scared to get close?

is anyone else scared to get close to someone? Do any other virgos have that problem?

I totally am. I ALWAYS have my guard up and keep my distance, even with those I trust, in fear of getting hurt. Not a good thing though... pain is inevitable if that is what's meant to be. The only difference is that by keeping your distance and your guard up, is that you end up hurting yourself.

Ive never had a relationship that meant anything because im scared to open up. I dont know how to show im vulnerable. Sometimes i cant even do it in front of my own parents.

Im scared to get close because i dont think im good enough.

Most are scared of getting close, especially if they have been hurt and betrayed before. My mother uses saying all the time and one being...

it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all...

It's true, i except it and have only just gotten through heartbreak where I am not interested in the slightest of seeing this man again because of the pain I felt, however, I don't regret having that time with him. I learnt from this experience and it changed me in good ways too.

Am I too scared to go down this road again? Possible, I will be cautious with the next man I know but I will also try to not let the previous one effect the new relationship. It comes down to living and learning and growing with yourself.

There's never a guarantee that you won't get hurt or even hurt the other...

Posted by IrresistableScorp
@Op, Are you a Capricorn? You look like one. Just asking. 🙂

Plus this:

Posted by leejt86
Im scared to get close because i dont think im good enough.

click to expand

Haha nope, im a Virgo, and I thought i mentioned it

Ive actually started seeing a therapist because i have this problem in all relationships, not just romantic. My anxiety is fueled by it.

wow you nailed it that is exactly me. ive never had someone i dont know just get me like that before

Posted by aquabeauty
If I may ask, then what would it take to not be afraid of a person that has shown you they are there for you no matter what? I know that you are seeking someone who is genuine, understanding and patience. But what else?

I dont know how to tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love. thats gotten me hurt in the past

@Aquabeauty it was for you and @IrresistableScorp you both get me.

For me I need acknowledgement. I need to know they are thinking about me. My biggest fear is that I would be forgotten about, even in a relationship.

Posted by aquabeauty
@leejt86
Okay so if I giving you "acknowledgement" and letting you know that you are thought of everyday and mostly all day as well. Do you allow yourself to relax some? Or after a while, you convert back to the normal you? People normal don't forget about a person, it doesn't what anyone says. Every now and then a person runs across your mind. Even if it's just once a year:

I think its that i need security in a relationship. i need to know i havent done anything wrong.

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by leejt86

Posted by aquabeauty
If I may ask, then what would it take to not be afraid of a person that has shown you they are there for you no matter what? I know that you are seeking someone who is genuine, understanding and patience. But what else?

I dont know how to tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love. thats gotten me hurt in the past

If you are a man, always assume romantic interest. Act that way. Some may disagree, but the LAST thing you ever want to be that strikes a complete blow to confidence is being friend zoned especially if you are working through issues of self-esteem. 🙂

Always go in assuming romantic interest. Let your peacock feathers show a little. If the woman doesn't reciprocate, that's their problem, not yours. Move on with much aplomb!

click to expand

thats really funny you should say that. I never show romantic interest. I never flirt. I treat everyone the same. I like to get to know someone before Im comfortable enough to flirt or show a little interest

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by leejt86

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by leejt86

Posted by aquabeauty
If I may ask, then what would it take to not be afraid of a person that has shown you they are there for you no matter what? I know that you are seeking someone who is genuine, understanding and patience. But what else?

I dont know how to tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love. thats gotten me hurt in the past

If you are a man, always assume romantic interest. Act that way. Some may disagree, but the LAST thing you ever want to be that strikes a complete blow to confidence is being friend zoned especially if you are working through issues of self-esteem. 🙂

Always go in assuming romantic interest. Let your peacock feathers show a little. If the woman doesn't reciprocate, that's their problem, not yours. Move on with much aplomb!

thats really funny you should say that. I never show romantic interest. I never flirt. I treat everyone the same. I like to get to know someone before Im comfortable enough to flirt or show a little interest

I knew it! haha. Try that method a few times...see what happens. How can it hurt? 😄

click to expand

I'll give you an example ( actually made a posting in the virgo forum). I met a girl about 4 moths ago who is a Leo. We have great chemistry and do things together all the time. She had a bf at the time so I was happy being her friend. Now that she's single I'm falling for her and dont know what to do.

Posted by aquabeauty
I just read your Virgo thread,very interesting feedback.

what do you think I should do, should I ask her out? or move on?