ADVICE PLZ!! Sag has my head spinning

I'm a pisces he's a sag. We met thru a mutual friend and it was instant. we had this amazing bond i was kinda of taken aback by how strong and how fast he was taking things being i kno how sags are, but i went with it and followed his lead. he treated me great, even let me use his car for a week when mine broke down! he's the first guy i actually believed the words coming out of his mouth. i didnt bring up or talk about "where is this going" bcuz i was so confident for once that i didnt have to ask, i just knew it was all good. we were both on the same page we were both looking for a relationship with the right kind of person, we had both said we were only seeing each other although there were no titles. he even bought me my own pillow for his bed. then one day i text him and asked him if he would wanna go see a movie and got no response...hours go by and i call him and i'm like hey whats up did you not get my msg? and he was short. the next day he tells me at that moment "he realized how serious things were getting" and he's not sure if he is ready for the commitment, that he wants it but he's afraid of it! i'm like whoa nobody took it there. i just thought it was rude of you to ignore me. i literally just followed his lead, i did not initiate all the lovey dovey stuff i just reciprocated! and now he has freaked HIMSELF out!! things were okay but then i got upset with him again for ignoring me when i asked him a question thru text and i kinda popped off at the mouth =/ he wouldnt answer my calls for 2 weeks! i knew i had messed up so i went to talk to him in person and we had a long talk and i apologized for blowing a little thing out of proportion and he apologized for the way he handled the situation. we decided to continue seeing each other but he said he doesnt wanna rush to label anything. and to just promise him if i start seeing anyone else that i will be upfront with him— i said cool nobody's rushing. we have hung out once since then (this all took place last week) and he was awesome. but now its like night and day! he barely calls it seems like he really doesnt care if i'm around or not. I'm really hurt but he doesnt know. i dont know whether to give him his space and hope he stops freaking himself out or just to cut my losses and walk away before i make a fool of myself. im just really hurt because i really wasnt pushing anything crazy serious i was just enjoying getting to know him! sorry so long ADVICE PL

Yes. Sags take such a long time to commit to anything...I think he did scare himself off a bit. HE DOES CARE ABOUT YOU THO. If a sag spent any, and I mean ANY time on you it's because he cares for you. Sags are not the type to put time into something they don't care about or have an interest in, they don't really believe in social grace. Like unless they care. And for him to come back and say sorry and even spend the time doing that means he cares. Because if he didn't he would seriously be like "fuck it, I'm out" and just leave. But he came back to set things right between you too.


Now though, like what everyone else is saying he does Not sound ready for a relationship. Caring and commiting are two different things. I think this is where it's hard to understand. I have cared about so many people and loved them but could not commit to them. And it's nothing on them but we have a hungry to be free. We want to be able to love with out any chains or rules. (Which is not reality) and they don't call us peter pan for nothing lol. So if you go your sperate ways at least you will know you were not uncared about. Sags have really big hearts. And at least you can walk away with that🙂

thank you very much for all of your advice.


Archer: I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have had other Sag's in my life and this is turning into a very famillar situation.I love Sags but sometimes they make me pull my hair out lol. I think your advice is very helpful. So if i take the casual way and just hang out til i find someone else thats okay i guess too. But given their freedom and space has a Sag ever been known to just come around on their own? I mean if we continue to see each other casually or whatever either ending would be ok either i meet someone else eventually and just move on or he realizes i'm not trying to lock him in a dungeon forever... Guess we'll see. But i'll just make sure to keep my options open.

actually that question goes for every Sag if the person gave you your freedom have you ever decided after time that, that person was good for you and you ended up together?


This is hilarious to me because generally i would just be like F.. this and move on but this guy really did treat me better than any other guy has ever, and did some really nice things for me, so i'm trying to look at things from a different perspective.

"if the person gave you your freedom have you ever decided after time that, that person was good for you and you ended up together?"

Yeah, maybe but by the time I have realized that it's usually too late.

Sags have a really hard time picking up on things romantically. Are sign is not based on that. It's based on friendship. Why are you holding on to him if your just gonna date other people?

Why are you holding on to him if your just gonna date other people?



--Defense mechanism i guess. I'm not sure i'm ready to completely give up on him yet but at the same time I'm not gonna sit around and wait for him with out keeping my options open being there is a pretty damn good chance he'll never be ready no matter how much i dont pressure him. I guess i just see it as a win-win.

Yeah that makes sense. He'll probably get jealous too lol. Sag men get that way. Not so much the women but the men do.

I dated one and if another guy layed a finger on him he'd go ape and try to beat up the guy. I thought it was stupid, but some people probably find it funny lol

ya thats all cool in moderation. i'm not gonna lie it would probably make me feel good for a moment if he did get a little jealous. thats bad lol. =D

"Sag men are invariably Dumber than Sag women. " LOL here here!

"We Sags are strange people. We love, we leave, we love, we come back, we love, we leave, we welcome you when you are back, we leave..."

