Dianasart
@Dianasart
15 Years500+ PostsSagittarius
Comments: 3 · Posts: 591 · Topics: 103
Online to Offline
We've talked on the phone a few times. He's not afraid to call lol
During our first convo it almost sounded like an interview.
I told him I'm not looking for anything serious, and he told me he's hoping to get to know me, sex, companionship, casual, etc. and I was ok with that at first until I met Sag-Match who I'm having this sort of relationship with already, though no sex. Yet. Our intentions might build up to more. So yea, I already know Cap is interested in sex. And it's hard to believe he could have been single for long, or hasn't has a sexual relationship at any recent time.
He is very well built, not to say giant body builder. And he has a very charming smile on his very hansome face. I mean, why wouldn't I want to meet him right? Compared to the one I am interested in he's a God! I don't want to seem shallow but I'm fine with sticking with someone bellow me on the number scale. Like some book I've heard of, it's called... don't date your type... or something like that. Or was it: the right type is not your type. Whatever it is lmaoo
But anyways, though I'm in an open relationship, I don't find myself so interested in others at the moment. I guess I'm just enjoying having an avrage but good guy who makes me happy as I am. I think it's the part that I don't have to try to be better that I like about this guy. And he's comfortable in his own skin too so... something about that is just great! Though I do like to be active and he doesn't look like he is... And I don't can't see myself with someone getting out of shape more and more throughout the years. He worked full time and I'm a full student so I do have more free time on my hands to run around. Any advise in that department?
During our first convo it almost sounded like an interview.
I told him I'm not looking for anything serious, and he told me he's hoping to get to know me, sex, companionship, casual, etc. and I was ok with that at first until I met Sag-Match who I'm having this sort of relationship with already, though no sex. Yet. Our intentions might build up to more. So yea, I already know Cap is interested in sex. And it's hard to believe he could have been single for long, or hasn't has a sexual relationship at any recent time.
He is very well built, not to say giant body builder. And he has a very charming smile on his very hansome face. I mean, why wouldn't I want to meet him right? Compared to the one I am interested in he's a God! I don't want to seem shallow but I'm fine with sticking with someone bellow me on the number scale. Like some book I've heard of, it's called... don't date your type... or something like that. Or was it: the right type is not your type. Whatever it is lmaoo
But anyways, though I'm in an open relationship, I don't find myself so interested in others at the moment. I guess I'm just enjoying having an avrage but good guy who makes me happy as I am. I think it's the part that I don't have to try to be better that I like about this guy. And he's comfortable in his own skin too so... something about that is just great! Though I do like to be active and he doesn't look like he is... And I don't can't see myself with someone getting out of shape more and more throughout the years. He worked full time and I'm a full student so I do have more free time on my hands to run around. Any advise in that department?
Posted by beautifuln9tmare
"ME: I dont think it's going to go anywhere between us and I'm not so interested. Is that ok with you?"
^^ you should of never asked him if it was ok with him. why would you ask that?! lol
what a lame conversation
LMAOOO I know, I know! I sometimes just try not to hurt someone. I asked that the wrong way. More like I shouldn't have asked at all. Because I've experienced hurting someone deeply before and I'm sometimes a sofety :/
Oh man, that totally sounds like this cancer guy I was talking to online who wanted to meet me. He started out perfectly fine, a little pushy, but still cute. Then over time, he went from irritating to downright creepy. This was our first conversation:
(6:16:45 pm)erikbedard:hi
(6:16:48 pm)erikbedard:i think you're hot
(6:16:54 pm)erikbedard😢his number) text me
(6:17:00 pm)erikbedard:http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/profile.php?id=1213098590 can you friend me on fb
(6:17:19 pm)me:lol well thank you sir.
(6:17:32 pm)erikbedard:im on the left in my photo
(6:17:34 pm)erikbedard:sorry it isn't that good
(6:17:36 pm)erikbedard:i love black women
(6:17:42 pm)erikbedard:and think you're really pretty
(6:17:45 pm)erikbedard:so we should go on a date
(6:18:09 pm)erikbedard:and i promise if i had your number you'd be interested
(6:18:13 pm)candeh15:hahahaha woah wait. Let's talk first. I like to get to know people a little.
