Top relationship killers

1. Friends & family. It's impossible to like or be liked by every relative/friend your partner knows, BUT maintaing friendly & civil relationships with the closest people in his/her life is essential in keeping your relationship afloat.

2. Life's trials/tribulations. Not everyone can maintain a "friendly attitude" or keep up with their old selves when life throws them a hard ball, BUT it's essential to remember that your partner's happiness & needs still need to be fulfilled even when you're at an all time low in your life. "Life" is never an excuse to stop giving your partner what they deserve. When your plate gets full, DON'T start throwing good things off your plate; just get a bigger plate!

3.3-party vendors. Don't allow your nosy/bitter friends into your relationship. Remember that you & your partner were the only ones responsible for making the relationship official/happen in the 1st place, therefore others outside of your relationship should NOT be the cause of the end of your relationship. At the end of the day, all arguments/disagreements should just be b/w you & your partner, not you, your partner & his/her mother and/or best friend.

4. Bad habits that are NOT temporary. We can all deal with a few of our partner's flaws every now & then, BUT people will quickly look for an exit if they can see that you never acknowledge or work on your shortcomings. It's not about being perfect. Pick your battles. If they leave hair on the sink every blue moon, that can be handled with the right delivery, approach & words. BUT if your partner leaves their dirty underwear on the floor 365 days a week, don't be surprised when they don't wanna hear that "For better of for worse" crap! With some people, you either get it together or get gone!

5. Too much comfortability. It's a GOOD thing when couples can be 100% themselves around eachother, BUT remember that even your boyfriend/girlfriend still appreciates a little surprise/spark every blue moon. Being unpredictable/surprising/non-routine is a GOOD thing. Always appear to be an ever-changing individual whose always got more & more to offer--that way the need for "variety" from others/someone else won't be as potent.

6. Not being on the same page. No 2 people (even those most compatible) will be alike. BUT, if you & your partner don't have the same goals and/or aren't going in the same relationship, things will eventually go sour. Someone should NEVER have to choose b/w their ambitions & their significant other. Relationships go alot smoother when BOTH people want the same things.

7. Baggage. Alot of people will understand that you've been through alot. BUT what they WON'T appreciate is you constantly living in your past and/or making them suffer b/c of what some other Ahole did to you. Your partner wants to be with the stronger you, not the person you used to be or wish you were. It's not your partner's job to "fix" the holes others have made/dug. After awhile, they'll feel like they're damned if they do & damned if they don't and if someone appears to be unsatisfiable, it takes the fun out of the relationship. People want to be your significant other, not your counselor 24-7.

8. When the pace is too fast OR too slow. We all can understand that it might take some people a little bit longer to trust than others, just like we understand those who are free-spirited & don't have any problems trusting others. BUT the fastest way to kill your relationship is to constantly go at a different speed on things than your partner. You 2 should be walking together & side by side. NOT 1 person always lagging behind or walking in front of the other. Don't rush things but then again don't go so slow that a person eventually loses interest and/or drives off! No one likes waiting but then again no one likes to be rushed either. Find a happy medium.

9. Not having a life outside your partner. Sure, your man/woman appreciates that you love them dearly & that you love spending alot of time with them, BUT too much dependence ruins things. Your partner might start out being flattered that you can't seem to live w/o them, BUT eventually it'll get old, especially when they're ready to do things by themselves or with others for a change. Too much independence ruins things too; people like to feel needed. If you never let your partner do for you or be there for you, they'll just get the urge to move on to someone who WILL need/want them.

10. Cheating. Seriously, if you're not happy that's fine. Hey, atleast you were honest. BUT if you're THAT unhappy, do yourself AND your partner a favor & leave the relationship altogether instead of cheating. You should NEVER have to go to someone OUTSIDE of your relationship to fix the issues/problems going on INSIDE of your relationship. If you're no longer interested in your companion, spare them the heartache & move on. Trust me, they may not like that you left them, BUT if it's all about their feelings, trust me they'll hate you even more if you keep them around and yet punish them all b/c YOU didn't have the balls to leave.

11. Money. (Nuff' said)

12. Disrespect. Yeah yeah, sometimes your partner might bring/provoke you to a point of rage, BUT watch out for those low blows. Tone down all the name calling. The more you verbally/emotionally/physically beat down your partner, the more they'll grow to despise you. A person is only gonna tell you but so many times that they DON'T appreciate being/feeling disrespected. Don't understimate someone who put their heart on the line for you b/c you'd be surprised at the level of strength they'll have 1 day to leave your ass!

13. Lack of boundaries. Don't be afraid to have standards, expectations & make it very clear what the relationship boundaries are. It's not about being insecure or controlling your partner like a child. It's already bad enough that the rest of the world will try to test you & throw temptation your way. The LEAST you can do is not put your selves in environments/situations that most other couples crumble under too. Don't be too overbearing but then again don't be naive/too trusting either. Be realistic. People with standards are sexier & maintain longer lasting relationships than those who don't have any. Backbones are attractive! And if your partner can't handle your backbone, you're with the WRONG person!

