Well which 1 is it?!!

On 1 hand, society teaches women/men to love a person for who they are entirely, flaws & all.

On the other hand, society teaches women/men to run like hell, put your foot down or immediately leave a situation or relationship the minute you see bad traits or red flags

So which 1 is it?!!!

Should you love someone for who they are entirely, meaning you'd accept their flaws...and flaws sometimes include getting hurt, played, betrayed or done wrong by that person (negative flaws bring out negative actions/behaviors)?

OR should we stop worrying so much about being someone's "ride or die" & love only on a "conditional" basis?

There's disadvantages to both...If you love someone unconditionally, flaws & all, like society says, that means loyalty should keep 2 people together REGARDLESS of the circumstances, flaws or red flags that may come out later. Problem with that is that you'd be more likely to end up staying in a bad/unhealthy relationship...something society frowns upon.

However, if you give up too easily or run like hell the minute you see flaws that the rest of the world would tell you to "dump his ass" for, you're told that you're standards are too high or that you must "bend" a little if you ever wanna keep a man. If you tick in this way, you'll never end up in a long lasting relationship simply b/c 100% of the population has ugly traits/flaws that will eventually surface.

So which 1 is it?

Same goes for "change."

On 1 hand, society teaches us that people don't change over night & that you shouldn't have to/try to change someone

However, society ALSO teaches us that that we should stay IF someone is willing/promising to change.

So which 1 is it...Should you stay with the 1-time cheater b/c "people change"
OR should you dump his ass when your girlfriends swear that most people don't change? (And if they actually DO change, it's probably not gonna happen in the time span that you're around---change will probably happen much later & when they're already with someone ELSE)

Every human on the planet has flaws. It is up to us individually what we deem acceptable or unacceptable. Me? I love who I love. Simple as that. Unless you are a serial killer with one peg leg, an ax to grind and go by the name "Lucky Strike"..well then. Someone humming "Working My Way Back To You Babe" while they sharpened a 10" French knife..
Obviously behavioral issues that are beyond the norm, mental issue, drug addiction, criminal tendencies, etc. And truth told, many do not change. Talk a big game to placate, but true change never happens unless there's a willingness for it. Far simpler ( and more human ) to slide down that slippery slope back to Wonderland. Straight shot down the rabbit hole Alice.
I often wonder from time to time how much shit people would get away with, if it simply was stated in no uncertain terms that it's not part of the grand picture. "Well congrats there Sparky! You get the prize for being a real asshole/bitch!" ..along those lines. If it wasn't swept under the rug with the grandiose statement that "Well he'll/she'll change for ME, see the super hero cape?" I call bullshit.
And following that to its natural conclusion, the one time cheater, would be the last time cheater. That cracked ass would be hitting the door. Homie..most definitely..does not play dat.

LOL Do I need to show you my peg leg now? Just call me "Lucky" for short.

I agree with Scorpella

Agree with Lena.

I personally don't believe in monitoring or conditioning love. I think that it should be genuine, from the heart.

Relationship dynamics is where you create healthy limits for yourself.

I think you have to accept that YOU have flaws and so does everyone else. The question is: Can you live w/ their flaws? You have to accept that in all likelihood you will not change them & nobody's perfect so; is it something you can deal w/ or not? I have similar story to Scorporella, I loved my ex but after many years I couldnt deal w/ certain aspects of his personality and therefore broke it off. He's not a bad person and neither am I. I just couldnt deal w/ his 'flaws'....whilst there are some 'flaws' I can deal w/ in other people.
Now, the cheating factor is something else! Flaws are one thing - Character defects another.

i think love is conditional.
for example i will not accept a cheater/manipulator/abuser for who they are. that wouldn't be fair to me.
your significant other is just another stranger at the end of the day.
i can tolerate crap from my own flesh and blood (family) to a great extent but not from a stranger.

I think you guys missed my point.

I wasn't encouraging people to listen to society's "rules." But it's no secret that most people do to an extent, whether they realize it or not.

And by society, I don't mean a whole bunch of random strangers, love books or relationship magazines. I mean family, friends, peers & people whom we're all around & whom have great influence in our lives & in how we make our choices. Yes, we absolutely DO learn certain values/behaviors/mindsets from our environments (i.e. society).

And I'm not saying that it's right/wrong to accept/reject certain flaws.

I'm just curious to know how some people can preach the theory that it's NOT love unless BOTH people accept each other's flaws. Doesn't accepting someone's flaws sort of mean putting up with it. After all, if you're NOT willing to leave the relationship or put up with it, it's literally b/c you DON'T accept their flaws. And hey, if you reject their flaws, that's ok

BUT again, how can you truly love someone if your own definition of love includes loving someone for who they are entirely, flaws & all & yet be ok with leaving them b/c of those very same flaws? That's very contradictory to me