(6:18:17 pm)erikbedard:because i could send you one photo of me with my shirt off
(6:18:23 pm)erikbedard:and it would make u interested
Definitely just stop speaking to him if he is really bothering you. Every action you make, everything you say, he will spin it around and make it look like you're coming on to him. He may be naive in his pick ups, but it can still be bothersome.
(6:16:45 pm)erikbedard:hi
(6:16:48 pm)erikbedard:i think you're hot
(6:16:54 pm)erikbedard😢his number) text me
(6:17:00 pm)erikbedard:http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/profile.php?id=1213098590 can you friend me on fb
(6:17:19 pm)me:lol well thank you sir.
(6:17:32 pm)erikbedard:im on the left in my photo
(6:17:34 pm)erikbedard:sorry it isn't that good
(6:17:36 pm)erikbedard:i love black women
(6:17:42 pm)erikbedard:and think you're really pretty
(6:17:45 pm)erikbedard:so we should go on a date
(6:18:09 pm)erikbedard:and i promise if i had your number you'd be interested
(6:18:13 pm)candeh15:hahahaha woah wait. Let's talk first. I like to get to know people a little.
(6:18:17 pm)erikbedard:because i could send you one photo of me with my shirt off
(6:18:23 pm)erikbedard:and it would make u interested
Definitely just stop speaking to him if he is really bothering you. Every action you make, everything you say, he will spin it around and make it look like you're coming on to him. He may be naive in his pick ups, but it can still be bothersome.
WOW! thanks! this is all really helpful!
Well hey if you don't want to talk to the 2nd gut (hotter) then be true to yourself & be content in that. Don't start being passive/aggressive. Yes, it's good that you've let the 2nd guy know how you feel (or lack thereof) BUT, you've got to put some action into it. If you don't want to meet him or conversate with him anymore then quit responding when he texts/messages you. It's that simple. Trust me, he heard you the 1st time when you told him that you were no longer interested. So at this point, it's on you. This guy is CLEARLY going to keep acting like he didn't hear you so now the ball is in your court. If he's bothering you THAT bad, cut off the contact. Stop responding to him. He'll eventually leave you alone.
And honey, it's okay to be honest about what you are/aren't attracted to. I'm sure some of that stuff in that book you read was true, BUT what ever happend to following your own heart's desires? The author of that book wasn't representing YOUR heart when he/she wrote it so don't ever forget about originality in all of this.
You have some valid concerns about the 1st guy, BUT I guess it comes down to whatever it is that you value the most: Hot looks on someone who is clearly not even looking to go in the same direction as you, or someone who is just "Decent" but seems to tickle your fancy? Hot guys aren't rare honey. THey come a dime a dozen. BUT, finding someone whom you generally like & whom you don't have to go out of your way to impress (OR repeat yourself a dozen times) IS rare.
On 1 hand it sounds like you'd rather see where things go with the 1st guy b/c you're judging this from your own feelings of comfort. But on the other hand, it seems like your esteem & the fact that this guy is someone you won't/don't have to compete with, is what's the driving force behind your decisions; and that's not good. This shouldn't be about competing or outdoing the other person. It shouldn't be about feeling great about someone all b/c you feel they are physically inferior. You know in your heart where you want to be so quit wasting your time overanalyzing everything, suck it up & see where things go with the 1st guy.
And hey, if things don't work out, fine, move on. But don't purposely keep this other guy around as if he's "PLAN B" when you already KNOW NOW that he's not what you're looking for as a whole.
And honey, it's okay to be honest about what you are/aren't attracted to. I'm sure some of that stuff in that book you read was true, BUT what ever happend to following your own heart's desires? The author of that book wasn't representing YOUR heart when he/she wrote it so don't ever forget about originality in all of this.
