Guy friend has me all confused and stressed.

Hi, I am 26 with Venus in Pisces and have difficulty relating with others due to anxiety. I thought to post here as I do not have many friends to confide in and in need of advice.

I have been in an abusive relationship for 4 years, the wake up call was when strangled. That was months ago and I ended it but he begged me back. My confidence is slowly growing and I know I will be ending it for good soon, he is 31 and scorpio recently diagnosed with MS.

Last year I was in local woods when a man I knew years ago through chatting online approached me as we had seen eachother in around park/woods at distance and he recognised me and asked for my number. We share similar interests, love nature and he is so chilled out as an individual. We met up.a couple of times to go on walks, texting regularly and got to point when I opened up about being in abusive relationship and he was understanding saying things like always light at end of tunnel.

I declined meeting up with him mostly, due to social anxiety of which is is okay about.
Couple of weeks ago on Saturday he invites me over to his house and it was a challenge but I went. Such a chilled out time, talking though I was super quiet and nervous, listening to music, smoking (you know what I mean), drinking. He was a gentleman basically, not like other guys. By just after midnight I was tired ad even though just 5 minute walk from mine he said I could sleep in his bed whilst he slept near his baby parrot downstairs as he has been sleeping like so most recently. Whenever we see eachother he hugs me hello and goodbye, his hug as I was by his bed was different, at time I did not realise but it was sensual in subtle way.

In morning I wake early after best sleep in months. Surprisingly. Sunday morning about 8am I go downstairs and he says I can stay longer as still early. We had breakfast, made me jasmine tea and we had a smoke, had just recovered from tonsillitis so had low energy and he and must have looked tired as after him saying we should meet more, I can stay over again and that he wanted go on walk in woods with me that day, he saud I could go lay on bed chill with the tea and smoke, no rush. I go up, back down as I needed a lighter and he asks if I want him to join me and I said no. I was feeling flustered, he is very attractive leo guy and I look a state in mornings and I tend to have habit of pushing people away.

Sometime later he comes to bedroom and says I will have to go soon but no rush his aun

Sometime later he comes to bedroom and says I will have to go soon but no rush his aunty is coming over inabit and so abit more time goes by and time to go, downstairs he gives me tje unopened wine he got in for me. I was kinda still edgy, he hugged me but I didn't give as much of hug and I did not even say bye properly looking back.


Have texted him couple of times since and he has been ignoring me. So far from the warmth he has. I have said I will post money for the drinks he got in as I did not have purse on me at tome. I feel like I should knock on hs door when I am out on evening stroll with dog and question him because its odd, I did no wrong. Misunderstanding perhaps.

Saw him a couple days ago as he left his house, me and boyfriend were walking and we saw eachother. Its like he was being slow taking it in, was at distance but we were looking at eachother, boyfriend did not notice anything. So quick but like slow motion intense. I then looked away, he was walking in same direction behind us and I did not look back. Now if it it were just me it may have played out differently.

There's been flirtation, catching eachothers eyes and gazing, hugs lingering, putting his hand on my shoulder near neck as,he walked by as I was sat down.

We bump into eachother quite alot regularly just out n about like at woods or like on streets. I feel I need to talk face to face, what do you think? Dreamt about him past couple of nights, last one was me and him sat in a cinema and we held hands, my palms were sweaty though. so annoying. Sorry such long post.

This is confusing, at first I thought you were going to stay with that abuser.. Then it got good like you moved on to a nice guy..now its feels all fucked up again.. Why?

What are you going to do about it? Yeah usually if a guy takes a strange person in and provides the basic needs a person needs to survive and friendship is important..

Why the fuck couldn't you be nice and say thank you to that other guy who showed hospitality.. But then again I don't see that often and would hesitant and caution. Cause that's weird.

..Then you're hiding stuff from you're bff. ..This is ackward.. I don't like confused and ackward and abusers.

I almost feel like my MIT would fight back. Like who the fuck do you think you are...I've done it before with my ex bff and he was a fire sign... Not afraid. Fight back or move and disappear from your location. And then maybe get a restraining order if need be.

First things first ... you're a cheater.


since you are a cheater ... you don't deserve respect. Your abusive boyfriend is exactly what a cheater deserves.


Secondly ... my hope is that the Leo tells your boyfriend that you slept in his bed so that you get the ass whopping a cheating cunt deserves.

Also, you can cut it with your pretending to be na??ve and innocent ... you're not fooling anyone.

Ouch. Man I wish I could read btw the damn lines. But I can't. But still damn that's alot of drama, baggage,.and trouble yikes..

Just don't forget who you are and if you need to be single because you seem unstable. And I don't really like unstable loyalty or behaviour. Who does.

Good luck. Leave this hot mess of a situation.

I see cheating as kissing and getting physical,maybe i am emotionally cheating if such even though still close myself off. I have never cheated on my boyfriend, he cheated on me years back and the girl thought she was pregnant with his kid so he told me. I stupidly did not walk away.

I have always had issues with my confidence, since a young child as I am deaf and never felt I fitted in anywhere. My brother who is 4years older than me, used to abuse me emotionally throughout childhood, talking interacting with my parents and twin sister but not me. When I was studying animal management at college I would not go in some days due to anxiety and just pretend to go out to college but just go back home when everyone went out, one day my brother in and when I opened the front door he came at me and strangled me. Parents kicked him out and he went to live with our aunt.
My boyfriend knew of this.
He knew and yet he did the same, he hurt me more and my neck was in more pain and for days afterwards. As he had hands on me I thought back to when my brother did such. It was different, he was very unhappy, tried kill himself, housebound, felt worthless for many years. He did not leave me in any physical pain but emotional for sure. He sorted himself out, he has been in navy for about 4 years and we now talk and I still have trust issues but its better than how it was, yet sometime I do wonder if he is just pretending to like me and thats disturbing.

I still have some love for boyfriend as crazy as may seem, he knows me so well and weirdly I have bad insomnia when I sleep at mine (still at parents, moving out in couple of months which is great, just me no boyfriend, I am going to end it soon) but I sleep well when at boyfriend's ( lives with his parents).
Its going to be difficult, I know I have been pushing it to back my mind, since I snapped out of it and became aware of fact a few months back that I am being abused as has been terrible emotional/mental/ verbal abuse, he manipulates very well. Since I have not cried, I am a sensitive person who easily gets upset, no fear crying in front of strangers or new people when going through crisis as I have harmed myself in past in highschool, dark times, I will come out of this stronger, I have overcome darker. I have a new job I like, I am more focused on my future, despite all this pain I feel.

I only have 1 friend and she is great, my boyfriend no surprize does not like her one bit. I think i put too much

I think i put too much focus on this new guy, no denying I fancy him but we have common interests and I have poor social skills so this has been lesson learnt. Disapointed in myself and way i present myself to others, thank you for your views x