Divorce

If I hear 1 more person say, "I don't believe in divorce b/c it's against my religion" I'm going to scream!

For those who are Christian/Catholic, I've seen the same scriptures that proclaim divorce to be something God "hates." BUT, what I don't understand though is how those very same people didn't seem to read the scriptures that talk about all the OTHER things God proclaims to hate like adultery, for example.

I've read many scriptures pertaining to God's viewpoint on committing to/involving yourself with someone/somethings that are not spiritually righteous. The way that I took those scriptures were that: Yes, while God hates couples who go before him to make a lifelong commitment (marriage), he ALSO hates those who completely take advantage of their partner/themselves WHILE committed & ESPECIALLY since they made vows before God & their partners NOT to do so. God doesn't want us to suffer b/c of our spouses/partners no different than he advises us to steer clear from any friends/associates who don't seem to respect or love us.

A good friend of mine's co-worker has been CHEATING on his wife for 2 years with his secretary & when asked why he wouldn't just spare his wife the pain & divorce her, he said, "I don't believe in divorce b/c it's against my Cathloic faith." Well, I'm sure adultery is against Catholic faith too just like:
-Lying
-Stealing
-Abusing one's or another's body (just to name a few)
IS TOO.

I find it AMAZING how people pick & choose when they will allow religion to dictate their decisions/ways of life.

Am I all for someone sticking it out with their spouse simply b/c they're married? Of course. BUT, am I all for someone purposely putting up with abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, etc. for examp) all for the sake of what their "priest/preacher" said? NO! If the only reason someone is sticking it out with someone is b/c of their religion then their relationship is in trouble! Stick it out b/c the feelings of love, respect & loyalty are there. But to stay in a marriage with someone you no longer love and/or respect is just plain wrong. People love to use "religion" when it's conveinant!

I'd like to know what you guy's view on divorce is?
If you're FOR it:
1. What are the special circumstances for which you'd finally leave your partner?

If you're AGAINST IT (& especially for religions reasons), explain to me why God would want you to stay in an unfulfilling, toxic, love-less & respect-less relationship/marriage

I am all FOR divorce when it's necessary!

If my spouse verbally, emotionally, physically AND sexually abuses me OR cheats on me 50 times to the ends of the earth, I find it very HARD to believe that God would want me to continue a marriage/relationship with such a toxic person.

Now granted, there are some couples who easily call it quits the minute times get hard, & in those kind of circumstances I'm all for encouraging couples to stick it through & stay together, but not necessarily b/c of religion. I'd encourage "trying harder" to work through problems moreso b/c giving up before addressing the problems results in 1. Future baggage for the NEXT person/relationship since there's no such thing as suppressed issues floating away & 2. MORE problems!

If I saw a couple whose been together/married for 3 years & b/c the man/woman cheated once, but never again, I wouldn't encourage divorce. BUT it'd be a different story if that same couple dealt with long-term abuses, and/or any issues/problems that are not being addressed or fixed. Counseling can't fix everything/everybody. 1 or both people have to WANT to acknowledge the truth & change their ways in order for any counseling to work.

And I think God is a bigger fan of fulfilling relationships involving 2 people who prioritize trust, loyalty, love, respect & a spiritual bond moreso than he'd prefer a couple whose done nothing but hurt eachother, & especially if the outcome of 1 or both people changing certain behaviors gets even SLIMMER as the months/years go by.

@Bella: I 100% agree. And hey, each priest/preacher/religion claims different things. I've literally heard 1 priest/preacher say, "God hates divorce no matter WHAT" & 2 weeks later I heard another priest/preacher say the exact opposite. It's mind boggling!

God is all for the spiritual fulfillment & energies of SELF & it's quite impossible to have those things if you're constantly prioritizing a relationship/marriage with someone who does NOT see those things as important. God not only wants us to stick things through with the person we love, BUT he also wants us to at least know what true LOVE is! It's no different than non-believers and/or half-believers (people that can't make up their mind about religion) to purposely get married in a church, knowing good & damn well they 1. Barely follow the word/way of life God wants them to lead/live.

Being religious shouldn't take away a person's right to use sound judgement & have common sense.

Now granted, there are some who will argue that if people took out the time to thoroughly get to know their partners, instead of jumping the gun (physically & sexually before marriage, against God's wishes), they would've known up front that their partners/marriage would've ended up in shams. BUT let's be realistic here. Sometimes people change LATER ON!

Not everyone comes into a marriage/relationship already as a cheater, for example. They might've been the most faithful & trustworthy person in 2005, but b/c of circumstances/changes in personality/character over the years, that very same 'faithful' person might turn into the world's biggest cheater by persay 2010. And in that case, I encourage only staying married to the person you actually married vs. staying married to the new person they've become in a negative way. It's important for people to remain "up to date" about the person THEY are currently AND the person they are committed to currently. It aint worth a shxt if the person you married 10 years ago was loving IF that very same person 5 years later no longer loves/respects you.

