crushing while in a relationship

some say it's wrong and akin to "mental cheating".
some say it's normal and healthy.

what is your opinion on this, dxp-ers?

You won't be looking for an emotional affair unless there's something lacking in your current relationship. In that case, the answer isn't to go outside of the relationship to find the solution. And if you're THAT focused on going outside, leave the relationship altogether. You're not doing your partner any favors by having 1 foot in the door, & the other out.

If you're in, you oughta be in! And if you can't fix the problems that are causing you to desire cheating emotionally in the 1st place then you need to do everyone a favor & leave the relationship. Cheating emotionally will NOT solve the problems going on inside of the relationship, especially when your partner finds out you've been straying.

If you're not happy in your relationship, that's fine! Own up to that! But if you signed up for an emotionally AND physically monagomous relationship, you have NO business continuing on in that relationship unless you're still dedicating ALL of you (not half of you) to your partner.

Seeing someone whom you feel is attractive is 1 thing, but allowing yourself to start crushing on them takes energy & is a big no no. People say you can't control who you like; yes, you absolutely can! If you're crushing on others b/c you're talking to them all the time, hanging around them all the time or putting yourself in situations/environments that encourage that kind of thing, STOP! It's literally that simple. Allowing someone to emotionally affect you is NOT an over-night process or something we can't control. We can either feed into it OR disconnect from it before it even gets started.

And YES, crushing hard for people while taken is usually the beginning stages of cheating. If you can't ever maintain platonic friendships with others w/o wanting to jump their bones or be intimate with them, then your "crushing" has gone too far. And most cheaters don't just cheat overnight. It all starts with the small stuff like crushing on someone 1 day at a time.

Posted by size zero superhero
"I wasn't thinking" is equally popular with cheating men

So true

Posted by 69virgo
Men can have mental affairs,women can't ....too weak..yeah i said it!

I don't know why this happens but statistics actually back up what you're saying. But then again not.

Women are most likely to have twice as many emotional affairs as men. When a man cheats, he's probably cheated physically. But you can bet that when a woman cheated, it was probably physical AND emotional too.

I think part of the reason women don't get caught cheating as much as men do is b/c women are known to have emotional affairs, that are in essense a little harder to catch. It's alot easier to see a hickey & know what that means vs. your girl coming home with a "glow" & you assuming it must be b/c of you! lol (Haha nope that glow is b/c the mailmen has been "delivering!" )

Has happened to me before.

< not a playerrr, I just crush a lot ! Fire sign motto. Lol

It's natural. You will always meet people you really like and connect with, regardless if you met someone prior to that and are already involved with them.

Posted by size zero superhero
Makes little difference if you're currently involved. Entering a relationship certainly won't disable us from recognizing or appreciating redeeming qualities in members of the opposite sex, although this doesn't necessarily mark the beginning of a side-crush.

Involvement in a relationship also doesn't negate physical appeal of outsiders and we all know this, granted, not everyone admits it. Self-restraint is effortless given the relationship is worthwhile. And if not, appreciating others MIGHT be a concern at some point.

Stay honest with yourself and ask whether you're in it for the right reasons, and you're golden.

this. 🙂

Posted by Claire
I actually feel like it might be a bit abnormal how I hardly ever crush on people! Idk, maybe.

Haha you're living up to your cancer shell?

It is a little abnormal to me since the Cancer girls I know crush on everyone that passes them

normal and healthy.

Feeling attraction for another person is 1 thing; it's not that big of a deal. It's when a person turns their "crush" or small attraction into something MORE, that it can become a problem. And yes, 1 thing ALL cheaters have in common is that they 1st started out "crushing" in some way on the person they ended up cheating with. Doesn't mean that all crushes turn into infidelity, BUT those who've cheated def. crushed on someone 1st

Posted by Claire

Posted by brianafay

Posted by Claire
I actually feel like it might be a bit abnormal how I hardly ever crush on people! Idk, maybe.

Haha you're living up to your cancer shell?

😏

I think being in love for a number of years over the past decade says something now that I think about it. Even when you're over it you're still aware that you're not likely to experience the same level of crush that you had on them very easily. Plus you can't crush on someone when you're in love with someone else, absolutely no way. What about you, Brianna?? 🙂

click to expand

I feel like I'm in love with the Libra...but I have met others in between him that I've really felt connected to.
I will always choose him. That's all I know.

Mental cheating, definitely. If you don't act on it or tell someone, then its only you who know the truth.