You have some valid concerns about the 1st guy, BUT I guess it comes down to whatever it is that you value the most: Hot looks on someone who is clearly not even looking to go in the same direction as you, or someone who is just "Decent" but seems to tickle your fancy? Hot guys aren't rare honey. THey come a dime a dozen. BUT, finding someone whom you generally like & whom you don't have to go out of your way to impress (OR repeat yourself a dozen times) IS rare.
On 1 hand it sounds like you'd rather see where things go with the 1st guy b/c you're judging this from your own feelings of comfort. But on the other hand, it seems like your esteem & the fact that this guy is someone you won't/don't have to compete with, is what's the driving force behind your decisions; and that's not good. This shouldn't be about competing or outdoing the other person. It shouldn't be about feeling great about someone all b/c you feel they are physically inferior. You know in your heart where you want to be so quit wasting your time overanalyzing everything, suck it up & see where things go with the 1st guy.
And hey, if things don't work out, fine, move on. But don't purposely keep this other guy around as if he's "PLAN B" when you already KNOW NOW that he's not what you're looking for as a whole.
And make sure that you're not just mentally "settling" all b/c you only have 2 options. Be honest. If neither of the 2 are guys you can honestly see yourself investing in, then don't force yourself to "PICK 1" all for the sake of not wanting to be alone or be left w/o options. If you know deep down that you'll never be able to live down the things you DON'T like about either of these guys, then don't waste your time.
In whatever you do, make sure that you're not comparing these 2 men b/c if you do, sometimes you'll see more than what is actually there. In other words, don't "HYPE UP" or "Hype down" the traits in 1 just b/c the other is lacking b/c if you do that, you'll be playing a mind trick on yourself. And the goal is to always know exactly what you're getting yourself into. Know what you want before you start making moves.
And I do agree that once a person finds someone they can possibly see a future with, that dating multiple people should eventually begin to cease. After all, you can't focus on or see the true value of the friendship/relationship with 1 person if you're trying to share/split up your time with so many other people. Sure, keep your options OPEN but don't just run for the other options unless you know for a fact that they'll be worth it. Sounds like you're keeping the hot guy around just b/c he's still willing to stick around. You don't even know WHY he's still around & it's clear that he just doesn't have that "UMPH!" you're probably looking for. So be real. Let him go. Have enough confidence in yourself to believe that even if neither of them work out, you'll still find someone whose exactly your "nitch" in the future or soon after. Having that mindset prevents you from settling
In whatever you do, make sure that you're not comparing these 2 men b/c if you do, sometimes you'll see more than what is actually there. In other words, don't "HYPE UP" or "Hype down" the traits in 1 just b/c the other is lacking b/c if you do that, you'll be playing a mind trick on yourself. And the goal is to always know exactly what you're getting yourself into. Know what you want before you start making moves.
And I do agree that once a person finds someone they can possibly see a future with, that dating multiple people should eventually begin to cease. After all, you can't focus on or see the true value of the friendship/relationship with 1 person if you're trying to share/split up your time with so many other people. Sure, keep your options OPEN but don't just run for the other options unless you know for a fact that they'll be worth it. Sounds like you're keeping the hot guy around just b/c he's still willing to stick around. You don't even know WHY he's still around & it's clear that he just doesn't have that "UMPH!" you're probably looking for. So be real. Let him go. Have enough confidence in yourself to believe that even if neither of them work out, you'll still find someone whose exactly your "nitch" in the future or soon after. Having that mindset prevents you from settling
Yea I haven't spoken to him since that one night of texting I put up here. That was the second time I canceled on him and also the time I told him we shouldn't meet, that I'm not interested. And that's when he got creepy. He texted me a few times after that night asking me to join him at a rave or something, and once in the middle of the night asking if I was awake (though I saw that in the morning). I haven't replied to any of it. I wanted to be nice at first and let him off easy but I can imagine him having fun bugging me so I'm not giving him any attention. And if he does start with phone calls, or worse, because he does know the area I live in, then I am so going to call the police! ... why? because I don't want to change my number lmaoo I finally remember it without checking ^_^
And the guy I'm dating right now, we went on a second date last night. Even though I said he's bellow me on the scale, and I really don't mean to sound so shallow about that, I found myself worrying about small details about myself thinking he wont like me lol I like him more and more. But since it is too soon I'm trying to let myself not be too attached.
