Number of Sex Partners...

I know the rule is "Don't ask, don't tell" but I'm very curious as to what you people think.

Personally, I believe that a number USUALLY has little to no value (people change, some people handle casual sex better than others, you can add on to that).

I also think that people spend more time worrying about the people who are enjoying themselves doing what they're so strongly against than having fun themselves. People just need to loosen up.

I'm 18 and have only been with one person but my views on sex are slowly starting to shift. And I don't mean be wild, reckless, and rack up as many people as you can but I realized that I have no right to judge (and this is coming from someone who has been called a bible thumper in the past and was told to get off my moral high horse).

Sure, you'd have to question a person if let's say most happened in short amount of time or the number is extreme (such as 30).

I'm asking because there was a heated debate on another forum (my primary one) and there were men who said it didn't matter and then there were men who said they wouldn't trust her and would find her unstable.

I also live in NYC and we're more open-minded so environment might be a factor as well.

I think your experiences always have an effect on you. Everything you do contributes into who you are. So yes it matters to me, just like any other actions in someone's life. As for whether you're an over all good person or not, I'll leave that judgment up to you but I'll always consider your actions into making you a part of my life.

i should have slept with more people.

At 18, and only one sex partner ... your changing of views has only just begun ... for at 18 most people don't even know what their particular fetish is yet, or their true orientation ... for they are still living within the parental/society/religious programming, exclusively.

Once you break free of those chains, and this usually happens when you leave home and spread your own wings in life ... your views will change even more drastically.


It would be impossible for me to count, for several years I was living in a drug-induced state ... but, if I had to guess, I would say I've had probably 200 sexual partners, give or take 25 ... however, it could be twice that. And, my awakening from that period in my life had absolutely nothing to do with how many partners I've had, or did those many change how I view sexuality.

So, is this thread in place because at one time you scolded a person for having sex, and now that you've had sex, you are able to see what all the fuss is about?

That's what life-experiences are for, aren't they? There are going to many, many, many things that people do in which you may not approve and in which you've never even tried before .... and they will leave you to wonder whether you have a right to judge, since you've never walked in their shoes.

Life is about perspective, and always will be ... you have every right to see/judge life as you deem appropriate according to your perspective of what it means.

There was a time after my first big relationship I took a break and time to explore what was out there so I would "know." I'm not saying it was the best experience I ever had, I didn't get to far into it actually. I was as safe as I could have been, but after a while I quit. I started to realize how dangerous, stupid and unbeneficial it was to me. But I will never regret it, it was a very good learning experience. My ex tried to force me to regret it and feel ashamed of that period of time, I felt that it was needed in my life to become more mature and know who I was as a person. And I realized, that is NOT me.

Ill never do it again though. It was a period of experiment, I got lucky that nothing bad came out of it. I would like to retire before the luck runs out.

I need more sex 🙂

^^LOL!

Wow i'm really sorry to hear that NS 😢

Like you, I too went through a phase of trying the casual thing hahaha...I only had 2, but they lasted a little while and honestly I kept it on until my head was so screwed up I would cry all the time (even though I didn't really like either of them, it made me feel really worthless), gosh I was a real glutton for punishment hahaha. Then I finally realised, i'm just one of those people that can't do a casual fling. And I have been sensible ever since 🙂

If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a total whore. I guess I could still do it now, but I'm wise enough to know that multiple sex partners is not for me. I'm like a penguin, I need to mate for life. However, I'm also wise enough to know that having multiple sex partners is really not that important if you look at it in a larger context.

NS,

Sorry to hear that. I say if you come to an understand of what went on, then you can move on without it bothering you. I can only imagine what you've been through and must of took a lot to post it. If only one woman can get something from that, it's good.