he refused, even got mad.
We then talked and he wants everything we already have, or had as a married couple.
But wants more freedom to go out sometimes.
I agreed to it and we decided to get back together. So life will resume for us and we're gonna work on our issues together. But slowly, and while getting the fun back in our relationship.

Then, a close friend of his called me last night to talk about the break up. I told him we were getting back together, that we still love each other very much, and we're still a couple.

He said that he talked to my husband and he said the opposite. We're not a couple anymore. He said I take the break up hard, that he has a hard time saying no to me because he feel bad about everything. My husband said I'm his safe zone he has a hard time leaving. Want to, but can't. That we're not getting back together at all. It's a clear no. He wants to be happy but not with me.

Do I believe my husband, or listen to his friend? 😢

too many friends in your relationship...female friends getting into your business, male friends getting into your business...

what about starting to clean up this place...?!

take arielle's advice also

Well, I'm suspicious about the Gem and nobody else. I've yet to meet a stupid one.

He's probably pooling wool over your eyes, while stealing your money behind your back. Your share will get smaller and smaller, if you delay the divorce. In fact, you will be left with debts. I mean, are not surprised that "debts from the past" appeared right after he declared himself sick of you? Well...that's just the beginning.