Dating question

Hi all,

I've asked this question in a separate area and got an answer that I believe is correct, but would love to get female input:

I have met a Taurus woman and am interested in getting to know her better. Here's the rub:

I am in the process of wrapping up a divorce that will complete on Dec. 15th. I don't want to get involved with the Taurus until I am completely clear, but also don't want to lose the opportunity. Currently we talk to each other when I visit my client(once every 2 weeks) and there appears to be mutual interest on both sides. She is aware of my circumstances, but beyond the conversations I have not directly mentioned that I would like to take her out or get to know her better. I have the opportunity to see her at will because she works for a client of mines, but I don't want to overdo it. As far as I can tell she is currently not seeing anyone. I asked her what her activities are during the weekend and she made a point to mention that the only people she hangs out with are her girlfriends so that seemed like a hint at being available to me(she is currently divorced). Should I just speak to her periodically until Dec. 15th and then ask her out or should I try and move things forward by getting her number?

Well my main concern was holding her interest. If she only sees me once every other week and perhaps for only 15 minutes I figured the interest may fade. She's typically very busy when i see her and I might be able to only get in 1 or 2 questions/comments before she needs to get back to work. I personally saw the phone as a bad idea but was trying to consider ways to maintain her interest until my divorce is complete. I know that other men are currently attempting to get her interest as well.

Posted by Capri-sun
If she knows your situation, whats wrong with being honest in a respectful way.

Something like:

"I'd really like to take you out some time if you're available. You know I'm in the process of getting divorced and everything should be finalized dec. 15. I want to be upfront with you, and if you'd rather wait until it's finalized then I can understand that as well."

That was an option I was considering. While it is remote there is actually legal ramifications to dating before the ink has dried on the divorce. So with that consideration I was leaning more towards after the divorce to ask for the date. With that said do you think it would be a good idea to ask that far in advance? I was concerned about the time in between whether or not it would be awkward.

Posted by troy6886

Posted by Capri-sun
If she knows your situation, whats wrong with being honest in a respectful way.

Something like:

"I'd really like to take you out some time if you're available. You know I'm in the process of getting divorced and everything should be finalized dec. 15. I want to be upfront with you, and if you'd rather wait until it's finalized then I can understand that as well."

That was an option I was considering. While it is remote there is actually legal ramifications to dating before the ink has dried on the divorce. So with that consideration I was leaning more towards after the divorce to ask for the date. With that said do you think it would be a good idea to ask that far in advance? I was concerned about the time in between whether or not it would be awkward.

click to expand

IMO - I don't think that would be awkward. Yes it's a bit unorthodox but she would understand as a Taurus and respect you for that. If you feel she is interested in you, ask her asap. The middle of December is not that far away ...

I wonder what other men you are speaking about - ones that work with her? If that is the case I don't think you have anything to worry about. Of course I think it's the Taurus in me that doesn't play at work. I am full on business at work and do not mix the two. That does make it difficult for me to meet someone because on the other hand I don't go "out" so grocery store, clothes shopping, gas station - where would I meet someone? LOL - well I did, but it was at Home Depot when I wasn't looking. I had taken paint in to get re-matched ...

OK...long pause. I have been out of the dating scene for well over 15 years so I want to try and give this my best shot because this Taurus seems like a good person. Let's say I essentially say what was mentioned before and she agrees to go out with me at a later date instead of immediately..I'm assuming she would want to know that the ex is at least on the way out the door and not still hanging around...please correct me if you think that wouldn't necessarily be her position. Assuming all that to be true then let's also say that during this time period we begin more in-depth conversations getting to know each other...does that take some of the air out of the "date": itself where you would be attempting to get more details about someone? In other words, in an extreme example, if you have sex with someone the same night you meet them does it make a future first date pointless? I apologize if this sounds like I'm trying to shoot down your suggestion. I really don't have the insight from your perspective so I just want make sure I get this is as close to "right" as possible.

P.S. - The men knocking at her door are co-workers.