help with pisces male

There is a very cute and cool pisces guy in my office and we know each other for like 6 mts. Lately we grew into being close friends like texting every day and going out for drinks. He shared many of his personal interests, dreams and little projects with me. Our conversations were deep, warm and fun. But from time to time he was acting like a stranger, and when I was asking what's wrong, he was telling me he had some other problem and we were fine.

Anyways, I started to have feelings for him and decided to open up. I briefly told him about what I felt and told him that I just want to spend more time and be closer with him so that we could know each other better but if his heart was not there I hope we could still be good friends".

He asked me if I needed an answer back and I said "take your time if you need". then he stopped all contacts with me, I was like okay but then I saw him removed me from his MSN list and at that point I said "wait, what's happening" and then I contacted him and "why don't we talk about it because it starts hurting me this way" and he did not respond. I called him, no answer. I was very heartbroken and I wrote him a long message telling everything I felt about him and how much I cared about him in a very nice, very romantic way. I was hoping he would respond positively but he asked me "apparently there must have been some misunderstandings so he would like us to close down this chapter and stay only as peers in the office". I replied telling him that I like to be friends not just office-mates, and he basically said "please leave me alone". I tried to apologize a couple of times, once by giving him a little present but he returned it and started to totally ignoring me. I asked him if he has any body else in his life or heart but he did not say anything, yes or no.

It has been 2 weeks and he is still ignoring me and trying not to make our roads crossed at the office. I stopped contacting him as well but whenever we meet randomly, I say "good morning" and "hi" and he answers (unwillingly of course).

I was wondering if there is a way to cool down his anger against me and be friends with him again. I thought my mistake was acting too early and asking him to make some kind of commitment before we know each other thoroughly. I know that we would have been a good couple but right now I just want to go back to being friends. How can I do it?

He's been a bit harsh I think. So he wasn't ready to be anything more than friends, he could have at least told you. He probably just feels that he can't be friends with you knowing you have feelings for him, but as I said he should have just told you this honestly, to simply ignore you is pretty poor.

As SF said forget him and move on, personally if it were me, I wouldn't want the friendship to pick back up anyway, not if that was how he acted.

"If he had bluntly told you that he was not interested, he would have hurt you terribly, right there in front of him"

But surely that would have been better because she would at least know where she stood? I just cannot stand someone who can't be honest, and would rather just "ignore" a situation or person in the hope that it, or they, go away.

I just find it cowardly.

It is cowardly and very odd of him.

I personally think that he has another woman or a serious girlfriend. He probably just wanted to have you as a "release" from reality from his other girl.

Then you started putting all this "pressure" on him. Because you wanted to be serious. You probably reminded him of his real girlfriend, hence him severing all ties with you.

Where is your pride woman? Stop chasing him!

"i thing it's very disrespectul to treat another like a child who cannot take the cold hard truth and make the decision on how to move on. it's better to just tell how it is as it is then avoiding to face another's disappointment or pain"

Exactly. OK so it may not have been nice to hear but had he just been upfront with her at the time, well she'd probably already have moved on by now, instead of obsessing about it. There is nothing worse than not knowing where you stand, I'd much rather face the cold truth and deal with it, than be left sitting wondering what the hell is going on.

"When it comes down to it, it is never easy to tell someone you like, that you don't like them in "that way". He took an alternative route and sent a clear message (cutting all ties is a very clear message)"

You mean he took the easy route lol. 😛

The thing that bothers me about it, is that it's done for HIS benefit not hers, because HE can't face it. If he was thinking about her he'd have done the decent thing, been a man, and just told her. He didn't do it not to spare her feelings, but his own discomfort.

To add on to what I was saying about the "pressure" thing. He shared his dreams with you. You all did fun things together. You messed up (in his eyes) when you started trying to define things. The thrill is gone. Where's the magic?

Sometimes I think that I think like a man. Or it could just be the gemini thing. Most women (and some men) want to talk things out and define things to death! Then there's no room for anything magical to happen because boundaries and expectations are set in stone. It feels like you're being trapped into something that once felt so natural, fun, and free.