Listen to Likebrad and GET OUT NOW!! Before it's too late. I am a Scorpio and I have had a Sag man obsessing about me for 18 years. When we were together for five years he seemed to only want me when I was leaving him and he would beg me back and then I would think he was sincere and I would take him back only for him to start questioning the relationship again and he would begin the sabotaging. He wouldn't leave and he wouldn't commit. I finally had to cut off all communication with him 13 years ago because he was driving me crazy and wearing on my self-esteem. He contacted me again recently telling me how he has never gotten over me and that no one has ever compared so I thought that maybe now he has matured enough to handle a real relationship. We have been e-mailing and talking on the phone and now he is getting all freaked out by the intensity of the relationship again (which he started) and he has started to hint around about how he doesn't want to get married and how he likes to be alone. What the F— Sag behavior is just so far outside of my realm of understanding. How can he claim to have never gotten over me after 13 years, actually get the chance with me again, only to blow it once again. Can you sags please enlighten me?? What the hell does it finally take for you to make a damn committment—

Good sex.

Haha!! That's what got him to stay for 5 years in the first place. If it wasn't for that he probably would not have comitted for as long as he did. This time though he is not getting any sex or anything else until if and when he figures out what he wants. I have been trying to be patient and treat the relationship newly, but this has not been easy. I am just trying to take the whole thing lightly and go on with my life and continue to date and look for my life partner. I haven't even met with him yet, because I am letting him lead because I can tell that he is fearful of his feelings. He hints around about meeting but doesn't even make a committment to meet for a cup of coffee. He keeps saying that there is no rush and that we have plenty of time to take it slowly and try to get to know each other again. He calls or e-mails and then he talks about something that makes him really emotional and then he pulls back and I don't hear from again for a few days. I know that I should find the strength just to cut off the communication and just see it as closure before he sucks me back in again, but the "what if's" are driving me crazy. Only the most patient of signs should try to date a sag. :-)

Well, when we get to the meeting for a cup of coffee point I will probably just ask him in person because I don't have another 13 years to waste on him, that's for sure. I'm thinking he will probably contact me again in the next day or so. I probably should just talk to his Mother and find out what she thinks. She was the one who was one of my deciding factors 13 years ago to finally break up with him for good. She patted me on the knee one day when I was upset with him and told me. "Dear, he is just not the marrying kind" His own mother didn't have any faith in him that he would ever be able to committ. He does have a daughter now though and I am shocked that he is actually a really good responsible father. I never thought that he would make a very good father and neither did she. At least he committed to that.

That is so not true!! What you are talking about is not a scorp thing it's an insecure man thing. In my relationship I gave him all the freedom he wanted and he went and hung himself with all of his freedom and got himself in all kinds of trouble and then blamed me. He claimed that I was not needy enough and that I didn't care about him because I wasn't possesive and demanding that he stay home all the time. He liked that about me at the beginning of the relationship and of course is the reason he wants me back now. He was the one who wanted the slave. He wanted to go out and be free, but he didn't want to give me the same freedom. He wanted me to be home waiting for him all the time. He wanted me to work my entire schedule around his. He would go nuts if I wasn't home when he was home or if I didn't want to go to bed or get up at the same time that he did.

The thing about scorps not seeing what makes Sags fear....What us scorps don't see is what the hell doesn't a sag fear?? They fear EVERYTHING so we can't win!! It's like trying to win the trust of a rescued abused dog. He comes forward just a little bit, but then the first sign that we are going to pick you up you run away.

WOW i see i started an interesting conversation. seems i'm not the only one who finds Sags frustrating!!! haha So my Sags bday is this weekend and he wrote me (his phone is broken) and asked what my plans are this weekend that its his bday (like i didnt know) and he thinks he wants to go to such and such place. Kinda sounds like an invite right? haha who knows with him. i told him i have a few things to do but if he wants to do something let me know, that i'm not sure if he wants to hang out or is simply telling me what he is gonna do this weekend, i never know with him! and NO RESPONSE..... wtf why even bring it up then. freak.

Yeah, like I said, it's a guy thing not a sign thing. My sag used to do nothing on my birthday either. He used to pretend like he forgot. 13 years later though he still remembers my birthday. He says he has changed his selfish ways now though and he even apologised for always being so selfish back then.

fishy fishy, sounds like he is terrified of rejection. He wants to hear that you INSIST on taking him out for his birthday. I have a Sag girlfriend and she always needs to be begged before she will actually let me do anything for her for her birtday. She is so afraid of somebody doing something for her that puts them out.

