What if the kids don't want thier visitation?

Do you all agree with this article?

http://www.mercurynews.com/family-relationships/ci_17769604<BR>
When I read the question this man posed I had the same initial reaction as the respondent. I paused when I read him say —it looks like the girls are coming around as well.?? because it sounds like he's coaching them to that end. However, being in the situation I also recognize that he may have his beliefs without pushing them on the children. That isn't really the point of this post though. I??ll concede that it is wrong to make the kids feel the need to pick between parents (or to undermine or belittle the other at all). My question is this: If the children decide they no longer want to visit that other parent, what do you do?

This article says to make them go anyway. In summary, it likens visitation to chores and homework. If the kids don't want to do their homework you??d make them do it anyway. Do you agree with this attitude? Why (or why not)?

I do agree with the final lines, —A good answer when the kids say they don't want to go to Mom's? "It's you time with Mom. Enjoy it!"??. But what if they don't? Do you continue making them go?

Does it make a difference if the visitation is a constant back and forth thing (shared custody through the week and alternating weekends like in the article) or it is with one parent during the school year and just does a few weeks during the summer with the other?

I think it all depends on why the children/kid doesn't want to go see their other parent. If there's safety or abuse concerns or if there's alot of instability at the other parent's house, I'd do everything to keep my children safe or in good hands, even if that means them technically not getting to see the other parent as often. My child's well being would come 1st. And children usually give off hints to 1 parent that there is some sort of dysfunction or danger going on in the other household; that's not something I'd ignore.

Plus, it all depends on what the children "know." If 90% of the bad blood b/w them & 1 parent is b/c of the parents putting the children in the middle of their drama/relationship or communication problems, I'd focus more on trying to get the child to get back to a place where they can judge each parent fairly, instead of allowing 1 parent to brainwash or turn them against the other.

Again, it all just depends on their exact reasons for why they'd prefer to stay only with 1 parent. Most children don't mind bouncing back & forth between different households as long as BOTH places implement similar structures, disciple & an environment.

I kind of agree with the article. When my parents divorced, I lived with my mom and all I heard about was what she thought was wrong with my dad. As a consequence, I rarely visited him (she had custody, but I was free to see him whenever I wanted). I believed my mother and didn't have an interest in hanging out with someone painted in such a bad light. If I had spent more time with my dad, I could have realized much earlier that there were two sides to the story and maybe we could have had a much better relationship than we ended up having. My mom took that from me by seeking my loyalty to her side.