That could be it...but...something tells me this guy has a serious girlfriend that he may be having problems with.

It could be this or it could be that he does in fact have a serious girlfriend.

Gracias mi burro.

I can still see her pov as well tho. The message was loud and clear but he switched up AFTER he opened himself up to her. Thus leaving her confused. She thought she was on the relationship track with this dude, and understandably so. He opens himself up to her, makes her feel like she's wanted by him, and then when she confronts him with her feelings, he pulls the rug out from under her.

I was just saying in general about the "talking things out to death" thing. I can understand why he might feel the way he does but it still doesn't negate the fact that he was very cold to her. And I can understand why she's confused and hurt.

God knows I've done my share of leaving men high and dry this way and make no mistake about it it all boils down to being a coward in one way or the other.

Thats harsh behavior for a Pisces, are we sure he's a Pisces. Sounds like a Scorpio to me lol!

P-Angel would have you believe that all his actions are accurate because he is pisces and you have to be patient and you are selfish for wanting to know the reason.

But I think you may have been a little pushy, but you wanting to know what exactly made him all of a sudden act that way is justified.

"I started to have feelings for him and decided to open up. I briefly told him about what I felt and told him that I just want to spend more time and be closer with him so that we could know each other better but if his heart was not there I hope we could still be good friends".

He asked me if I needed an answer back ... "


Now, you're getting it, Queen .. however, not quite there yet. When you posted this .. "P-Angel would have you believe that .." .. it was intended to sound mocking, when in fact what you said is the truth, and you know not.

All Pisceans would likely respond as he did, if they thought about it from a deeper perspective. At first glance of this, I left it on the surface .. how does it look? Then once taken in, and I put myself in this position .. I can acknowledge what he did, and would have taken the same path.

If I was really connected to a person, and this person and I shared really deep moments together, spent time such as has been described in here, such as ... "He shared many of his personal interests, dreams and little projects with me. Our conversations were deep, warm and fun." ........ for 6 months with this person, and then the person said something to me like .. ".. could know each other better but if his heart was not there .." .. then this would have flags waving all over it.

You mean I've been sharing my depth with you all this time, and you have to ASK whether my heart is with you? You don't KNOW?

Pisces work on an intuitive level ... we share our depth with another and assume they can feel us. If they have to ask us whether we're feeling them, after 6 months of coupling on an emotional depth ... then certainly, all of us would be left puzzled as was he.

This would be like us making love to another, with heart and soul and then the partner asking us .. "Was it good" .. What do you mean was it good? Were you not here with me? Could you not FEEL me?

Once she made this acknowledgement known to him ... that she could not feel him with her, because she said .. "if your heart is not there" .... then he did what all Fish would do at this point, when they realized the other could NOT feel their presence, and asked, "He asked me if I needed an answer back"

When she answered for him to take his time ... this was the conclusion he needed to hear, and swam. For it indicates that "yes", she did indeed need to "hear" with her ears, what her heart did not know.

she can not FEEL him, he swam=normal

Wow! No one can decipher the behavior as much as you do P-Angel!! Kudos to you!!!

bijou totally agree.
And I would so dot he same thing for loads of reasons. Firstly I think he's made it clear that he doesn't feel the same...So at least he was honest and hasn't led you on...You know where you stand!

Secondly...this stuff happens me the whole time too. I don't know if it's because of our nature us Pisces but there has been a hundred times when I waas getting close to a man and I thought it was purely friends and thought fro once it was a mutual close friendship I could believe in. Then they drop this bomb on you about having feelings and honestly I feel SO cheated!!!!!!!
I feel as though this person who I thought was my honest friend with no alterier motives has just turned into this person who was only connecting with me for their own benefit...to be with me...It could be just me but I always feel so disapointed....

I think you read the situation wrong though..I can understand why you might have thought he wanted a pyshical realtionship with you..but from my experience with Pisces you WILL never be left in any doubt...There is instant connection and everybody knows ye want each other or nothing..we just love to make friends and learn about the world is all...and in you he thought he had a REAL friend and you took that away from him...so what is he left with now?!?!?! Not a lover and no longer a friend...

