Attraction

This is going to be an all-encompassing thread based on a few observations I've been making about my interaction with people, lately.

Firstly, I noticed that I randomly go through periods where 1) I don't attract anyone at all, and 2) suddenly everyone wants to get to know me better. There is never an in-between, never a moment where there is one guy who I find myself getting closer too. Always extremes. I'm often left wondering during these periods why I can't seem to get anyone to suddenly feeling too overwhelmed with people in my life. I'm currently experiencing the latter period; in the grand scheme of things, the latter period would seem wonderful; however, it's rather confusing and I'm not generally the type of person who handles casual dating more than one person very well. I'm usually thinking, "I want to get to know this person more, but what about the other person? He's nice too." I'm usually filled with some anxiety because I want to please everyone (including myself), but I'm forced to make a decision about who I want to give more of my time too; in the back of my head, however, I'm worried that I'm missing out with someone else because I getting to know the other person more.

Now for the second part, I also noticed I'm not approached by guys in general. Compared to my friend who can literally bat an eyelash and have a guy in the palm of her hand, I'm kind of a barren wasteland, lol. While this doesn't bother me in general, I sometimes get a little tired having to do all the work (well, I don't do ALL of it, but I do find myself approaching guys more because I realize nothing is ever going to happen if I don't do something). I certainly feel like an approachable person and I'm usually engaging, but it just doesn't happen really.

So, does anyone else experiencing these things?

I don't consider more than one person at a time. Sure, there are people out there (on here) that believe we shouldn't put all of our eggs in one basket so to speak. But, I would prefer to keep it simple (and not need to remember details of multiple people). In any case, I find it hard to relate, because, although I am NOT approachable and can't even recall someone trying to initiate a pick-up (what's up w/ that—), I find that when I speak to a man (which I will do just to make conversation - damn Gemini placements) they always end up wanting my number. Could just be the type of men I initiate conversation with, IDK. I am drawn to the shy, quite type (but, not geeky or nasty kinds) - look where it got me 🙂

Mind you, the shy, quit types I initiate contact with end up being confident, down to earth types and not into the whole game so to speak.

I'm like the most unapproachable person I know of! One of my friend said that most guys are just intimidated, though I didn't know what that meant at first, but now I'm like bs! I'm fun loving and silly and easy to talk to! But... then I notice that when I'm shy I seem like a person who doesn't want to be bottered, instead of looking shy which is what I feel... I go through the same things @15. My best friend is just as you descibed your friend. Unfortunatly I'm shy when it comes to approaching someone first so.. nothing's happening for me. But when I do have allot of guys to get to know at the same time I just go with it with a flow. I used to worry about it, but I just let it be. Who ever talks to me at the time I talk to too. A friend of mine said hey you're still single so don't worry about how many casual guys there are in your life, or if they keep adding up, you're single and free to choose when and if you want. So that's what I have to remind myself now a days.

Posted by Dianasart
But when I do have allot of guys to get to know at the same time I just go with it with a flow. I used to worry about it, but I just let it be. Who ever talks to me at the time I talk to too. A friend of mine said hey you're still single so don't worry about how many casual guys there are in your life, or if they keep adding up, you're single and free to choose when and if you want. So that's what I have to remind myself now a days.

This was actually a great piece of advice. I have a hard time realizing this; I told my best friend about how I made out with this one guy at a party and she told me, "You're thinking too much. You're single and no one is going to judge you like you think they will."

It is rather hard for me to not consider other people. It's not just about keeping my options open, but knowing that everyone has an equal chance.

I also noticed that when I seem shy, I can become sort of off-putting in the sense that I'm not as great at conversation as I usually am. I try to smile at random people now so I don't seem so cold lol. My friend once told me, and this was before he knew me, that every time he saw me from a distance, he thought I was a bitch; which is far from the truth. I've also been told I'm not approached much because I'm intimidating. I honestly couldn't hurt a fly. 😛

I feel the same, one person at a time. I get into a fluster if there are more than that. Rememeber once arranging two dates and I booked in with them both at the same place and time! Ugh doesnt feel right!

As for being approachable, always with guys that dont stand a chance but never with the ones I would like to talk & to make matters worse I'm always so damn polite that they hang around for ages!! I put it down to if I like someone I CAN NOT not hold the stare or give the look that it's ok to approach and I think it's a Libran trait, I will flirt around but hardly make eye contact for long. If I like someone it just seems the impossible task as I feel shy and less confident than my normal self.

I should make a point of trying to overcome this as I'm over getting hit on by guys that have no chance! Funnily enough I'm not making any contact with them at all and they still approach, mostly I've never even layed eyes on them the entire time...

Posted by sweethearts
I feel the same, one person at a time. I get into a fluster if there are more than that. Rememeber once arranging two dates and I booked in with them both at the same place and time! Ugh doesnt feel right!

As for being approachable, always with guys that dont stand a chance but never with the ones I would like to talk & to make matters worse I'm always so damn polite that they hang around for ages!! I put it down to if I like someone I CAN NOT not hold the stare or give the look that it's ok to approach and I think it's a Libran trait, I will flirt around but hardly make eye contact for long. If I like someone it just seems the impossible task as I feel shy and less confident than my normal self.

I should make a point of trying to overcome this as I'm over getting hit on by guys that have no chance! Funnily enough I'm not making any contact with them at all and they still approach, mostly I've never even layed eyes on them the entire time...

Same here! When I like a guy I am not myself. But when it's a guy I don't like in that way and consider just a friend I'm flirty and fun and grrrr!

And I really learned, well, still practicing, to consider myself more. Keep my options open and dating casual, esspecially when there are more then one on the list, and also to keep things organized, like making sure not to plan something with two different guys during the same time and place. Ouch lol that would be interesting to experience.