OVER-RATED

What are some of the things, you guys feel are over-rated in relationships/marriages?

-Love in general?
-Sex?
-Marriage?
-Chivalry?
-Gender roles?

I'm just curious to find out what you guys think.

So many relationship books, counselors & elders are always ready & willing to tell young and/or new couples what it'll take to keep the relationship afloat. BUT, what I've noticed is that some people just generally (and sometimes even purposely) rebel against tradition/gender roles just for the sake of proving that their relationship can work w/o engaging in the typical things other couples engage in, in order to make the relationship work.

If you ask me, I think expecting for your partner to remain in great physical shape at all time is OVER-rated! Sure, does the average person PREFER for their partner to remain eye candy during the whole relationship like they were in the beginning? Well sure, BUT it's to the point now though where people are literally bailing out on their soulmates/partners all b/c they can't stand to see their partner's "new look" or change in physical appearance.

Honestly, while it is understandable for the average person to prefer their partner stay the way they were when they met that person, it should ALSO be an understanding that women/men age & the reality is that if you can't even accept your partner when they gain a little weight (for example), then how in the hell did you expect to remain with that person for the rest of your life, persay you are actually married to them.

I've heard so many stories of men leaving their girlfriends/wives b/c their partners gained weight and/or doesn't look the same. I've even noticed that alot of relationships are starting to crumble b/c of lack of sex (even though an increase in stress/work load/other responsibilities are usually present around the time the sex starts lacking).

Hell, I'd love to see the typical man keep that great body & those great muscles 30 years from now! I'd love to see the average man humping his woman like a rabbit when he's 60 or 70! Now granted, I am all for couples who encourage 1 another to remain atleast healthy, BUT what I can't stand are the people who put more emphasis on marrying/committing to a person's BODY moreso than that person's mind/heart.

If a man/woman will leave his/her partner b/c of a few stretch marks, then how on EARTH are they going to be able to handle their partner when the grey hairs start coming!

If a man (example) starts straying from the relationship all b/c his girlfriend/wife gained a little weight or starts to have a decrease in sex drive, then how on EARTH is that couple going to survive when the man becomes incompetent (and this WILL happen eventually!)?

I think people should have the right to be with someone they consider physically attractive, BUT I think there is TOO much emphasis on beauty nowadays. Beauty can only fulfill you but for so long. There's only a couple hours out of every day (IF THAT) where someone's beauty will even matter (during sex, for example). The rest of those 24 hours is spent with actually getting along with AND dealing with your partner's mind, personality & character. And where I come from, majority rules!

I think the marriage ceremonies are over-rated. But fuck what I think if it would make her happy.

@Cancer: Good points. I think hurt people, hurt other people. And most people who hurt others all have something in common: They're LACKING love in some way, shape, form or fashion, whether it be they're lacking love from self, from family, from childhood, or from their partners. There is ALWAYS some sort of lack in love.

Sex: Some people def. put WAY too much emphasis & priority over sex, But I also agree that it IS important. Is it necessarily the # 1 importance in any relationship? No, b/c sex isn't AND shouldn't be the only thing that keeps 2 people together, therefore it shouldn't be #1 in importance.

Marriage: I think marriage can be over-rated but I say this when having those kinds of people who feel marriage is the only way to be happy & feel complete, in mind. I'm talking about the kinds of people that are more in love with the CONCEPT of marriage, moreso than they're in love with the actual PERSON they are married too. There's also wayyy too much emphasis on the actual wedding nowadays too. Everyone should be entitled to wanting/deserving the perfect wedding day; there's no doubt about that, BUT some people take it to the extreme & try to live above their means.

By gender roles I mean, the kinds of people who purposely will/won't do certain things all b/c of society's gender roles. Some women (for example) hate cooking every day, BUT b/c society says women should be the susie-homemakers 365 days a year, some women literally are more dedicated to fulfilling some type of societal gender role moreso than they are dedicated to what THEY actually want/ who THEY ARE individually. These kinds of changes in societal gender roles are everywhere: Women are no longer okay with being stay at home moms, men are no longer upset when they're wives/girlfriends are just as independent & are just as much providers as they are. Some people are married to the gender role moreso than they are to who they really are. THESE kinds of people make gender roles over-rated.

Chivalry: I think it's under-rated too especially since it's something alot of couples are seeing less & less nowadays. I think it's still important. #1 in importance? No, but it's def. still important. If a man doesn't open every single door I walk through, will I love him less OR see him as less of a man? No, BUT to me chivarly plays a big part in romance no different than sex does. It's about going that extra mile to show appreciation for your partner & THAT is important, whether it's done through traditional chilvarly or whatever.

Sex can be over-rated too in many other ways. Some people are literally willing to DIE all in the name of having a 20 minute fling with someone. People are willing to allow sex to ruin their lives, health & relationships. ANd I don't believe ANYTHING is worth that, thus those people who give sex THAT much power are the ones who make sex as over-rated as it is. Hell there are unwanted babies/lives being born all b/c someone put too MUCH of a high priority on sex. THIS is 1 of the other many reasons I feel that while sex IS important, it's also over-rated. There is NOTHING worth contracting HIV over or having an unwanted pregnancy over. The consequences of having sex far OUTWEIGH the advantages sometimes.

Posted by LovelyScorp

shush your mouth! I'm a wedding and event planner....the marriage ceremonies are very important... $ $ $ $ $ ....what are you talking about? 🙂

Yes. The ceremonies are very important. Its just they're over-rated. Won't stop me from having one of my own. 😛

Its like the Halo video game series. Its so dang over-rated and full of hype but I bought the 2nd, 3rd, and ODST just because.

@Fiesty...see here's the thing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your wedding day to be as special & as close to your dreams as you imagined things to be. Hell we all want to be millionaires, for example. We all have a "vision" of how we want things to be, BUT then there's reality.

It's not a good thing for a couple/person to live about their means before they're married, so why people think the same rule doesn't apply all b/c they're deciding to get married is beyond me. If a person doesn't have the money to have their dream wedding, they either need to 1. Save up until they DO have the money OR 2. Try to compromise on certain things. After all, people are supposed to be celebrating the union they are forming with their partner. The decorations, wedding dress, cake & guests are all there as like the "icing" on the cake.

People, especially women can sometimes be more in love with the concept of marriage & their wedding day moreso than the actual person they are even getting married to. It's not EVER smart to make bad financial decisions & ESPECIALLY not on your own wedding day, considering there is not 1 person on this earth who actually loves being in debt. And since money is the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S., I don't think it's smart to START OUT already making bad financial decisions.

Some people are just not patient. Their ends don't justify the means. If I can't have that $ 3,000 wedding cake/dress I wanted, yes it'll suck BUT what will suck even MORE is me having to break my back & bank account trying to scrounge up the money for something I'll only wear/eat/see once. People need to remember that the wedding day is just the beginning. People can be so spoiled. It's okay to have dreams & want nice things BUT just like everybody else, you have to work/save for those "nice" things. And if you can't have those nice things, suck it up & compromise.