When do you 'jump?'

Times have changed!

Back in the day, 2 people would barely know 2 things about eachother BUT due to a 'good time' they'd get into a relationship & just 'pray it actually worked out!

Now-a-days, 2 people have to damn near be madly in love & know everything about eachother FIRST before even being willing to start the relationship (which I personally think isn't necessarily the best strategy all the time)

So my question is, when have you all gotten in relationships?

-Before you were in love (Just in the 'like' stage)?
-When you were at the brink of starting to fall in love?
-Or AFTER you've officially fallen in love?

And which is best/or likely to help the relationship last longer?

Obviously barely knowing someone & getting into a relationship isn't all that smart

BUT

I disagree with the aspect of fully getting to know someone inside & out before even being in the relationship for a day yet!

I think it takes away the mystery, which is why alot of women/men end up in the 'friend' stage, wondering why things never progressed to relationship level

I'm all for 2 people fully getting to know eachother BUT I just think it's best when you know 50 before the official title comes & spend the relationship actually enjoying the art of getting to know them, which is ultimately what spices things up & keeps the interest there.

If 2 people already know too much about eachother, what's there to look forward to? There's no challenge! There's no mystery! There's no chase!

I can completely understand why a man who wouldn't make it official with a chick he'd been dating for 2 years would go on to end up in a relationship with another chick that he might've only known for 3-6 months

Meanwhile the old chick is sitting around & wondering what went wrong! But what she fails to realize is that she gave all of her cards too soon (not just sex)

"So my question is, when have you all gotten in relationships?

-Before you were in love (Just in the 'like' stage)?
-When you were at the brink of starting to fall in love?
-Or AFTER you've officially fallen in love?

And which is best/or likely to help the relationship last longer?"

For me, I met my current man slave (an Aqua) almost 2 years ago. Although we are not official, we just enjoy the time we do spend together. We don't talk about our relationship and where its going. We just let things unfold naturally.....it's nice to have someone to pal around with. (Even if it's an LDR).

We hit it off right from the start! Lots of laughing, playful bantering and great converstaion. And he gives the best "mental head" ever! I swear sometimes it's better than the real thing! (well maybe not 😛) We have a lot in common and we have seperate intrests/lives/friends that keeps our relationship "light and fresh"

I started to fall for him when I realized that he was being distant. (he started acting like Aston Kutcher in No Strings Attached) and THATS when things changed. He is such a gentle person and my Aries moon makes me wanna DIVE into him, but he can pick up on that and I like that he slows the pace. It is very easy for me to follow his lead and pick up what lays down without me losing my OWN independence! What attracted me to him is that fact that he is so detached.

From my experiences, I believe it is better to be friends first. There is already a foundation built and things can progress naturally without the complications of games/tests. You can also decided (mentally) if you want to allow yourself to be more than friends with that person and slowly take it to the next level. 🙂

As for which way is best, I can't really answer that. You have to do what works for you.

Posted by aquaj
So my question is, when have you all gotten in relationships? My Sadge and I met at the end of September and made it official on October 13th.

-Before you were in love (Just in the 'like' stage)? We were deeply in like and we both knew that we were ready for a relationship so we thought, why not?
-When you were at the brink of starting to fall in love? I don't think we were thinking about that yet.
-Or AFTER you've officially fallen in love? Definitely hadn't fallen yet.

And which is best/or likely to help the relationship last longer? In my opinion and experience, it's best to jump in with both feet first, it takes the commitment/monogamy question off the table so that you can focus on getting to know each other and building your love story.

omg we made it official on October 14th, on his birthday.

I am so tempted to chime in but I think arranged marriages do not count much as a relationship

Posted by ShahBano
I am so tempted to chime in but I think arranged marriages do not count much as a relationship

Don't feel bad ShahBano......I lived with a psychopath for 13 years - NOT arranged by anyone else!!! I have learnt it is impossible to have a relationship with these people, so I guess that doesn't count either but a bit chuck of my life has gone nonetheless.

Please feel free to chime in. Sometimes it helps to get it out. Stops you going so crazy inside😕

*chunk of my life

?Freudian slip

Posted by aquaj

And which is best/or likely to help the relationship last longer? In my opinion and experience, it's best to jump in with both feet first, it takes the commitment/monogamy question off the table so that you can focus on getting to know each other and building your love story.

That's exactly what I think & what I see happening

When both people are open to & ok with entering into a relationship persay it needs to go that route, that's the best way to go b/c they can spend the entire time actually getting to know eachother instead of partly doing that & spending too much time worrying about whether or not it can progress to the next level

And when people get tied up in worrying about titles, it def. brings the insecurities out of people & can def. ruin things. Either someone ends up giving too much b/c they think that's the only way to get wifed up OR they give too little out of fear of never being good enough even if they do everything right!

That way 2 people won't spend so much time together & 1 person end up admitting that a relationship wasn't really their cup of tea whether the person in front of them was right for them or not

That's why people should be open minded & have their standards present from the beginning. People try to act like the goal of dating isn't a relationship, but it is!

And if 1 or both people go into dating already knowing up front that a relationship isn't what they want, that's wrong & it's best to know these things in the beginning so that someone doesn't get hurt.

That way you'll know that if you don't end up together it wasn't b/c of some insecurity or baggage from the past but moreso b/c both people weren't right for eachother.

Scary stuff....

I think either way holds a 50/50 chance of workin out though the knowledge of true character and the way they react to certain situations does help.

So you can say Im partial to knowing someone and then jumping... Because it seems to feel safer that way.. Though jumping and discovering things about one another isnt too bad either.

freaking Libra merc & venus.