Sure, none of us ever "HOPE" that our partners/marriage will turn out to be 1 big disappointment, BUT hey shxt happens & the reality though is that sometimes there is no way to really know how things will turn out until you're in that actual moment/circumstance & see for yourself. If my man (for example) wasn't abusing me physically around the time we got married, good for him! But if he started abusing me 5 years later, I'd divorce him in a heartbeat

@Ame: I completely agree! And yeah, I also agree that projecting your kids to a horrible relationship can sometimes be just as WORSE. Kids are designed to see love & to see 2 adults getting along & respecting eachother. Young kids don't have any concept of marriage usually until they actually see their parents about to EXIT it! Kids learn about the concept of marriage b/c they are forced to when their parents split up. But beforehand, they could care less if their parents are legally married and/or even together. All they care about is living in/growing up in a peaceful environment.

I don't believe in 2 people getting married just b/c they have kids either. Marrying someone you wouldn't have even married persay you didn't have kids with them is teaching your kids to settle & to put others before themselves. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that marriage is the answer to all their problems. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that THEIR own happiness should be #2 of importance in their life. I want my kids to eventually get married, YES but for all the RIGHT reasons.

I never saw my parent's marriage certificate. Matter of fact, the only reason I knew they were together was b/c of the love & mutual respect they shared for one another. I learned later on as an adult that this exchange of love was by means of them being married to eachother, BUT before I knew they were even technically married, I got to experience what it was like to have 2 parents who love/respect eachother. And this is PRICELESS, especially in a world where everything/everybody is already the enemy. The LEAST parents can do is make sure their own home front is a peaceful environment for their children. It's already bad enough that there is already so much CRAP on the outside; the LEAST parents can do is provide an actual "home" (not just a "house") for their children.

I am all FOR divorce when it's necessary!

Same here, makes no sense to continue with something, just for the sake of it.


I dislike it when people stay in a marriage just for the sake of the kids and don't get divorced. Kids pick up on all sorts of bullshit and it's SO not healthy to subject them to that shit. It's way too much potential to fuck THEM up for their future relationships. I'd rather see a kid in a happy household where the parents may be divorced, but everyone is happy because there's none of that bad vibe shit going on.

Never understood that either. Staying together for the kids doesn't help them, especially if you divorce anyway when they get older.

Aw,that's so nice Krys.I'm glad they and you,had that. 🙂
I wish that was standard.😢




Yeah I'm glad too. I've been blessed to have 2 parents that have actually overcame the statistics that claim the average couple can't stay married for longer than 7 years even if their lives depended on it. My parents raised me to be a smart, intelligent woman. They knew not to "pretend" or fake love b/c after all, children get old enough at some point to recognize when something is real/genuine.

@Cappy: exactly. I'd rather deal with the death of my marriage/relationship BEFORE my kids are old enough to know/see the difference vs. waiting until they are damn near teenagers/adults & at a time when they are fully aware & understanding about relationships.

If 2 people go into something as SERIOUS as a marriage without the proper ingredients needed to keep a relationship afloat, I really wouldn't be doing my children any favors by "pretending" & staying in a relationship/marriage that doesn't even mean a thing to me/for all the wrong reasons.

I'd rather my children love/respect both their seperated/single BUT yet loving/respectful parents than my child be exposed to a toxic relationship. And I say that ESPECIALLY since children 1st learn values/morals about love through means of the examples their parents set. It'd really be abuse if the 1st lesson I taught my kids about love was that settling & putting your happiness #2 (or any other place behind #1) is the answer/key to a good life.

I'm not sure what people are trying to say, when they make claims like, "I believe in divorce."

No matter how you slice it, divorce is a tragedy. And no matter how cynical the attitudes, or how common it may be in your social circles, being divorced still makes you a cautionairy tale.

More people aren't saying "I believe in marriage" anymore, nor do they want to know what that entails. Perhaps that is the root of the problem.

@LovelyScorp

Good morning 🙂 I agree with you 100% ..

Posted by Beetleguese
I divorced religion, it made me scream.

R I G H T?!?!? LMAO Could not agree any more with this statement.

People continue to perplex me that continue to stay in relationships that have become toxic for each other. Why would you do that?? Do you like beating your head against a brick wall? Religion has done such a dis-service of creating guilt in humans and humans forcing to live a lie ....i.e. can't divorce because of the chidlren, can't divorce because I will go to hell. So they continue living this lie of pretending they are Leave it to Beaver family and carry on. I call this sleep walking. I don't know about you all but the God I believe in is a forgiving, loving, and guiding God. I don't think God has ever wanted us to be miserable. I don't believe in eternal relationships unless you are fortunate enough to have found your twin flame and according to the divorce rate.... those are rare. Relationships were never meant to be like forcing a square peg through a round hole. Never think the other person will change either, because this is who they are.

I divorced almost 10 years ago, and I will not lie it has been a hard road being a single mom, however I am living my truth, this I believe is the best example I could ever give my children. Their dad is a wonderful dad and fills my children with a different side of perspective of life. I embrace this for them. I will not lie this is not what I ever wanted for my children, but I also will go to the ends of the earth for my children and so will their dad. They really have a great advantage because they don't have to see their parents miserable, and two sets of influences.

PD