"And honey, it's okay to be honest about what you are/aren't attracted to. I'm sure some of that stuff in that book you read was true, BUT what ever happend to following your own heart's desires? The author of that book wasn't representing YOUR heart when he/she wrote it so don't ever forget about originality in all of this." -Krysrenee7
LOL I didn't mean it that way. I can't remember the exact tittle but it kind of ment that you shouldn't just date your 'type' and that the guy should have everything that's on your 'checklist' and I guess I was just trying to use my situation as an example of how much truth there can be in it. Because, it's easier for me to fall for someone who seems perfect and looks perfect too, but I'm falling in 'like' with this guy instead. --- okay... I think I read about this book in another forum because this was disgused somewhere... Anyway, and no, I'm not so confident in myself after all :S I'm working on it though.
And the guy I'm dating right now, we went on a second date last night. Even though I said he's bellow me on the scale, and I really don't mean to sound so shallow about that, I found myself worrying about small details about myself thinking he wont like me lol I like him more and more. But since it is too soon I'm trying to let myself not be too attached.
"And honey, it's okay to be honest about what you are/aren't attracted to. I'm sure some of that stuff in that book you read was true, BUT what ever happend to following your own heart's desires? The author of that book wasn't representing YOUR heart when he/she wrote it so don't ever forget about originality in all of this." -Krysrenee7
LOL I didn't mean it that way. I can't remember the exact tittle but it kind of ment that you shouldn't just date your 'type' and that the guy should have everything that's on your 'checklist' and I guess I was just trying to use my situation as an example of how much truth there can be in it. Because, it's easier for me to fall for someone who seems perfect and looks perfect too, but I'm falling in 'like' with this guy instead. --- okay... I think I read about this book in another forum because this was disgused somewhere... Anyway, and no, I'm not so confident in myself after all :S I'm working on it though.
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The second guy, haven't talked to him as long but we were planing to meet. But after my date with Sag-Match I wasn't so interested in him anymore. Though he is a very attractive man. But he's 28 and the closer the age to mine, the better! That's how I feel. And I've been trying to tell him that I'm not interested in him in a nice way but he is creeping the shit out of me now! And my favorite: "U still think im hot, right?" And last night: "U still up, love?" "Love?" "Babe" What's going through this guys mind. Some of the things I've texted him, let me just put it out as a convo so it's clearer and you guys can give me you opinions...
[last night]
ME: Hey, i have 2 cancel on u again. We cant meet
(I'd already canceled once because I changed my mind and didn't ask if he was free on any other day just to make it clear that I'm not so into him.)
HIM: Why, babe? I want to see u
ME: I dont think it's going to go anywhere between us and I'm not so interested. Is that ok with you?
HIM: No, i really like u and think we have a future together.
HIM: Maybe even a baby together. We feel perfect for each other, Di.
ME: Um lol I dont think so.
HIM: Babe...
ME: ......... No.
ME: I dont want to be a bitch about this but im just not so interested anymore.
HIM: Babe, i gotta crush on u and im really hot. Dont be a bitch!
(horney 'hot' or I'm sexy 'hot' and how can you reject me?)
ME: Im not feeling comfortable talking with u any more. Sorry to have wasted ur time but good night.
HIM: U still think im hot, right?
ME: Yea lol u have nothing 2 feel insecure about trust me!
(he is gorgeous what can I say?!)
[midnight]
HIM: U still up, love?
ME: Yea. N im not 'love'
ME: Or 'babe'
[morning]
Morning, hun!
He's a Cap by the way. What can I say to make it clear to his moron? He has my number and I don't think he's going to stop calling when he does start calling. Would it be easier to tell it all in his face??