"She is so afraid of somebody doing something for her that puts them out." Yeah that's because we can to it the best🙂

SagStar:

Ya we pisces can be pretty laid back, sometimes too laid back i think and people step all over us. I really have no problem with his freedom, i want my freedom too. I've been in a relationship where he was jealous of my friends and always thinking they would convince me to leave him and i felt like i was suffocating. But you hit the nail on the head with the fact that we are totally cool with it as long as its addressed and made that way with from the BEGINNING. my problem with my sag is he didnt make it that way from the beginning he made it serious from the beginning and then flipped the script which is why i'm so irritated and kinda mad at him. most guys are casual from the beginning and then maybe it gets more serious. this guy is ass backwards. lol. i think pisces and sags make awesome couples. we atleast me and sag... i love the bluntness I HATE LIARS,and Sag tells the truth good bad or ugly! sometimes it stings but in the end it doesnt hurt like being lied to. Before i met him i was dating 2 other Sags casually of course lol. And i loved it they are awesome people. One is the definition of Sag- bachelor forever we have been dating on and off for like 4 yrs...casually of course 😉 but as soon as he feels me start to fall he pulls back lol. i'm use to it now he's more like a best friend. and the other was just the sweetest boy in the world, he was a weird one tho. he was kinda committment crazy he was in a 5 yr relationship b4 i met him and b4 that in a 2 yr relationship, different kinda Sag. Maybe i'll start seeing them again and just have 3 Sags!!! ;D lol

SagStar:

WOW you sounds like you guys have the exact same personality! lol your poor pisces! haha jk. The beginning of your relationship sounds exactly like our situation except the whole i love you thing, no way haha. He literally pulled back out of no where like he had been sleeping the whole time and woke up like where the hell am i? And just like you said it was his fault i just wanted to take things slowly and he was full force lovey mushy yada yada. He even admitted that it was all him. I never asked for that i even told him do you always talk to girls you barely met like this? and his response was no but if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten. Whatever he'll be back... they all do. My problem is i get bored with these kinda situations and swim away...

O.K. I did hear from the Sag today. I don't hear from him in about 4 days and then wham!! "When are we going to meet?" he says. I tell him that I have tomorrow off and Sunday and he says he is busy with his daughter because she is out of school until after Thanksgiving so we talked about getting together just for coffee the week after. He tells me that he has been thinking about all of these things from the past and then he says. Does meeting for coffee mean we are getting back together?? I was stunned and I just laughed and said. Let's just get through coffee first. Then he said he was just kidding and that it was a dumb thing to say and that he doesn't know why he said that. He always says stuff like that and then takes it back and then pulls away for a few days. When I talked to him about 4 days ago the last thing he said to me before he hung up is that he always wants to cry when he sees this one photo that he took of me. I can't tell if he is just messing with me or what. I know I say all of the wrong things when he says things because it shocks me when he says them and I always think of things that I should have said after the fact. I never know how to react and then I think he feels rejected or I make him feel stupid. But when I say something like that to him he seems to freak out. One time I told him that I don't know how to handle the emotions I'm starting to feel for him again and he started telling me how he likes to be alone and doesn't want to get married. So I told him that I do hope to find someone to marry someday and he said. Well, it would have to be really right for him to get married. I'm getting so many mixed messages. It's going to be really intense to see him again after all these years, but I'm not sure I want to get back on that rollercoaster again.

ashley,

Every post on this page applies to me and my Sag. Its so weird, but I'm literally fascinated by him. Its fun to watch him. And he definitely looks at me sometimes and shakes his head and laughs. I'm loving every second. I would elaborate, but you literally described it perfectly. 🙂

I read that an older more mature Sag will eventually want to settle down and not feel so trapped by relationships anymore. Do you guys think that is true?

I like the new photo likebrad!

My Dad was like that when he was younger too, but he is not a Sag. He finally settled down when he got into his late 30's and stopped cheating when he married his 3rd wife.

This Sag guy is 45 also and is someone who when I knew him in his 20's could never be alone and without a girlfriend. We broke up about 3 different times in the 5 years we were together and he always immediately started dating someone else to avoid being alone while at the same time constantly trying to get me back. I'm not sure if he ever actually cheated on me, but I know that he lied to me about dating other women when he was trying to get back with me and work things out which is just as bad in my book. He reminded me of Hank Moody from the show Californication or Big from "Sex in the City". This behavior is how he ended up with a daughter with a woman he didn't love and that is what finally ended our relationship for good back then. He told one of my friends that I should have been the one that was having his baby and the whole thing infuriated and disgusted me and I just could never talk to him again until now 13 years later. Now he claims that he has been mostly alone for the last 6 years except for an occasional date now and then and that he hasn't loved anyone since me. I think a lot of that has to do with raising his daughter. He says that he meets women that will want to date him but that he just has no desire to just settle for any relationship and that he is fine being alone until the right one comes along. I think he has been carrying a torch for me all of these years because of the way it ended with us. He feels a lot of guilt and remorse about the whole thing. I would like to believe that he has really changed because there are a lot of things that I really loved about him and I have not been in a serious relationship since him and have never felt for anyone else what I felt for him. McClure50 has it right. There is never a dull moment with a Sag. That's why I fell in love with him. He never bored me. When things were good he was so much fun, but when things were bad they were really bad. I felt like I was manic depressive back then. So happy one minute and so miserable the next.

The hidden post was just a double post. I hit the button twice. I'm glad you have met someone who Pulled you out of being a loner.