moonrvr46
@moonrvr46
5 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 33 · Topics: 9
Please advise- friend's toxic possibly abusive relationship. Virgo Male/Cancer Female
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Hey everyone! So I’m a Virgo (9/21) and he’s a cancer (7/20). We’ve been talking for about a year now and he does this disappearing thing where he won’t talk to me for weeks-months. (I don’t text or try talking to him during these times because I have a l
2 years ago I met this girl (she's a Virgo woman), let's call her A, who changed my life forever (I'm a cancer woman). We became best friends, literally attached at the hip. We were both living at college and I hated my roommate so I slept in her room alm
So I was talking to this cancer man and everything was going well. but OMG did he have a lot moments where it felt like we would take one step forward and he'd jump 20 step back immediately. So we both are looking for anything serious and agreed with goin
I am so confused about this and at this point i'm ready to walk but before I do I just want to make sure i'm not in the wrong here
I'm a virgo 09/17 and he's cancer 06/23 ; we both agreed that we would continue to talk, date, see each other and feel each
alright so I've been talking to this cancer and I previously posted about this
things were great, we went from dating, casually seeing each other, to hooking up as we went out on dates. he changed his mood cause of cultural differences, etc and wanted to
Any good? Should I give this another shot
Being alone in this distance place, no family, no friends makes things more difficult. I'm single mom of 2 kids for 11 years. Seriously!
I'm a Virgo and I met this cancer guy on the dating site. At first he persuade me on have online relationship. Well t
They were fighting and he took her phone away. She was trying to get it back and reaching for it - he was seated and eating. Accidentally she grabbed for it (it was under his thigh) and a bit of food spilled on his lap so he pushed her so hard she went across the room and fell on the couch.
Of course a few mins later he was very apologetic and acknowledged he was wrong.
So - he hasn't repeated the physical behavior after apologizing, but after speaking with her further, it appears he often takes her phone away when he doesn't want her to walk out on him or leave or they are fighting (she got so mad she booked a hotel once and left and since then it's been this way). Or he will accuse her of flirting/talking w/guys at bars (pre COVID).
Apparently once they went out with friends to a bar, and while waiting for a dart board to open up, she went to the bar to get a drink and started talking to some people (couples, guys, girls, not just guys) while waiting for her drink, and he came over and berated her in front telling her she needs to be right next to him and that he took her here specifically so she can meet and spend time with his friends - ....wth—?
He doesn't always tell her what to do but he's very critical and tells her that all her guy friends are friends w/her because they want to sleep with her.
They do have good times it seems but those do not seem worth it at all to me!!!
So I spoke w/her this morning:
I told her no matter what she decides, I will be here as her friend.
I explained my concerns about the relationship overall, but most definitely after she told me about the pushing and taking phone away multiple times on difference occasions, that the behavior was alarming and disrespectful in any situation. We are in our 30s....that is unacceptable. It's also disrespectful.
I explained that I don't like his constant criticism towards many things she does (she can't drive so he always has to drive; she can't cook so he has to; that he tells her some of her guy friends just want to sleep w/her). She said it's because he's an old soul and old-fashioned. *sigh* That he doesn't stop her from hanging out with her guy friends, he is not jealous nor possessive of her. I told her that it's not normal for him to make snide comments about how she wants to sleep with them or they and other stranger guys want to sleep with her (admittedly she is very pretty, even girls make comments that she is pretty often). She said he's joking.
I told her that the push itself concerns me. I know he apologized several times and appears to be remorseful, but how can he do that? She's like around 5'2 and he's 6'' at least...she could have gotten hurt if there was a wall, table, anything other than a couch. That was pure luck! If it happened once, it could happen again. Not saying it will, but it could and shows a dark side of his personality. She said they have been together a few years and this is the 1st time it happened. That he is prior military (Marine for nearly 8 years) and she got too close to him and he reacted because of that. **sigh**
I told her I don't like that he has publicly yelled at her. She said it was one time only.
I told her there is a male chauvinist vibe to me that makes me fear that this behavior will eventually result in him over time perhaps becoming possessive/jealous/controlling (he already shows signs of this)...again, old fashioned is the excuse.
I learned that his father was abusive to his mom, and neglectful his brother growing up...that he never in a day got therapy for this. So I told her perhaps he needs to get therapy so he doesn't follow in his footsteps? She said he's very close to his mom so he won't end up like that.
I told her I don't like that he jokes about replacing her birth control with sugar pills and that he tells her they will be married w/in months....none of that is funny to me. The BC thing is not funny one bit; the marriage thing again seems like control...they both should decide this together (not that I think they need to marry!)
I am so frustrated right now this is all I recall...I'm admittedly angry. I didn't show her that though. I told her I will be here as she needs. Nothing will change but at least I tried and will. Thanks for letting me go on and on.
He: Virgo.
She: Cancer.
Thoughts?