14. Double standards about the opposite sex. If you feel you're entitled to have as many platonic opposite sex friendships as you want, don't even try getting jealous, insecure or argumentative when your partner does the same. Don't do OR engage in anything that you wouldn't be comfortable with your partner doing/engaging in. It's not fair that you're aloud to have 5 friends of the opposite sex but yet frown upon your partner when they have opposite sex friends too. And for goodness sakes, make sure these people are actually REAL & platonic "friends." Not your ex or past FB disguised as a "friend."

15. Laziness. Make sure you're always doing YOUR part. Make sure your partner is not the only one responsible for keeping the relationship afloat, the household clean and/or the needs being fulfilled. All relationships are like full time jobs! They require work! And if you're unwilling to do what it takes to make things "work" then you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. No, don't sit & watch your partner squirm at doing all the work--if you can't handle your load, do both your partner & yourself a favor & leave!

16. Guessing or assuming everything. Your partner may know your favorite color and/or be able to finish your sentences sometimes, BUT they can't read your mind. Say how you feel. Stop assuming that someone automatically/naturally knows what you want, how you feel or what you don't appreciate. If you have questions, ask. But if you continually guess or make assumptions w/o trying to get some clarity from the 1 person who can give it to you, your imagination will eventually run wild & take you to dark places. And after awhile, you'll end up having a false perception of them w/o even realizing it. BIG NO NO. Men, we know that you're not as verbal with your feelings, BUT for goodness sakes you've gotta say something! Stop assuming that we ladies know how you feel!

17. Making up to break up. Sure, everyone deserves a 2nd chance. Every relationship will eventually get to the point where 1 or both people atleast start considering things to come to an end. BUT, breaking up just to make up is childish & manipulative. Every time you leave/abandon your partner (even if just for a few hours or day) you are putting STRIKES on your "relationship stability" board. There's only so many times a person is going to keep putting up with/appreciating you walking out on them, especially if you did so w/o trying to fix the problem 1st. Don't get back into a relationship unless the problems that caused you to breka up in the 1st place are squashed. And if you're gonna forgive someone who betrayed you, actually forgive them before you allow them entrance back into your life. But don't keep holding something over their head. You getting back together sends the message that the issues are squashed & handled. If not, don't get back together.

18. Passive-aggressiveness. If your partner feels that you never have enough balls, they'll stop trusting your judgement and/or you altogether. If you believe in something, stand up for your beliefs even if no one else agrees. Don't hint around at/to things. Say what you mean & mean what you say.


19. Minimizing issues. Sure, we all like to make up or look for those "quick fixes" all just for the sake of making sure we have atleast 1 "good/fun" day with our partners a week, BUT don't supress the issues. Don't say, "I ONLY cheated once." Don't minimize relationship issues. If you have to avoid the harsh truth all just to have a smooth/peaceful relationship, you're in the WRONG relationship. If something is continually eating away at you, speak on it until you finally feel better & like you can move on.

20. Provoking jealousy/insecurity. Sure some people were insecure regardless, BUT some people only become this way if/once you've provoked or given them a reason to be. It's a cop out when people say, "Oh quit being insecure" especially if you've done something to warrant that. The only thing WORSE than actually doing someone wrong is giving off the impression like you are doing something wrong! It's not fair to yell "quit being so insecure" to your partner if they're only being that way b/c they saw you flirting with/fondling someone of the opposite sex. Be aware of how your actions affect others. Be real with yourself & put yourself in your partner's shoes. If you can honestly admit that if the tables were turned, you'd be angry, jealous or insecure too, don't even try stooping low & making your partner feel bad/guilty for being insecure. You NEVER have a valid argument against insecure people when you're constantly giving them valid reasons to be insecure.

21. The ex. We get it, we get it. Your ex was a big part of your life, blah blah blah. But hey, if you still need his/her pictures, call us back when you're finally done harping/drooling over your ex. Finish 1 thing before you start another. You may be completely over your ex, BUT if your ex isn't yet over you, you can't possibly have a real friendship with him/her, therefore there's no use in arguing with your partner about how they need to chill & start trusting you around that person. An ex has had emotional power over you before. Of course it's slightly intimidating & frightening to know that even after you've made the CHOICE to move on from them, that yet you still continue to entertain someone whose already had their chances with you (chances they probably messed up!) Being on civil terms with your ex is ok but trying to be their best friend is bullshxt & you know it!

^ Agreed. Was just scrolling through looking for 'lack of communication'. Can't address squat with zero input.

I was getting to the "Communication" part. I had something come up so I couldn't finish writing it! Come on now guys, you know I'm thorough!

Posted by dancer23

Posted by krysrenee7
I was getting to the "Communication" part. I had something come up so I couldn't finish writing it! Come on now guys, you know I'm thorough!

Haha! Ive only been posting here a week and I have already figured that out about you. 😉

click to expand

=P