Thats why he's ignoring you what do you want him to do with you?!?!?! He cant fit you in any box now..

Thats how I feel anyways but then again I am crazy

But I do have a question. Is seeking reassurance such a bad thing?

Thanks to everyone for sharing their opinion.

In all my communications with him, the only thing I repeatedly kept telling was "I understand you and I feel who you really are". I did not beg for his attention. I just told him that I want to help him, I care very much about him and I want to protect him form all kinds of troubles". because these were what I really felt for him.

It is sad because the last time I liked someone -a guy with an attachment-, I also came here and asking for advice, and thankfully I was able to move on without any harm. Now, I like this guy, he is single, nice, we have so much in common and I really like him as a person but he shuts down on me. I am a self-confident lady and people generally like me, but men are really hard to understand. I tried to treat this guy as nice as possible and approached him with all my respect and I know he is a nice guy but I really can not understand what happened here. Yes he had some problems at work and with his family and his apartment, he told me about them from time to time, but he never mentioned of someone in his life. I only know that he broke up with his college sweatheart couple of years back as they were making wedding plans and after he did not have any other serious relationship.

Today I saw him at the office, he was in the break room and I catched him staring at me while I was talking with some other guy. In the afternoon he also did something that puzzled me. I already mentioned that he tries not to make our roads crossed, but today he walked directly to me cubicle as he was passing and looked at me, but did not say anything. Not sure if these might be signs of cooling down?

ponytail, I already told you what happened. You are still saying you don't understand and cannot figure it out.


For 6 months the two of you were feeling each other .. he thought.

When you said, "but if his heart was not there" .... he realized at this point that you weren't feeling him, for if you were, then you wouldn't have questioned whether his heart was with you or not.

At this point he asks .. do you really need to hear an answer.

Your answer was yes ....

He swam ...



Just like that.

PA,

Yes, what you say makes perfect sense now. The reason I was telling I could not figure out was, I needed his clarification because sometimes he was behaving distant. Sometimes, some people need that verbal approval. Consider also that we work at the same office.

Some other point he made was: He told me that I was a very sensitive person and it was not hard to foresee that everytime we communicate this would potentially cause problems and he would hurt me without even realizing. He said he was a cool, relaxed and a bit selfish person and that's why he's having problems in meeting anybody's expectations and that's why his 6th sense tells him to stay away from me. (This conversation took place before our talk).

He was always careful around me, he was more relaxed when we were communicating in writing but around people and face 2 face he was tight. This was another point which led me to talk with him directly. I thought "Maybe I am giving him mixed signals".

What should I do now? I still feel him and I like him a lot but he is shut down. Is there any way to open a Pisces up once they swam?

PAY THEM NO MIND AT ALL...THE MORE YOU CHASE THE FASTER THEY SWIM!!

"Is there any way to open a Pisces up once they swam?"

Normally not, no ... however, you said that he still watches you, so there is a definite attraction in the under-currents.

Ponytail, Pisceans are feeling-based, completely ... if we are connected to a person and can feel them, we are centered around this connection. And though, he realizes that you aren't feeling him on the same level .. he is feeling you, still. Like a one-way road.

I would suggest that you write him a letter, and tell him how you feel about him ... however, in this letter, don't say anything to suggest that you doubt where his heart is, or fear of any kind that maybe he isn't on the same page as you.

What he did isn't unusual .... Pisces normally shut-down when they realize that the other isn't feeling them, when the other HAS to ask if their heart is there. So, what he did to you isn't out of the ordinary for our kind. But, if he's still lingering around you, then he WANTS you to feel him .. he is desiring for your heart to trust his.

Present to him that you trust his heart, and likely he'll give it another go .. however, you can't fake it, you have to really trust it.

PAY THEM NO MIND AT ALL...THE MORE YOU CHASE THE FASTER THEY SWIM!!

This is true