lovers to strangers

Been seeing this pisces man in secret..He's seperated not yet divorced..I work with him..Both of us agreed to keep it a secret until the divorce is final..This went on for years..Saw him flirting with a co worker a married one at that with kids..I confronted him but he denied it..Right after confronting him..everything changed..we havent talked eventhough we see each other everyday...He swam away..Now he's having an affair with this married woman...suddenly no one exist anymore but her..He's looking good but very isolated...Doesnt talk to me or he's been indefferent to those people that truly care about him that includes his friends..Now no one wants to get involve..Do we let him go through with it and watch him go down..How do we talk some sense out of him..In his eyes this woman is perfect...And me,I dont exist anymore...no communication whatsoever..It's like we never happened...What do I do?

"What do I do?"

Nothing.

Only give advice if someone asks for it. He is doing what he wants to. This is his life, his choices - let him live it.

Every single one of us is on our OWN unique path of discovering who we are. We learn who we are by the experiences that we have. We can either choose to make our OWN choices or take the choices of others which then mean we are possibly living out someone elses life and not trusting our own instincts. Some people need to experience things a few more times than others - let 'em. They will soon figure things out but, it will be in their time not yours.

"How do we talk some sense out of him" maybe he has all of his senses, maybe he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing for him. Maybe everything is just perfect as it is. Let it be.

Have faith in him that he can handle his own life.

Freebird, you're right. I've backed off, I let him be. He's a true piscean and I'm a true libran and not being able to talked and communicate with him about how i feel is hard but I know in my heart that this is how it should be done. The only thing is we've been friends for 15 years although we've just been lovers since he was seperated from his wife. Lately i've been feeling that i've lost this friendship like i said we're like strangers now. Freebird being the true pisces that he is and knowing him well, i don't want him thinking that i'm punishing him for backing off and not being involve with him on a personal level, I'm just scared that if we start talking like friends again I will say something that will set him off being the true libran that i am. I start dating, knowing him so well he'll think that i'm getting back at him which i'm not i just want to move on and start living my life. That's the hard part too, I haven't been able to tell him all that and everything else that I feel. I want to tell him so much that I'm not bitter and i'm not angry and that i'm glad that he's looking good and looking healthy. I wanna tell him that I have faith in him and that I'll always be there for him .I wanna tell him that he shouldnt feel guilty about anything that concerns me. I wanna tell him that I just want him to be happy.I wanna tell him that he doesnt have to be paranoid.I wanna tell him that his friends misses him so much.How do I tell him all these without saying it verbally? He hasnt called me and he hasnt made an effort to talk to me and I dont wanna make the first move.

Chloe,

He does not NEED to hear what you have to tell him. He has moved on - seems like you are the one who needs to hear what you want to say to him.

You do NOT need to be concerned what he thinks about you or your life - only you need to be concerned about that. If you want to date, date. Why are you holding back in making your decisions in fear of what he thinks? by doing this - you are allowing him to run your life. He has your power. Get it back Missy and live YOUR life - it's the only one you have and it is YOUR responsibilty to be responsible for yourself.

Be grateful for the time you two shared...perhaps the lessons have been learned and it is time for you to grow up and move on.

I know you can do it 😉

"Wouldn't you rather have him come to you
- realizing what he had and lost?
- being healty and self actualized?
- seeing YOU for how wonderful you are?

It would not be satisfying having him come to you because you had to point out to him how sweet and understanding you are.

Let him realize that on his own and if he does come back to you, it will be all the sweeter"

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

"It's been a month now and he has come back to me & is paying me a lot of attention. He has opened up totally. I cannot see him as any more than a friend, but for once, he is acting like a friend to me. I still love him, but I have no choice. He is not offering me what I want and need"

YES THIS WORKS!!!

You have given amazing advice.....Librans should be good with detaching for long periods of time....I was seeing a Libran for a year and have gone through this myself (Im a Leo who didnt want to let go either).....let him see that you are happy, that you're moving on....again take control of YOUR life....he will see a more sexier you this way anyhow...guys HATE women who hang on and become clingy.....get on with your life.....life has a strange way of working itself out 🙂 And yes sometimes they do come back for something so much more and sometimes just as a friend....

Thank you guys. I'm taking it one day at time. I'm still hurting, like you guys said it'll get better with time.

It will - promise 🙂

It is a guy that doesn't care and a depserate woman. End of story.

I'm not a desperate woman, just want to know people's experiences and how they handle traumatic events like mine. I say it as traumatic because i've never lost a loved one, I've never lost a friend, I've never been dumped before. My life has always been peachy up until about a month ago when all this happened. I'm one of those lucky people who's always surrounded by people who cares and loves me, i've always been financially secure.This whole situation has thrown me off balance because I kept it a secret for such a long time which i have no problem with because I have my own house, I have my own car, I can get away to any place in the world at any time with him.I never really thought of it as a lie because no one really asked or got suspiciuos because we're friends for such a long time.I guess this is the price for secrecy. My ego is just so hurt right now. I cant accept the fact that i've been replaced by a not so

I can accept the fact that i've been replaced by woman who talks behind people's back, who has nothing nice to say to people, who's selfish, not at all that attractive, who treats people like crap,who talks to everybody about her problems etc etc..She's got my friend wrapped around her lil finger. Maybe she's good in bed I dont know. Does pisces men like women like these? He's so in love with her, he's doing things thats so out of character of him, he's treating people around him badly now a days.He's becoming like her. He wasnt like these when he was with me, he was a kind and gentle and generous.Is this what happens when a pisces is really in love with someone? I'm actually at a point where i'm embarassed to call him as a friend.

Bijou your right I'm beautiful for not being angry and bitter and i'm a good person and I deserve only good things in my life and I deserve to be happy. As a friend all I can do for him right now is to trust and respect his decisions to be who he is.

Unusual cancer your right he doesnt deserve all this mental and emotional energy from me. I dont envy and i'm not jealous of the woman one bit.

Starfish and Moro your absolutely right its time to forget about him and move on.

Moro your insight about pisceans are so true. Looking back I realized all the things that he did for me and with me.I'm a blessed Libran, at work my position is higher than his, my friends and family are well off financially, I sorrounded him with "perfect people" what I meant was no problems that he could relate to. I didn't have anything to confide in him I mean emotional baggage or issues, everything was peachy. Looking back its funny now that the only thing I asked him for advice really are those insignificant things like what to wear during a party, what present to give to people, where to go on vacation, the furnitures to buy, the kind of car to buy.I didnt worry him with any kind of problems because mainly there was none and second I always think that he's too sensitive to handle any kind of major issues. I didnt want to worry him or stress him out because he's got enough with his divorce and everything.I always wanted to cheer him up and have a good time everytime we were together.MORO your so right, he became someone else with me, he didnt have a chance to be who he really is.